I grew up in a harsh Protestant Elementary, where we learned of ancient Christian martyrs who would blindly/faithly die for their god, where it was necessary to build a Christian "Calvary". All was such for the sake of attaining a heaven, and mostly to deter away from the greatest fear of all, a Christian ideology mostly crafted 1,000 years after Jesus, known as Hell. This is the same ideology that has globally spread with a Bible in one hand, and a gun in the other, in order to not only spiritually (psychologically; consciousness) control a flock, but politically as well, as Religion has always been a political institution. I really did grow up looking at other minorities like, "why do you worship the slave masters' god?". Christians have to look to ancient times for their martyrs! I don't have to look very far in my own bloodline to see the Devil that has been Christianity. And of course, the current Pope got some "flack" for comparing Muslim conversion tactics to the early Christians, as Christians continue to be blind of their own karma, and bling of their own god post the Dead Sea/Nag Hammadi Texts. Moreover, there is a gorgeous Buddhist Temple near where I currently live, that in their early days had to remove the Swastikas from their front gates as it offended the neighboring Jewish community (If what I've been told is correct). If that's the case, then how about we remove one of the biggest symbols of slavery, the symbol that makes a group think they're better as their god and legal-dogma is the only correct one, the Christian Cross. Nonetheless, like good Buddhists, the Temple provided no rebuttal and completely agreed with the community. Hence, the need to continually put my own little self in check.
It was 6th grade, Bible class with one of the most amazing loving individuals as a teacher, but also most fanatical. This was a school, where the teachers' resumes must be to a Protestant standard. Such was drastically different from my Catholic High School, where we had even had a Muslim teacher. The setting was a debate on abortion, and be wary, you are only allowed to venture within certain perspectives within these organizations, unless you prefer the Salem witch trials. Everyone falls under pro-life where pro-choice arguments are only valid when the mother's life is at risk. The only other option is to give the child up for adoption. However, this one day, this girl had the guts to push the conversation further and ask, "what about when the girl is raped, I think the girl should be able to have an abortion". As a 6th grader who barely found out what abortion was (traditional Indian parents don't talk to their kids or will have a wildly out-dated and different-cultural perspective), I had to sit and linger for awhile and hear what others had to say. But as I had already learned from being in this Western school and being raised in an Eastern home, that I had to constantly question everything, every doctrine, every argument, as I was torn between two (2) different cultures and ways of looking at life. So this brave little girl was a gem to me, a new fresh perspective, where she described the emotions that the female would have to go through in coming to that decision and the ensuing psychological damage from the numerous potential options that were provided to the female. This argument was too far for this group, as the spirit considered to be in the fetus is superior to the psychological (and financial) developments as an aftermath. These were all Republicans, who only want to help the impoverished and needy if it's done by and through their organization (so they can push their agenda), all the while attempting to get every tax break possible. Secular country my ass! Truth is in dissecting these conditioned belief systems, where the truth here is, the baby needs to worship Jesus before it dies, or it goes to Christian "Hell". Forget an imaginary hell, that poor girl was put through hell, by "judge not lest ye be judged" people. I couldn't stick up for her, as I was still processing everything, and also hiding my token deity under my shirt whose holding a pitchfork with a snake around his neck. I understood this girl's emotions in trying to have her voice heard, where I noted others only empathically-felt for her only after discovering the following day that this girl was describing her older sister. This memory is probably a long lost memory, a little bump on the road for the bigger missionary agenda, for most of my colleagues in this classroom. For me, this girl's voice, and more so, her emotions, will never be forgotten, as I now comfortably begin to champion The Adversary current that has always flowed through me. My own Beast.
As Dr. Ol Doinyo Laetoli le Baaba (Kali Baaba) was a long-time family friend and guide to many of my relatives, our heroes were not the Martin Luther King, Jrs., who preached to the masses and yet led a shitty personal life. Our heroes were Malcolm X and Black Elk Speaks (Gandhi pushed it too far for some of his practices for me), excellent case studies for adepts to evolve both spiritually and materially. The words of brother Louis Farrakhan would also bless our home. While the Bible Belt Republicans all blame the government, I've seen Louis Farrakhan stick up to these leaders with the intent of at what point are you going to learn not to trust these "White-Devils". Yep, I grew up hearing the "White-Man is the Devil" on one side and a Christian "Calvary" on the other. Nonetheless, I understand what the Roman Constantine did when he combined the archonic Old Testament god (spiteful, jealous god that was blowing everything up in opposition) with the adept-Master New Testament guy (peaceful turn the other cheek). Hence, you have blonde-haired, blue-eyed, gun-toting (not judging guns here) Jesus, and an extremely judgmental religion. Judgment is to use discernment for the truth, or rather "to judge", not punitive damages (hell). Louis Farrakhan has been the main leader, the pioneer in what I've seen, in pushing forward in self-sufficiency, not just for the Black community, but for all Minorities. Essentially, we need to take care of our own, as external assistance will not understand. Such is shown by and through the illogical rebuttal to "Black Lives Matter" with "All Lives Matter", a simple butt-hurt cop-out to get a conditioned monkey-mind to continue to ignore a prevalent issue, especially if people are called to question their own integrity. Despite whoever funded such campaigns to push for a civil-war type agenda, the "civil-war" will only apply should you choose to keep the heavily conditioned programmed monkey-mind, where we have yet to be able to sit at the table and understand each other. If such isn't applicable, then I will be playing the video game, of being that hated Black Dot within Yang, in order to maintain that balance of Yin and Yang. See how duality works. Your consciousness did not plunge itself into lower density to bitch about the suffering required for your soul growth, but to ascend by and through this galaxy's master class.
I see the direction my blog, my writing, and the way I hold myself in strength is changing as I allow my inner beast to grow up. I no longer fear my death, as in most of my life, death would have been easily welcomed. As such, I can shoot the shit now, without the fear of getting my throat slit. I understand why the Dalai Lama stresses the need to develop compassion, a drastically unnecessary task for an extremely sensitive empath, for when the beast is strengthened, the Divine Will of Higher Self is required as a balance.
I have chosen the route of the qliphoth to ascend, most likely due to being constantly surrounded by religious horseshit. My spiritual practice is not a belief system, but a practice that can easily lead to my insanity. As I have opened my "doors of perception" into deeper aspects of my subconscious, both God (Theta- Healing; 7th Plane of Existence) and God's Adversary (Temple of Ascending Flame; I trust Asenath Mason's philosophy and guidance) are both alive and well within me. Nonetheless, as the introductory quote attests to further fear preaching, when current light-workers on "Team Jesus" preach, I would suggest to Minorities to remember the song by The Who, Won't Be Fooled Again. Do understand, that not all light-workers are under this dualist mentality, as these spiritual terms are willy-nilly thrown around without proper definitions, it is up to the adept to have proper discernment in assessing a healer, teacher, etc., as I personally will not go to just anyone for help where I need to develop some trust and understanding with a Teacher. I have heard more than enough webinars of Theta-Healers thinking they are better than Shamans because they can talk to God (another voice in their head) essentially labeling everyone they don't agree with as "evil" as this is the "Team Jesus/Anti-Guru" camp. You can't be you're own Guru when you have so many layers of the monkey-mind to dissolve to actually see the wider perspectives. Talking to a voice in your head (separation) and Self-Realization are not the same thing, where these psychics like to brag on how they get all the information on their own, that they don't need to study books or other teachers, all the while looking philosophically dull and overtly racist as they push and capitalize another eurocentric belief system. At least these Westerners are no longer capitalizing on yoga, all the while talking shit about my lineages traditions, gurus, etc.
The person who made the above comment, I've crammed a lot of their work-product since 2017, so getting the healing is one thing. However, discernment is extensively required with any teacher who is not Self-realized. Nonetheless, "as within, so without". These teachers are also my mirror, where I have to shed a couple layers by and through being triggered by the above comment and then drafting this blog piece. I had forgotten about my elementary friend who was essentially "burned at the stake", where I had to shed a couple of tears for the mere fact that she had to live through such an experience. This sweet little girl, another introvert, defended herself in honor of her sister, and ended up red and crying by the end of the class. I may not have wanted to continue living most of my life, but as a professional representative (and just myself), people have needed me simply to just understand their perspectives, so I see my importance in just being around as much as I don't want to be here. Offering a differ perspective, with no fear, with no need to hide behind any mask. I'm not trying to hide my "twilight". If anything, I didn't want to be persecuted, harassed, and killed, as Christians have historically and continually shown to us. I mean, they are still cutting/burning trees to print your mind-control materials, as missionary's and right-wing governments have typically worked together (and far-left wing, Jesuits, sheep are whipped from both sides to herd them in line). Again, secularism my ass. You cannot separate the Church and continual mass-extinction of indigenous people.
In journeying through my own path, in facing my own abyss of Daath, I'm constantly reminded that I need to stand on my own two-feet, as the above-expressed quote is just one of many light-workers going on an anti-Black bender. Angels help you create something shiny, Demons help you see through horseshit, hence, they can ruin the light-worker's false "grace" of "ignorance is bliss" by showing you the truth of your happy delusions in samsara. Worse, your own demons only show you the truth of your own self, whereas those projecting those issues externally, are only afraid of looking in the mirror.
Light-workers, spiritual communities, etc., are only continuing reminders to myself that the adept has to do this work for his or herself, and no one else can do it for the adept. In crossing the abyss of Daath and moving into and beyond the supernal triad, there are no more saviors as there are no more gods. You can be an agenda for the light, you can be an agenda for the dark, but at some point, the adept may wake-up to the fact that there is no separation between the viewer and viewed, the person looking at the mirror and the mirror. You are what you perceive. You can either point the finger, or you can get over your limited-self. The qliphoth is a dangerous path as it can immediately bring in the most intense dark-night of the soul, as the adept has invoked many archetypal beings meant to help liberate the adepts delusions for transcendence or egoic coloring. The adept must face their own beasts and forge their Divine Will by Ego-Death. Initiators and guides are utilized along the path of Self-Recognition, such as the original Light-Bringer. This is not a practice that closes at the end of the ritual, but something that must be watched as the adept proceeds forward. In other words, I'm not afraid to admit, the adept burns, as we ought to.
I want to redefine "Twilight". TWILIGHT, the original language of the Witches/Goddesses as spoken of in the tantras, is the ability to see someone's darkness, and Still Love Them, still shine on them. A lesson while walking through the abyss, "Father, forgive them, for they (g)now not, what they do!".
One of the things that I've noticed in my spiritual development, is that those that I follow regarding spirituality typically shift or adjust based on my private practice in synchronicity, or it's time for me to move on. In other words, "as within, so without". As an example, as I began working with the Draconian Current and Umma Tiamat, I spent time looking for information on general dragon invocation only to find mostly bindings, with very little substantive information outside of the Luciferian traditions. Nonetheless, I took note that the large meditation groups I follow began working with dragons, particularly the "mother" dragon. However, because these groups are "light-workers", instead of the Mother Dragon being black and the mother of demons, she is golden and vomits healing rainbows as guided by the Arcturians, Andromedans, etc., all the beings of the "light" in opposition to Draco of course. The instructor in this meditation group, despite stating that she has anchored in her "I Am" presence, is quite fond of the images in her head, such as Archangel Michael and Mother Mary being "twin flames". Significant monkey-mind psychological conditioning abounds in these "light-worker" communities expressing significant polarity, all the while these teachers are attempting to teach nonduality. Hence, the Saiva saint Abhinavagupta was correct in his Sri Tantraloka in describing the left hand path (vama) as being hire than the right hand path (daksina), in order for the adept to achieve Siddhant. I'm not saying "don't follow these teachers", especially if there is healing to be had and if we are all lending our unique signature energies into the mix. I just wish the depth of understanding was deeper and I'm left wondering if I'm being healed, or reprogrammed by many astral beings who seek to control the adept, including beings who take on the role of Jesus and Mother Mary as described by Aleister Crowley in his astral projection writings. (Magick Book 4).
These light-workers lost in their siddhi delusions may not cater to such information as I have presented, which is a slight summation of Patanjali's assessment in his Yoga Sutras. The adept is to ignore siddhis as they will become a distraction to your reach for enlightenment. I think the same assessment applies to "twin-flame" communities attempting to understand Ardhanareeshwara, communities which are essentially a cesspool of romantic projections and delusions of divinity with messianic life-purpose complexities. Patanjali was a NAGA (reptilian), who taught the nobility (Aryan) of turning the beast that is a human into a God through integration with Self, not this light versus dark polarity, or Disney-type romantic projections of continually looking for something outside of yourself. If an adept calls themselves the "divine feminine" as in the receivership nadi, then I would expect the "divine masculine" counterpart as the doership nadi to reflect back the divine feminine's own psychological mess and understanding. Before transcending the need and want to have a divine counterpart, I would think the twin-flame process of ascension to be quite hellish. To get the divine counterpart, I would argue to try to transcend the divine counterpart, and also, as part of ego-death and shedding identities, stop identifying with your genitals. Be in this world, but not of it. Here, I would recommend Elizabeth Lund as she appears to be the only one I can find on youtube who helps me understand the nadi's through her own extensive personal experiences and the twin-flame concept, in addition to aiming for sovereignty and understanding one's own power.
Since last December, anchoring in the "I Am" has been key. Once the adept has the experience of "samadhi" (no mind), or better yet, the experience of ego death (Ain Soph Aur and above the light; In the beginning was the light, but what was there before the beginning, before time-space/kala-kali) typically described as the "void", then the adept is given the task of clearing their own egoic issues stemming from numerous lifetimes as the monkey-mind (ego) fights back. This is accomplished by simply dropping the monkey-mind COMPLETELY for the darkness of the void beyond the light, which has a transmutation feel helping the adept let go all that needs to be released. In practicing the qliphoth, I think the "void" space is akin to the central BLACK sun, where adepts who are unable to cross the abyss of Daath fall further into the egoic-psychological mess creating arrogance with a megalomaniac-messianic feel such as Hitler, or Pauline Jesus who proclaimed "No one comes to the father, except through me" (John 14:6). As a side-note for the adept, there is a huge difference in emotional upheaval between calmly letting yourself psychology go into the void, typically by and through proctors who have "been there and done that" such as Mooji and Bentinho Massaro who transmit deeper levels of samadhi where the adept is not tied to samsara (present to the moment versus present to the increasing psychological emptiness), and doing a central BLACK sun invocation that unleashes heavy issues within the inner beast or a deeper push into the subconscious.
The inner beast, our own inner animal lower self can either be buried deep within our subconscious (Draconian Current, the primal Self), or it can be harnessed and mastered in working with higher self by and through ego-death practices. In other words, your own inner beast can work with you, or can arise in probably the most inopportune moments to ensure the adept learns their lessons, not necessarily just to create heaven which is an egoic-desire based on monkey-mind conditioning, but to push forth in soul evolution. For adepts who choose this path, a Nightside (subconsious) guide is required, typically an Angel who has already mastered this path of both light (Dayside) and dark (Nightside). The adept must learn to tame their beast and master holding the trident: 1. (g)enerator, (o)perator, and (d)estroyer; 2. awake, sleep, deep sleep; 3. Mother God (feminine principle; Shakti-Energy, brain hemisphere), Father God (masculine principle; Shiva-Divine Will/Consciousness, brain hemisphere), and the synthesis of such producing the Divine Child; and 4. Heaven, Earth, and UNDERWORLD.
In reaching for inner completion, instead of harnessing the trident, many light-workers, and divine feminine's and divine masculines are stuck playing archetypal roles rather than realizing their own fullness. In doing such, duality continues further into denser layers creating further separation, as men are still believed to be from Mars and women from Venus. The near-future may be "female" as many women are beginning groups that look like an attempt at something found within the "Rosary Gates of Ishtar". But the original Goddess, the holder of the original Holy Graal, brings someone with her to usher in the astrological era of freedom, and sorry light-workers, it ain't Pauline Jesus. Look at our mythologies, is enlightenment found in Heaven and Earth, or somewhere else. This should be understood by light-workers who have to conjure their "I Am" presence in their meditations, and have the audience plug in with "positive" e.t.'s, and unplug from "negative" e.t.'s., of course, more western monkey-mind conditioning. I would ask light-workers to look at the anthropological roots as to why Light/White is perceived as good and Dark/Black is bad in western countries, and vice-versa with certain African traditions. Can you imagine someone of color outside of the "Bible Belt" degrading dark or black? Who got to decide that Light/White was positive and Dark/Black is negative, we should ask brother Louis Farrakhan! Don't read too much into my comment, after-all, "All E.T. Lives Matter".
Advaita, and wrathful Shakti mantras (Kundalini colorings) are my bread and butter. Shakti mantras have been on my tongue since the inception of this blog, as it is a practice that keeps me sane and properly breathing as the Goddess adjusts me energetically and physically. In addition, since last December I pushed forward with Advaita, neti neti (not this, not this) to clear everything out of my head and emotional body, where the observer and the observed had become significantly psychologically experienced. Bentinho pushes my buttons and gets me to dig deeper all the while throwing me in the flames of purgatory, while Mooji gently calms the adept into samadhi and helps them walk through their dilemmas from the perspective of "I Am", not a religious or societal monkey-brained conditioned perspective.
A few months back while sitting with a Mooji satsang, an adept asked a question regarding himself as the "seer" and the "seen", where the adept was advanced enough to separate the two, but wanted to know more of the "seer". Before the excited Mooji responded, the questioner, or rather the question in itself (Self-Inquiry), dropped me back into the ego-death experience that I had back in 2015. I was psychologically emptied-out to the point where I was separated from my body and all material forms and simply lingered in an increasing spaciousness. This feeling of "I Am" has the affect of shifting all psychological emotions (happiness, joy, love serotonin-dopamine cocktail, etc.), for the blissful (the proper definition of Ananda) state of just dropping everything. There is NOTHING to cling onto, let it all go. Even titles, such as God, or Divinity, are fruitless in this field as they become egoic traps the monkey-mind can feed on. Literally, this is an equal playing God-field of which everything is a part, including ego. In other words, it's quite stupid to call myself God, or Divine Masculine, etc., as these are all concepts within the video game, where few people actually desire to wake up from the video game.
Now, it has become moving myself into lingering within the void as much as and as blissfully as possible, where I feel my psychology, emotional body, and tension-stress within the physical body drastically decrease at a speed where I'm forced to pace myself. My physical body has been shifting, but more so drastically since last December, where my spine has stretched and moved to be properly placed in my body with my shoulders and hips being naturally moved back, with the rest of my body painfully adjusting requiring frequent salt baths. I'm glad I've had warnings by twin-flame teachers, though such teacher stated that men aren't doing the work and therefore, men aren't going to feel it. Such teachers fail to see the universe as a mirror, despite what they preach. Such teachers also only do "women only" healing groups, and then complain about men. Even though the healing groups I ended up in, I was the only male there showing that these teachers may be correct that men aren't doing the work, but it's another reminder for me that spirituality is a solo path if you're aiming for sovereignty. In my path, I've healed and significantly felt both my regular male ego self and an inner female where the concept of gender is more and more being blurred within me, including sexuality. However, I'm not asking to open up the "women only" groups, as I've had to recently block numerous, if not all, of my close male relatives due to an energy of what has been labelled as "toxic" masculinity. These men also consider themselves "spiritual", though without ego-death practices, spirituality is just "spiritual materialism" (See Chogyam Trungpa). I'm just glad I've found Mooji and Bentinho to help me reach Self and linger in Ananda as my monkey-mind self has perceived numerous suicide timelines since last December, both of which are lessons in letting go. I guess I know what happens to me on the denser Earth, if there is a harvest occurring as described in The Law of One (Ra Materials). The lone wolf has to purge the emotions of loneliness, as the human is mostly a programmed pack animal. Such isn't that difficult, when one enjoys his/her own company, something I'm finding most other people are incapable of doing. Again, Sovereignty!
As I've pushed on in anchoring this emptiness, this blissful-void (there is also a neutral void which can become depressing), I'm constantly trying to assess my experience with others who alleged to be similarly situated for better understanding. Nonetheless, I'm finding many are preaching as opposed to describing their experiences and helping adepts dig deeper without significant dualist ramblings. The direction many of the light-workers I follow has become messianic and preachy due to polarized belief systems plaguing the western mind. The eastern world has the yin and yang and it is typically philosophically understood that we are to integrate both. But the western mind is plagued by the Abrahamic traditions, much of which is simply Jewish/Semitic politics, especially when viewed without the Qabalah. Unlike most of the world who had deities that have both negative and positive aspects, it seems like it was the Temple of Solomon and the separation of demons and angels from the original daimons or 72 names of God that created this extremely polarized ideology, which has become quite fanatical by and through its Christian and Islamic offspring. Let's just say that I've worked with the counterpart of Archangel Michael (Temple of Ascending Flame/Asenath Mason) in walking through Daath, in addition to having done the Enochian calls (Jason Louv) which shreds the ego. My understanding and take on angels and demons is very different than your typical "angel reader" or "demonologist", and Archangel Michael seems to hold different coloring now that I can perceive his shadow (like a Black Knight with some orange under my monkey-mind imagery, orange most likely because of the Ninja Turtles). Nonetheless, having grown up in both Protestant and Catholic education, there has been significant programming of monkey-mind dualist concepts as "purity" and "impurity" where I'm finding the work-product of the Temple of Ascending Flame optimal in deconstruction of Christian ideologies, groups and individuals with ideologies on par with with actual Tantra (Sorcery Texts, not Sex Manuals). Therefore, the left hand path was necessary in purging these judgmental based belief systems, showing it to be a stepping stone above the right hand path. In terms of "purity" and "impurity", well, beauty is in the "eye of the beholder", and, is there not always a "silver lining"? The saint and the sinner, the virgin and the slut, are ONE and the same, holding different expressions of the same One-Consciousness. But, monkey-mind belief system projections of "impurity" and "purity" are excruciatingly apparent with many light-worker preachers, particularly the ones who market their work-product under the banner of "Team Jesus". For those still stuck on the "light", I suggest reading our global mythologies to see who actually wins in the end, not the original Corporation herding human capital that is the Catholic Church and its derivatives. Church and Religion have never been separate. If you actually believe the U.S. is secular, then explain why Obama potentially being Muslim is an issue and the unintelligible support of Israel, a name and land that ancestrally does not belong to the Semitic groups, but was conquered by them. This is what happens when psychologically-conditioned sheep vote. Lastly, Heaven is also a shadow of the original consciousness flowing down the tree of life, another delusion for the monkey-mind to attach onto, where Heaven and Hell have always been political tools.
In terms of Self-Realization, the light-worker communities are moving too slow for my taste, where I'm finding incessant projections as empathic-ally draining, from people who have allegedly done the shadow work. There are those that are working up there own pace, dealing with their own issues and projections by and through global situations. For such, I would recommend my mentor Dr. Lauren Cielo who conducts free weekly meditations, and whose techniques help work with spirit guides and help the adept LET GO. The beauty of Dr. Cielo's meditations, if there is an issue being projected out into the world that creates triggers, he brings it home with healing something within ourselves and the collective energy field, very little external blaming. Nonetheless, despite how many people are talking about Brahman, Kether, Zero-Point Consciousness, very few people are actually ready for Self-Realization, to remove all of their delusions (attachments to samsara), including religious-heavenly delusions. Historically, Self-Realized masters have not set out to save the world as they've come to the realization of the perfection AS IS as it is God's divine play (lila), or the fact that the adept is simply jumping parallel timelines when they amp-up their vibrations. Though Samsara may be beautiful, she will always remind you that the world of forms and your attachments thereof are doomed to fail, as it is "untruth".
One last recommendation, an adept on par with Mooji and Bentinho Massaro (I have found other nontraditional Advaita youtube teachers to be lacking in significant depth, understanding, and mostly darsan; such teachers may be present to the moment, not the emptiness of the void; in addition, such teachers fail to understand/experience that Advaita-Oneness is not the highest as Shiva taught in the tantras), is an adept who I feel would be the step above the left hand path, or Saiva Siddhant. Like most of my favorite teachers, she doesn't need to talk, her mere presence and also her transmissions are more than enough to drive my clairsentience wild. She would be a recent find of mine, the incredible Jivanmukti of Siddhanta Yoga. Jivanmukti has no need for archetypes, religious structures, belief systems, etc. As the adept reaches the void, images of deities, angels, ascended masters are no different than images of festering fecal matter, as they are both images dancing on the smokescreen of consciousness where the monkey-brain places definitions and meanings as such.
Overly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil.
"It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
-James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions