The Eastern world has numerous ideologies and concepts, where religions like Hinduism hold something for everyone, including the atheists (Samkhya). However, as the ages moved on beyond the time of the Rishis who channeled such deep philosophies, the light became dimmer as these ideologies moved down the line further away from those who perceived this information. Many Hindu/Vedic terms lost their meaning, where many words lost their true essence to meet the demands of the mundane world. As an example, the word Dharma has yet to be properly defined in Hinduism, though there will be many who counter-argue (all coming up with different interpretations). As Buddha Shakyamuni taught his way of life, calling it the "Dhamma", in fear of conversions, the Hindu priestly caste began to express that Shakyamuni was teaching a different Dharma, where Dharma ended up being synonymous with term "religion". Especially, since these countering religions do not stress the importance of the Vedas, to the priestly caste who profit from the ritualistic Vedic practice, such countering teachings were corrupted forms meant for outcastes (untouchables) who are too "filthy" to read the Vedas. Therefore, such beliefs lead to the idea that Buddha Shakyamuni was an incarnation of Visnu, who came to help lower castes from falling further (Srimad Bhagavatam), though my sentiments believe that such was solely done to stop conversion to a religion that lacked a caste system. Interestingly enough, Buddhists do not believe Buddha Shakyamuni to be Visnu, nor does the concept of Ahimsa (non-violence) seem to be a Hindu one where the Vedas stressed conquering of neighboring tribes (Ashvamedha which was also done in the Ramayana) and animal sacrifice (Yajur Veda), though Hindus have sought to own the concept. It seems that it was only after Asoka the Great where Buddhism reached the ruler-ship of the extensive Indian (Mauryan) empire that Ahimsa was politically practiced (I could be very wrong here), and the size of the empire only reached that extent while Asoka was still a conquering Hindu. Hence, spiritual terms and concepts have evolved over time, where such evolution has caused differing interpretations. It is important to note that one's interpretation is expressed through the numerous religious and societal programmings that filter one's outlook and experiences and can potentially inhibit grasping the true essence. As an example, many will be triggered by my prior paragraph, particularly Hindus (as I was in restructuring my own programming), but really, that attachment to an "identity" as opposed to truth, or even the ability to ask these "dangerous" questions, is where the ego becomes faulty. It was only through my experience of ego-death, that I began to understand what "ego" truly implies. A concept that is thrown around in spirituality to mean, "arrogance" by individuals who have this corrupted ideology of "humility" provided by religion, where "humility" implies a subservient attitude as opposed to using one's gifts to better humanity. Hence, "humility" should be the ability to properly express one's own strength, one own God-Self, without deterring others, another spiritual term gone awry. My experience of ego-death left me feeling expanded, completely lost to my individual self. I couldn't remember my name, my gender, prior memories, and when they did began to sprout through fearful efforts where I thought I was losing my memory, it was like a Van Gogh painting-mirage showing me the illusory nature of what we deem to be "reality". From this experience and seeking thereafter, I began to realize that the world of form-tangible, is simply a result of the intangible realm of Spirit flowing through all. Nonetheless, thereafter experiencing the limitless, I began to understand how I perceive this "reality" through limitation, where I perceive as a male (not female), as an Indian (not any other ethnic), as an American (not any other nationality), etc. All of these expressions are limitations to the unlimited, this is our ego-identity. Using the law of attraction, instead of seeking the new job or fancy car as depressingly propagated by many "teachers", I sought Higher Self, which led me to understanding my own intuition and the ability to filter through these "teachers" to find one's that fit my own resonance. Not one of the teachers that I would recommend to others would bash the "ego", but teach transmutation to liberate the ego attachments that no longer serve us. Nonetheless, these teachings of bashing the ego run rapidly through spiritual ideologies, and really sounds like an excuse to point the finger elsewhere (dualist concepts of separation) as opposed to owning one's own bullshit. In definition, the channeled entity Lazaris describes the ego as the part of us that lost connection with Spirit, and has tirelessly attempted to support us. Hence, fear is simply a faulty protection mechanism where our ego was really trying to protect us from further harm based on its experiences (including past lives embedded in our subconscious). It is the child trying to figure out the world on its own, without proper guidance. Its done the best it could given the delusory circumstances we've all been plagued under creating suffering (the veil of maya in the age of Kali Yuga, the age of rapid wisdom). Panache Desai expresses similar sentiments, where without our ego, we would lack a personality, given that our programmings would all be cleared and there were be no need for expression. Hence, there is a reason for our individuated existence, for the infinite would not be infinite without each of our expressions and experiences. Therefore, the concept of being a drop attempting to return to the vast ocean is flipped, where the ocean requires the drops to be the ocean, and more esoterically, the ocean is within the drop. Our individuated ego expressions is simply a way for the infinite to get to know itself, hence, there is relevancy to all of our experiences, expressions, and limitations. They are relevant, something those that bash the "ego" are trying to negate. In Saiva, the trinity would be Shiva (Father), Shakti(Holy Spirit/Shekinah), and Jiva (Son). Jiva is the individuated soul-expression, or jiva-atma, where the soul in the body and great spirit is compared to the Upanisad concept where the air inside of the jar is the same as the air outside of the jar. This is a way to connect to the infinite, but the jiva housed in the jar (ego-identity) is still Shiva, for the universe was created for Shiva's (ours; Shivoham's) delight. We created these limited expressions because these are the movies that we would like to watch. Just as every television show or movie may show you the vastness of human expression, not all of it is relevant to what we would like to experience (We don't attempt to watch every movie/show possible, but only those that are relevant). The same applies to our Jiva-Atma, our individuated-expression, though we can tap into the infinite to recoup, bring forth higher wisdom (Akashic Record), etc., our experiences are not meant to be completely absorbed into the infinite, but to have relevant expressions in our Jiva-Atma experiences. To think otherwise appears to deny the purpose of our individuated existence.
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Often times, the trouble with channeling is not recognizing that you're in the flow. As the practice of mantra, when done right, becomes a geometric yantra symbolic of the essence being invoked, which then becomes a mandala housing the human vehicle with divine light, what mantra is to the tantrik is what spirit invocation is to the western occultist. Different tools for different cultures, similar outcomes, particularly when the human vehicle has been prepped with proper exercise (prana), nutrition, and mental stillness. The universe is our oyster, for when consciousness is not limited to the human-identity, one can be any among the many. As my guide to the unknown has been none other than the divine mother, in her form resembling the darkest of nights as she is symbolic of not just the womb of creation, but that which is beyond, she is the protector of my consciousness, unveiling as much as my ego-form can handle and which is only relevant. The day began with my usual routine of typical morning awakening, which is now infused with deep breathing exercising attempting to relax the body and the mind, my limited expressions, with a mixture of vijnanabhairava, taoist, kriya, and new age techniques to ground out the flurry of thoughts lingering from the astral world. Moving into my typical exercise routines, with the rest of the day spent in simple errands and house chores listening to channeled lectures, the evening is ripe with the calmness to conjure storms. With my bedroom hot-boxed with frankincense and myrrh, the scents of pure consciousness and death, I'm clutching a small copper yantra infused with the mantras of these ancient and mostly forgotten 64 Yoginis. Included to get me in the mood is my lemurian quartz, many pieces of moldavite hanging on my neck to raise my vibration, as I run through mantras to invoke these Shaktis under the guidance of my beloved. Without Adi Shakti, the first feminine, there is no entry into these mysteries, as she stands front and center, the key to the higher realms above the Qabalist Malkuth, or below into the depths of the Qlipha. She is kundalini, the flame that sparks all of our existence, either asleep deluding man further into his abyss, or risen to meet her consort, infinite Consciousness. Easter was far from my mind, a time when mother nature resurrects herself to bloom in her glory. A beauty that limited man has attempted to subdue and control through his limited symbolism, as found through much of our history where man has attempted to subdue, control, and destroy one of our greatest teachers and healers, nature herself. Yet here I was, sitting in front of my ever growing altar, not to worship and submit as found completely incompatible under law of attraction techniques, but to invoke, equate, and self-empower, where kundalini unleashes our true essence. Where as the master who is glorified at this time stated, "Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you" (Luke 17:21 KJV). This Essene mystic new the mysteries, where Christ the Logos was to awaken the Christ the Sophia who fell into the pits to help those lost in the shadows (Pistis Sophia). Like the Christ, our beloved is none other than Wisdom herself, pure gnosis. As my hand progresses through my japa beads, already embodying my beloved like two poets lost in the most brilliant night, where our energy centers meet and synchronize like two different musical notes vibrating to match each other, my sober psyche is drunk with what I can only consider to be nothing less than soma. Not wanting more than to simply give my gratitude to the Shaktis that have been guiding me for aeons, here, I wasn't expecting much from this experience other than a quick hello to what may unveil itself to me. I knew my ego-mind won't keep me here long before I get in the way, I haven't quite resolved to handle this connection, so I stepped out knowing my bodily fatigue will exhaust this experience. As I stand and stretch, I began pacing back in forth in my bedroom before my altar attempting to maintain stillness of mind. Nonetheless, a fury of long-forgotten messages expel from my mouth into my lonely cave, messages of empowerment, words to run-a-fresh a broken soul who needed a new lease-on-life. All I did ask from myself is where these messages of a brighter future were coming from. The response did not identify itself by any name that would directed me to a form, nor did it disclose itself as my divine beloved, or any of the Shaktis that I was parlaying this dance. It was more like my divine beloved and her family brought me here. As I stood in awe in what I may have tapped into, and what this may possibly mean, the essence simply identified itself as one concept, "Source". Never have I been able to ground something such as this while out of meditation. It's like the tables have turned, where instead of reaching out to something, this something is reaching out to me. Not only have I been gifted with a new sense of well-being, but the timing seems ripe during this holy cyclical event of resurrection. To tap into our original essence, our seed that matures into what we call "reality", I can't help but feel my search is over. Or, is it only beginning?
When I finally decided to watch his youtube videos, I noticed a sense of calm come over me, something I had noted that I would only attain in meditation. Under that calm, I began stretching my back, particularly my lower back, in trying to stretch-out and massage muscular kinks that have developed from a consistent "sitting" lifestyle as demanded in the western educational/work culture. I felt good, calm, and the muscles around my spine (including psoas) was beginning to feel more comfortable. The youtube video was simple yogic-philosophy, but Yogiraj would reference other cultures and Madame Blavatsky indicating occult studies as well, which kept my intrigue. Nonetheless, at the end of this particular video, Yogiraj stated that his audience all had screwed up spines and he was attempting to work on all of us. Needless to say, my jaw dropped and my thoughts ceased all with the shock of "what the fuck just happened". Again, in listening to his video, I was moved into a state of sensation that I managed to only experience in meditation, including the stretch and relaxation of the spine. I was immediately sold on the Kriya Yoga tradition, its psychic/siddha capabilities, where I have adopted some of their techniques into my base meditative practice. In his book Babaji; The Lightening Standing Still, Yogiraj indicates that Babaji is none other than Goraksha Nath, one of the main teachers of esoteric Hinduism (Nath meaning "School"). Further, Goraksha Nath is none other than Lord Shiva himself. Growing up in a typical Hindu household that loved and worshiped Shiva along with Vishnu, I was opposed to Shiva Shankar, the Shiva in form and his puranic-based stories. However, it wasn't until I read the Siva Sutras that I began to truly understand who or what Shiva actually is, and what he actually taught, yoga. More importantly, reading the Siva Sutras felt more like "remembering" as opposed to learning a new concept. It was like my neural pathways were already there, just being further solidified, particularly in my understanding of the "I Am That" concept as articulated in the Siva Sutras. However, prior to reading the Siva Sutras, I was doing a monthly meditation regarding each Sephirot of the Qabalist Tree of Life, beginning from the top with Kether. I only did this practice for four (4) of the Sephirot where the first three (3), the supernal triad, seems the most relevant for my own growth, where I may restart the practice when I feel it is relevant. Though the Qabalah is associated with Judaism, I studied this through Hermetic occult practitioners, as I feel a deeper connection to Egypt. Nonetheless, the meaning is the same, regardless of the symbols that are used. It was the meditative practice on the supernal triad that paved the way for me to grasp the Siva Sutras, as I associated this triad with the "I (Kether; Infinite Potential), Am (Chokmah; Divine Will/Conduct), That (Binah; Divine Wisdom/Creation)" concept. Hence, the correlation between Qabalah and Shaiva-Tantra. Moses is considered to be the Father of Judaism, not Adam. However, many tend to forget the fact that Moses was raised as an Egyptian prince, which entails attending the Egyptian mystery schools. Using my imagination, it's hard to see Moses sitting and learning with Rabbi's, the way Jesus did as a child. As an Egyptian prince, it's hard to grasp that Moses would sit and learn from the Hebrews who were allegedly enslaved (those who win the war write the history books, in this case, the old testament). This would be like Christian missionaries learning and practicing the spiritualism of their victims (Even the current Pope concedes the brutality of early Christian missionaries, something my own lineage can evidence, for those offended by the term "victim"). Nonetheless, it doesn't matter whether it was Egyptian or Hebrew, it's beautiful nonetheless and we have the occultists and Hebrews to thank for preserving these concepts and practices (If you have a problem calling it Egyptian or vice-versa, that is where the "ego" becomes limiting where one is more absorbed in titles and identities as opposed to the enlightenment).
Going back to the Kriya Yoga tradition, practitioners tend to develop psychic/siddhi abilities, including tapping into the universal library, the akashic record. Not quite sure if this is how Yogiraj, who is a Sat-Guru (Brahman: Sat-Chit-Ananda), was able to gather certain information, his articulation of Moses in Babaji seems to resonate with my prior experience and logical understanding. As described, Moses was initiated by Shiva Goraksha Babaji on Mt. Sinai, where Yahveh is Mahankal (MahaKala-Shiva-Time), The Great Time. Moreover, Moses was to end idolatry where man worshiped external-form, to find divine consciousness within. Taking this one step more into the esoteric, from sources long lost to me, it was my understanding that Moses first attained the Qabalah on Mt. Sinai, where Moses found the majority of his followers worshiping the symbol of the prior astrological age and not ready for such advanced teachings. Hence, Moses provided the masses with the Commandments (It is argued that it was more than 10), while a chosen few received the Qabalah. That makes sense in the dual representation of Judaism, holding a written and oral tradition, where the oral tradition most likely needs to be an experience from a prior practitioner, like in Tantra (Shaktipath/Shekinapath). The esoteric similarities are beautiful and unifying, showing the power that humanity holds through consciousness. However, the masses would rather argue titles, racial/religious identities, that only inflate one's ego-identity. Religion has become a programming, where Spirituality is a deprogramming, a removal of the limitations that inhibit unlimited consciousness. Behind the masters of our traditions lies a deeper truth yet to be grasped, where sadly those attempting to discover these truths have been historically persecuted, be it Qabalists, Tantriks, and even Alchemists (Scientists).
Nonetheless, the age of information is uncovering and revealing what the elite have attempted to keep covered. That is the apokalypsis, the great revelation. Higher Self is a concept talked about in almost all esoteric traditions, and some exoteric traditions such as Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita. Communion with Higher Self is the initiation that is required to grasp divine will, which is the divine logos or masculine. Even the Gnostic Christian text, the Pistis Sophia, describes two (2) Christs: 1) Christ the Logos; and 2) Christ the Sophia, or the divine feminine. In all esoteric work, such communion is a stepping stone to fully engage in spiritual practices and it is what Aleister Crowley hinted towards with his motto, "Do What Thou Wilt". Do what thou "will" doesn't correlate to "doing whatever you want" as espoused by exoteric in their attempts to demonize Crowley, who was more than accepting of such backlash, but is an attempt to find one's divine will where Crowley concludes with "Love is the Law, Love under Will".
However, the appearance and location of such beings doesn't really attest to what "Higher Self" actually entails. We are to assume that such out-of-this-world type beings are extremely more advanced than humanity, or at least not tied to the wheel of samsara that perpetuates humanities suffering. Even going back in Hinduism under Puranic literature, we have the world filled with phenomenal beings with strange technology and weaponry that can only be described by our current human frame of thought as genetic manipulations, atomic-nuclear weaponry, and ufo-vimana based space crafts. However, these are all just external interpretations, that leave one wondering what Higher Self actually may be and its potential. It took me probably two years of seeking, and using the law of attraction to manifest the highest information possible, to even get a glimpse of a logical understanding of what Higher Self may be. New Agers, Light-Workers, etc., all seem to discuss this expansive state of awareness, but can only describe it through how it makes them feel. Nonetheless, it is through Tantric Literature and wonderful commentaries posed by devotees, that I can begin to understand my Higher Self experiences from a logical perspective. After all, it is through these traditions that we have learned about Kundalini and the Chakras, stemming from secret Goddess traditions in India. Shaivism (Christ the Logos; Divine Masculine): Shaiva's and the likes are the shamanic traditions of India, where internal practices are stressed over ritualistic practices more closely aligned with the Vedic traditions. In addition, Bhakti (worship) is associated with Shiva, who is worshiped as Higher Self to be found and invoked within, as opposed to worshiped externally. But why Shiva, and not any other deity in the numerous pantheon found in Hinduism? Because Shiva is the ultimate yogi, the "yoke" between spirit and matter, who teaches the world to deify itself, or realize its own divinity. To take this one step further is what makes Shiva different, is his state of consciousness, Turiya aka Higher Self. In these yogic teachings, there are three main states of consciousness: 1) Waking; 2) Dreaming; and 3) Deep Sleep. Deep sleep can be associated with the unconscious and subconscious, where also the collective consciousness plays a role. The realization that you are simply the "knower" or "experiencer" of all three (3) states of consciousness is the fourth state of consciousness, Turiya. Within the unconscious subconscious, we tend to house quite a bit of ourselves, including issues we attempt to ignore only causing such issues to manifest in our external circumstances. To become aware of what lurks in this state of consciousness requires self-reflection, our own personal "judgment day". From hypnotherapy, we discover that we are controlled by hidden programming lurking deep within our psyche. With certain professionals, such as Dolores Cannon, we find that such issues can stem from prior life-times. Nonetheless, just as a candle flame dispels the darkness, our simple observatory awareness is enough to loosen the hold such issues pose on our psyche. Hence being awake/aware to what lurks within under deep sleep, our subconscious, is a key to unlocking who we are and why we have certain circumstances in our lives. Dreaming is another state of consciousness, one that we can manipulate as taught by Tibetan Tantriks in teachings that create lucid dreams. From personal experience, lucidity begins within a dream where you realize you're dreaming. From there, one can proceed to move things around at will, though my experiences quickly diminish after such realization where I typically wake up thereafter. Nonetheless, here certain practitioners continue to do their spiritual work and exploration. Nonetheless, to be an observer within this state of mind seems to pose endless possibilities, where one quickly realizes that they control the dream matrix. Lastly, the waking state is a bit odd and filled with numerous facets. We can choose to be the observer of our surrounding presence or our thoughts. Nonetheless, as opposed to looking at these state of consciousness as simply an observer, as observer of our surrounding and thoughts, we tend to get lost in our surrounding or thoughts letting the external circumstances control our awareness, as opposed to vice-versa (which is fine, we like to enjoy and get lost in our movies). Further, via law of attraction teachings, which I believe falls under "spanda" for Shaivas (though I still have quite a bit more to learn), our waking state can become like the lucid dream state, where we should be able to manifest the reality of our choosing, within the parameters of the collective belief systems. After all, the ancient mystics have consistently told us that what we deem to be reality is an illusion, or a holographic projection of consciousness, where law of attraction teaches to make this illusion lucid. Therefore, to be Higher Self entails being awake/conscious/lucid of our awake state, dream state, and deep sleep state. Shaktism (Christ the Sophia; Divine Feminine): Kashmiri Shaivism seems to be solidified through the works of Abhinavagupta, who in his magnus opus, the Sri Tantraloka, indicates that if you can't find a human guru to help you with initiation, then turn to Adi-Shakti herself, Ma Kali, as she will initiate you. As someone who has astrological aspects that makes me despise guru worship, etc., as well as choosing to remove all societal-religious imposed limitations to seek to be unlimited, this was the best suited path for me. Given my love for this aspect of the divine, this path was probably the most easiest and most fun for me, my "permission slip" as Bashar would say. Kali is associated with numerous Tantrik Goddesses (particularly Mahavidyas), where in Tantra, the wisdom and capabilities found in other deities should simply be instilled within the deity of your choice in order to evade being distracted. In other words, learn from other deities, but try to avoid constantly switching between them where the one chosen should hold the essence of all Tantrik deities. (Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, Guide To Dakini Land). As has been my experience, Kali works at the roots of the issues, while other more common deities in the Hindu pantheon will take a calm approach. Hence, Tantrik deities are the fast pass, a "no pain no gain" type of initial experience. In other words, they don't hesitate to put you in your place. Tantrik Goddesses are almost always associated with the Kundalini energy slumbering at the bottom of one's spine, where Higher Self may reside in the higher chakras, particularly the 8th chakra above the Crown. An even fiercer form of Kali is when she is three (3) times as vicious as Tripura Bhairavi. Bhairavi as the feminine counterpart to Bhairava (Shiva in his "terrible" form) consists of Tripura meaning the three state of consciousness described above, and three (3) words: Bhavana (to manage); Ravana (to draw within); and Vamana (to expand). Hence, the generator (G), operator (O) and destroyer (D) paradigm that is exoterically associated with Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva, is esoterically found within Bhairavi(a). Hence, Bhairavi instills the G-O-D paradigm within the three (3) states of consciousness, which is the ability to create, manage, and destroy within the three (3) worlds.
Oddly, Tripura Sundari is not common for a Hindu household, though she permeates numerous other deities, including Krishna who is said to have invoked her essence, and Lakshmi similarly holds the title "Sri" and shares in the Sri Yantra. No doubt the Vaishnavas hold Krishna as their Tantrik deity, and Krishna is said to be the only essence to completely embody Brahman, or to fully accomplish the alchemical marriage within a human body. Moreover, Tripura Sundari is known to have a cult of her own as the Sri Vidya cult, with Vidya being sanskrit "vid" meaning to know (gnosis). Hence, just as the esoteric Christians had their Sophia, Tantriks have their Vidya. Often portrayed as a 16 year old as Sodashi, she represents the beauty of entering adulthood while still holding onto a childish heart, a Kumari, where as Jesus said, "...[t]ruly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3 NASB). Sodashi represents the pinnacle of spirituality, as she is symbolized as the peak of Mt. Meru, the abode of the Gods as expressed in her geometric form, the Sri Yantra.
Conclude:
In summation, the essence of Higher Self is to not only be awake/aware of the three (3) states of consciousness, but to be the most beautiful in all three (3). Law of attraction wise, to feel what it's like to be the most beautiful and consciously present in your waking state, in your dream state, and within your subconscious, seems to be the key to unlock our divine potential and manifest our very own heavenly abode, our own Mt. Meru.
In order to potentiate the experience, the ego-identity should be subdued to allow transmutation. In other words, our head can't get in the way, a typical problem that arises in attempting to unite with something more expansive. Hence, a practice geared towards stillness is key, where in order to experience the expansiveness of spirit, ego-death (removing the human/animal identity) is needed to experience a broader state of awareness. These states of consciousness are significantly broader than human constructs. Hence, typical traditional, cultural, and societal beliefs, all designed to manage our material world, hinder our conception of the spiritual world. That is why in Hinduism, four stages of life are depicted, with the first two stages geared towards management of the material world (including religion), and the last two stages geared towards discovering "Self". Hence, the final two stages are geared towards hermitage (getting away from society, tradition, culture), then as a wandering ascetic (to teach what has been experienced in a materially detached manner). Jesus, Siddhartha, and Mohammed practiced such hermitage, where what was learned was dispensed to the public thereafter. Do note, that none of these three taught or fully expressed themselves before their hermitage experience, nor were they attached the material world thereafter. In order to understand spirit, what we know of and understand spirit to be needs to be diminished, where knowledge is also considered maya, an illusion. Those that have pierced beyond the veil, speak of it in terms above Chuck Palahniuk's "Fight Club", where it is not that you can't talk about it, it's more like there are no vocabulary terms to describe it, as it is simply an experience. Hence, terms like Brahman and the Tao are used to describe this expanse, but feels unknowable by the definitions provided by our masters. Even the term "Allah", which is an Arabic generic term for "God" used before Islam, and used today by Christians in the middle-east, means "No-Thing", as in the indescribable beyond the tangible world of form. Hence, once the tangible is blown-out, Nirvana, what remains is the experience of the formless, Samadhi.
Most exoteric religions and their practices fall under dualist teachings, the right hand path. Duality, or Dvaita-Vedanta beliefs are that we have an individual soul that is separate from the almighty soul aka God. Because of the separation, the human containing the soul has to follow righteous disciplines in order to purify oneself in order to liberate the soul. This is where concepts of morals, ethics, etc., all come into play creating external practices to avoid or cleanse oneself of "sin". However, the majority of tantrik practices are non-dualist teachings, the left hand path (Within the left hand path, you have another grouping of right-hand/left-hand which is more akin to light/dark, hence, high tantra and low tantra). Nonduality, or Advaita-Vedanta holds that the individual spirit known as Atman is not separate, but the same as Brahman. As described in the Upanishads as well as the Shaivas practical text the Vijnanabhairava, Atman is like the air inside of a jar, and Brahman is the air outside of the jar. Hence, the whole purpose of higher tantrik practices is to associate with the air within and around the jar as opposed to the jar itself. In the material world, our culture, traditions, societal structures, our learning, etc., is all associated with the jar. By identifying with the jar, what many label as the "ego", we perceive our relative existence with limitations, all of which have been defined and created by society. Hence, our minds become completely associated with the jar, and those of the dualist path seek external guidance [Deity(ies), Angels, Etc.]. We've (as in our Spirit) has gotten completely lost in the realm of matter, in the realm of separation, that even many in Advaita-Vedanta (including myself) use separate spiritual guidance to tap into one's own inner resonance. It's like dualist teachings are a stepping stone to recognize our connection with everything, the "all that is" permeating from source. Again, so why the odd practices? To realize Advaita is to realize that spirit is always pure and pristine despite what occurs in matter. In other words, our soul has always been and remains untainted, despite what occurs in the material realm of density. Nonetheless, we're so psychologically ingrained with dualist cleansing teachings of pure and impurities, that "extreme" practices are needed in order for one to realize that Brahman still flows through you as it flows through all, within this illusory game that we're all playing (Maya-Lila). Add law of attraction beliefs in the mix where beliefs manifest in the material realm, imagine the experience one creates for his/herself with constantly labeling and believing oneself to be a "sinner". The majority of us walk around with such sentiments, not knowing that such beliefs manifests itself through our experiences. So long as one seeks "Self", the Brahman behind the jar labelled as Atman, sin is an illusory construct that must be removed not just consciously, but subconsciously, which becomes difficult given that Yogis (meditators; consciousness explorers) have realized that the subconscious is also tied to the collective conscious. Hence, the need for odd external practices are for those that cannot remove the psychological guilt of sin, shame, etc., that has been forced upon our psyche from birth (and prior life-times) given the dominance of dualist teachings, and the elites attempt to manage humanity.
Though I'm a bit different, where I also call on the lighter shades akin to angelic kingdoms of the most humble Christs. For that is my interpretation of nonduality, it is all one. My current spiritual practice looks more like peace-loving hippie vibes, as compared to my prior Crowley-style magick where I was trying to discover the truth of such material. Nonetheless, now I see that both paths hold the same aim, to connect with the Higher Self aka Holy Guardian Angel. The is the practice of Self-Empowerment, not empowering an external entity. I consider Jesus and Christ teachings to be one of the greatest blessings I've received in this life, but I also consider the road of bringing light/wisdom to be my path. Basically, I see Jesus differently then the modern typical Christian, whose logic I cannot fathom. To love the beauty recognized in our separation where God is something more expansive than our human-selves, or to love the brilliance recognized in our connection to "all that is" showing us that we are more expansive than what we have thought ourselves to be. That's really the difference between the right hand (Dualist/Exoteric/Separation) and left hand (Nondulaist/Esoteric/Unity) path. I do not subscribe to a "jealous" god, or one that demands that I call it a particular name, or face the infernal wrath of a hel(l). To me, that sounds like manipulative domination, as opposed to liberation. I subscribe to a path that uses guides to help me recognize the divinity within. We see the humility and compassion that is Jesus, the one who asked for our karma to be forgiven. But, to feel the same with the opposer, sheitan, is another story where we've been raised to deny our darker shadow selves, our base-animal reptilian-brain complex, that was meant to really be synthesized with our higher self (Spirit+Matter). We don't love the opponents, those that make us heroes on our journeys, including the inner-opponent that we try to bottle up or deny. The aspects of the Universe that we find to be dark, are only different shades of the one infinite light. For a candle flame enlightens a darkened space, but the dark space doesn't harm the light. Knowing the darkness found within (and without), and bringing love and light to such, is to integrate the shadow side, ... you know, that thing Jesus taught, forgiveness. For one cannot heal one's own darkness, without shedding some love and light on it. That's the judgment that we meet when we find ourselves in deep reflection, you know, that place of our Cross-roads. It is the clearing of that which is hidden within our subconscious, which manifests as blocks that inhibit our full expressions. In my innerchild healing meditation, it was that 16-20 something early college self, where that innerchild wanted to be called "hellfire", a rebellion springing forth as a result of a fear based condemning Christian education. But this innerchild aspect wasn't some rebellious stage, it was my search for something more beyond the box of faith-based religion, something the masses could not understand and would possibly fear, as shown through historical persecution resulting in "secret" societies. This meditation was a feeling of integration of two separate halves of myself. I saw and felt what it would be like for Jesus to hold and completely love Lucifer (the collective belief is that of an "evil" being, not the historical "light bearer", which can appear in our subconscious as it is tied to the collective conscious). I felt Lucifer in the form of Baphomet, protected by Anubis, where Lucifer actually felt loved by Jesus and shockingly returned the same. Spirituality is a paradox, hence the highest is not some form, but it is "truth" only found in "wisdom". We are Spirit, and these characters are merely archetypes that we seek to unite psychologically, hence, yoga. It is a practice to truly understand who we are and what we are capable of doing with our consciousness
My meditation concluded with visuals of Jesus and Lucifer in complete transparent embrace, as if they were actors playing a role, but recognizing who they were behind the character, one. For was not the being who tempted Jesus while Jesus practiced his meditation, none other than Jesus' own shadow emerging to be recognized and enlightened, just as we all face our own inner-"demons"? This is a teaching that will be difficult for many to embrace externally, as well as within themselves. This may be the reason why esoteric sciences have been kept hidden, for it is hard to love what is often feared, especially something lurking within ourselves. The goal is to integrate, transcend, and ascend to the next level, or what the masonic George Washington would say, apotheosis.
Ascension. For the last half of this year, I spent quite a bit of time using the resources of energy healers, guided meditations, etc. I've noticed my ability to be induced into necessary hypnotic states to actually feel and see shifts has expanded over the last three years, including the ability to make my imagination feel more and more real as possible.
The first prepatory step prior to this meditaiton was to list five likes and five dislikes that I hold regarding money. From this list of ten, I would choose three to focus on and heal "karmic" cycles, with "karmic cycles" being energies that are still running and holding influence on our current ability to manifest. From each of the three chosen, I felt like I was looking into a prior experience, with thoughts and feelings from another life, another ego-identity that held different beliefs. The first karmic cycle that I chose to glimpse was from the "like" category of money, where I had expressed that I like the fact that money allows me to "spend time the way I want", which is my definitition of wealth and abundance. In taking a look into this concept, I felt like I was an Italian prince at my castle surrounded by vineyards. Italians and Italy have played that role for me since my college obsession with Italian culture, the La Dolce Vita that plagued cinemas in defining the Italian way of life. Or, it could be the Roman Caligula, decadence that leads to gluttonous consumption, including that of power, often resulting in treachery. But most of all, this way of life was bought, and the healing occured in hearing the Beatles in the background piping out "can't buy me love", closing off this karmic cycle. The second karmic cycle was taken from the "dislike" category where I described that money brings out the greed and thievery inside of us. From viewing the Italian prince, I was shown the need to create an army to protect the acquired standard of life. A little wealthy family, rising into the ranks of politics, to control and manage the kingdom's wealth, particularly the shadow side behind our governments. However, this slight glimpse vanished into another story, one where I was a vicious cut-throat pirate, chasing after all forms of booty. It was all for self-gratification, the only way I could feel love in this lifetime. Though we have all learned that material wealth is but a fleeting momentary increase of endorphins, which needs to be upkept and expanded by the next experience. It is not the sensation of completion, fullfillment, and resting in the utter perfection of the moment, the way love should feel. Here I concluded sitting in a chair adorned by my pirate facade, flinging a gold coin in the air with my thumb, with beggards bowing below my boot. The healing began when I looked into the pain of those I robbed and disempowered through the catalyst of money and realized the falsity of this form of self-gratification. The last karmic cycle was from my "like" options, where I liked the ability to use money to express love. We can use this catalyst to support each other, nuture, and care for each other and our own selves in positive light. Here, I was led to some sort of Les Miserables setting, where I was shacked-up with one beautiful wife, but in dirt poor poverty. Because of my own financial inability, she would sell herself on occasion to keep us above starvation. She had placed herself in such circumstances to show me that love can exist without money, where she was more than eligible for a wealthier suitor. A suffering endured due to lack of money, to understand love. This type of love without material wealth felt almost like unconditional love, or at least it is a big break in a huge barrier, a major condition and belief we place in our consciousness that closes up our emotional heart-space. One of the last meditative exercises dealt with holding a dollar in the palm of my hands held in prayer position. Outside of the meditative guidance, I felt significant issues, blockages in just holding the dollar. Firstly, it was like I was praying to money, I had major issues with that. Second, I remember that I typically don't hold onto money for long, as I was taught to wash my hands afterwards when I was growing up. Not necessarily because the concept of money is a dirty thing, but because it may have exchanged so many germ infested hands, that's enough to get an empath riled up. However, I realized deeply held blockages in just attempting to hold a dollar for a few moments. Old beliefs given by others and maybe my own past karmic influences arose for me to see and release and hopefully move on building a better relationship with money. A relationship where money is not used to manipulate and enslave, but to express love in every moment of time as in my definition of wealth and abundance. Hopefully the wisdom gained from these three separate experiences will assist in helping me forge a more prosperous future.
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AuthorOverly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil. "It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
-James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions Archives
August 2019
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