Uma Tiamat and Advaita Vedanta
I'm still new to Tiamat and "dragon" energy, and am mostly trusting my own impulses in moving forward until I can find proper teachings. As a bhakta of Kali, opening myself to the stretch of Tiamat was like resting in the arms of Mataji herself. Like a deep cleansing breath, but one that reaches into nervous crevices bringing out what lurks beneath. Incredibly beatific, but not without its psychological issues.
When it comes to "darker" materials, I can easily throw myself into Eastern traditions as it all ends with Shiva-Shakti. To be clear, my invocations are to invoke Shaktis for Chakra-Aura cleansing/balancing, kundalini, and to assist in reaching the samadhi state. I'm not attempting to entangle myself further in samsara, with practices I feel I do not understand. I think it may be my curiosity of the odd that pushes me. Compared to Eastern, I'm much more intimidated by the "darker" Western traditions (Abrahamic), as I further explore areas only I feel in common with the beloved Mother (which I'm finding, still is all of it). Lilith works similarly to Kali, though Smashan Kali may go towards root chakra dealing with fear and death issues, I feel Lilith rocks the sacral. Growing up in a protestant educational system, where I never questioned the existence of Jesus, but would make philosophical comparisons, I realize I adopted many of the puritanical colorings relating to sexual, creative areas, as well as self-sacrifice martyrdom. Not to complain, I see the purpose of these experiences in my search of wisdom. Just a warning for those with similar conditioning who choose these practices, particularly with Lilith whose "collective consciousness" conditioning will release the depths of the subconscious having us face what darkness, including fantasies, buried deep within our own selves.
It is important that the adept not take such energies and psychological images raised, as "personal" during and post such invocations, where the goal is to release and flush the central nervous system to return to the clarity of one's "presence". To be within the body, fully mindful of one's awareness of the moment, where the psychological baggage of tomorrows/yesteryears is flushed, brings a blissful stillness, allowing the adept to further move with the flow of life despite the monkey-mind. Personally, I always have a "form" of Kali with me when working with any ritual, who, like Bhairavi, will assist with my breath work to make sure my form and cranium are properly oxygenated. Further, should one have a bad "trip", breath work appears to be the perfect fix. Lilith seems to be protective and loving, like my Kali. But Lilith seems to also unleash a bit more, most likely because of the collective conditioning created by current understandings of Lilith. As an empath, I've also realized that what is raised, is not always mine not having much emotional coloring with a feeling of "that doesn't look like something I have an issue with".
Tiamat has held my interest for some time, with certain syncronistic moments making it quite clear that she would hold some value for my work (which I'm still discovering). With the same personal ethical standards in approaching any practices, I do not make oaths (or contracts), unless it is harmonious (better humanity, bleh bleh). I find, if an entity does not want to assist in the path of Self-Realization on their own, best not to work with them. At least for now. Tiamat also comes with her Demon-Gods (demons as they were the primal ones overthrown by the newer generation). Tiamat is simply energy, the Demon-Gods raise issues and blessings ranging from sexual to power. In these practices, one must realize that these are simply colorings for us to use within moments of our lives, where such colorings mixed with shades of compassion can bring about a certain eloquence, allowing the adept to freely express their own truth. Given that my tangible life appears to be going through a "tower" moment, I decided to dive into Tiamat and her lore where I really do not mind drastic shifts and changes.
Blood is normally required. As shown in modern "ghost" shows, where an entity may need to drain energy from a battery source to provide some sort of tangible manifestation, Tiamat's crew require sustenance. I did not offer blood, however, I was drained of something I can only label "vital energy", as I felt slight but noticeable weakening, which continued until I required rest afterwards. Filled with their essence, I felt the hunger and thirst for crude sexual gratification. Power was not as intimidating, as I'm not really competitive in nature, where the energy of power was extremely helpful in helping me establish personal boundaries. Nonetheless, the time that I chose to invoke Tiamat and her companions, was also when I was deeply engrossed in practicing Advaita, following Bentinho Massaro's techniques and Mooji's 2019 Rishikesh Satsang. So when these energies arose, I really was just "present" to them, where I would have Mooji's silent meditation bring me out of personhood leaving a harmonizing effect of such energies on my psyche.
Mooji's 2019 Rishikesh Satsang was phenomenal, or should I say "noumenal", returning his audience to Samadhi almost on a daily basis. While my "personhood" would feel the throws of the Tiamat energies, Mooji would bring us to "presence", with simply Advaita based self-inquiry. From this experience, I felt the obvious discernment between the "I Am-Presence" and "Ego-Personhood", where my own ego was even called out by Mooji, when I felt an arrogance of "knowing" more about Advaita than Mooji. Such triggers pull one out of the moment, and leave the monkey-mind to throw its fits. Hence, I also now realize why Guru is necessary, to make sure one finishes the job of coming from "presence" as opposed to "personhood". Though Guru's may no longer be necessary in the Age of Aquarius (freedom) as compared to the Age of Pisces (mystery), it's because of people like Mooji, who hold the capability of pushing the adept to look deeper into the clarity of the moment instead of the mind tricks. As a result, Advaita masters typically have many holding animosity as egoic issues are triggered, where adepts tend to project their wants and mental understandings of spirituality as opposed to self-inquiry. Advaita by far is the purest form of spiritual practice, teachings of self-inquiry cannot be refuted as they are not really teachings but reflections that unveil "presence", so the actions of an individual flowing with their harmony becomes the subject of criticism of conditioned minds. Ego will throw a tantrum before a Master as personhood is unveiled for the blissful moment.
These practices have resulted in significant mental clearing. The monkey-mind seems much clearer in the morning, where upon waking, my head would normally be in the throws of chatter. With the monkey-mind subdued, it is much easier to linger in "presence" and what simply "is", as opposed to bringing one's personal identity and story into the mix. The moment appears with a heavenly calm, as an observer entering a video game for the first time, excited and curious about the senses surroundings. In addition, physical muscular tension around the spinal column are released, which is common for me in doing chakra based practices. Hence, I feel emotionally, psychologically, and physically lighter, where Tiamat's energies feel quite loving though still intense.
Nonetheless, I'm still in the process of navigating between "personhood" and "presence" as I navigate my phenomenal existence, where I'm learning to trust the moment as well as my own guidance, as I oscillate between the observer and the one playing within what is observed. "To be in this world, but not of it". Currently, my "personhood" may be really worrying about the future, but "presence" is bringing me back to faith and the resulting bliss is much better than being in "personhood". This isn't easy all the time, though the seeds of "presence" have been sowed, or I should confidently say watered. My "personhood" is quite curious as to its continued fruition, whereas, "presence" just "is", it really is the state of not metaphorically giving fecal matter.
Why would someone invoke Tiamat? She is the Sky and Earth, with her slain consort, the blood of humanity, according to the Mesopotamians. This was our primal unified selves, before the "fall of man". She would be the potency of our true self beneath the monkey-mind conditioning. She would be kundalini unleashing all-conditioning to allow for our true-self.
Overly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil.
"It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
-James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions