I grew up in a harsh Protestant Elementary, where we learned of ancient Christian martyrs who would blindly/faithly die for their god, where it was necessary to build a Christian "Calvary". All was such for the sake of attaining a heaven, and mostly to deter away from the greatest fear of all, a Christian ideology mostly crafted 1,000 years after Jesus, known as Hell. This is the same ideology that has globally spread with a Bible in one hand, and a gun in the other, in order to not only spiritually (psychologically; consciousness) control a flock, but politically as well, as Religion has always been a political institution. I really did grow up looking at other minorities like, "why do you worship the slave masters' god?". Christians have to look to ancient times for their martyrs! I don't have to look very far in my own bloodline to see the Devil that has been Christianity. And of course, the current Pope got some "flack" for comparing Muslim conversion tactics to the early Christians, as Christians continue to be blind of their own karma, and bling of their own god post the Dead Sea/Nag Hammadi Texts. Moreover, there is a gorgeous Buddhist Temple near where I currently live, that in their early days had to remove the Swastikas from their front gates as it offended the neighboring Jewish community (If what I've been told is correct). If that's the case, then how about we remove one of the biggest symbols of slavery, the symbol that makes a group think they're better as their god and legal-dogma is the only correct one, the Christian Cross. Nonetheless, like good Buddhists, the Temple provided no rebuttal and completely agreed with the community. Hence, the need to continually put my own little self in check.
It was 6th grade, Bible class with one of the most amazing loving individuals as a teacher, but also most fanatical. This was a school, where the teachers' resumes must be to a Protestant standard. Such was drastically different from my Catholic High School, where we had even had a Muslim teacher. The setting was a debate on abortion, and be wary, you are only allowed to venture within certain perspectives within these organizations, unless you prefer the Salem witch trials. Everyone falls under pro-life where pro-choice arguments are only valid when the mother's life is at risk. The only other option is to give the child up for adoption. However, this one day, this girl had the guts to push the conversation further and ask, "what about when the girl is raped, I think the girl should be able to have an abortion". As a 6th grader who barely found out what abortion was (traditional Indian parents don't talk to their kids or will have a wildly out-dated and different-cultural perspective), I had to sit and linger for awhile and hear what others had to say. But as I had already learned from being in this Western school and being raised in an Eastern home, that I had to constantly question everything, every doctrine, every argument, as I was torn between two (2) different cultures and ways of looking at life. So this brave little girl was a gem to me, a new fresh perspective, where she described the emotions that the female would have to go through in coming to that decision and the ensuing psychological damage from the numerous potential options that were provided to the female. This argument was too far for this group, as the spirit considered to be in the fetus is superior to the psychological (and financial) developments as an aftermath. These were all Republicans, who only want to help the impoverished and needy if it's done by and through their organization (so they can push their agenda), all the while attempting to get every tax break possible. Secular country my ass! Truth is in dissecting these conditioned belief systems, where the truth here is, the baby needs to worship Jesus before it dies, or it goes to Christian "Hell". Forget an imaginary hell, that poor girl was put through hell, by "judge not lest ye be judged" people. I couldn't stick up for her, as I was still processing everything, and also hiding my token deity under my shirt whose holding a pitchfork with a snake around his neck. I understood this girl's emotions in trying to have her voice heard, where I noted others only empathically-felt for her only after discovering the following day that this girl was describing her older sister. This memory is probably a long lost memory, a little bump on the road for the bigger missionary agenda, for most of my colleagues in this classroom. For me, this girl's voice, and more so, her emotions, will never be forgotten, as I now comfortably begin to champion The Adversary current that has always flowed through me. My own Beast.
As Dr. Ol Doinyo Laetoli le Baaba (Kali Baaba) was a long-time family friend and guide to many of my relatives, our heroes were not the Martin Luther King, Jrs., who preached to the masses and yet led a shitty personal life. Our heroes were Malcolm X and Black Elk Speaks (Gandhi pushed it too far for some of his practices for me), excellent case studies for adepts to evolve both spiritually and materially. The words of brother Louis Farrakhan would also bless our home. While the Bible Belt Republicans all blame the government, I've seen Louis Farrakhan stick up to these leaders with the intent of at what point are you going to learn not to trust these "White-Devils". Yep, I grew up hearing the "White-Man is the Devil" on one side and a Christian "Calvary" on the other. Nonetheless, I understand what the Roman Constantine did when he combined the archonic Old Testament god (spiteful, jealous god that was blowing everything up in opposition) with the adept-Master New Testament guy (peaceful turn the other cheek). Hence, you have blonde-haired, blue-eyed, gun-toting (not judging guns here) Jesus, and an extremely judgmental religion. Judgment is to use discernment for the truth, or rather "to judge", not punitive damages (hell). Louis Farrakhan has been the main leader, the pioneer in what I've seen, in pushing forward in self-sufficiency, not just for the Black community, but for all Minorities. Essentially, we need to take care of our own, as external assistance will not understand. Such is shown by and through the illogical rebuttal to "Black Lives Matter" with "All Lives Matter", a simple butt-hurt cop-out to get a conditioned monkey-mind to continue to ignore a prevalent issue, especially if people are called to question their own integrity. Despite whoever funded such campaigns to push for a civil-war type agenda, the "civil-war" will only apply should you choose to keep the heavily conditioned programmed monkey-mind, where we have yet to be able to sit at the table and understand each other. If such isn't applicable, then I will be playing the video game, of being that hated Black Dot within Yang, in order to maintain that balance of Yin and Yang. See how duality works. Your consciousness did not plunge itself into lower density to bitch about the suffering required for your soul growth, but to ascend by and through this galaxy's master class.
I see the direction my blog, my writing, and the way I hold myself in strength is changing as I allow my inner beast to grow up. I no longer fear my death, as in most of my life, death would have been easily welcomed. As such, I can shoot the shit now, without the fear of getting my throat slit. I understand why the Dalai Lama stresses the need to develop compassion, a drastically unnecessary task for an extremely sensitive empath, for when the beast is strengthened, the Divine Will of Higher Self is required as a balance.
I have chosen the route of the qliphoth to ascend, most likely due to being constantly surrounded by religious horseshit. My spiritual practice is not a belief system, but a practice that can easily lead to my insanity. As I have opened my "doors of perception" into deeper aspects of my subconscious, both God (Theta- Healing; 7th Plane of Existence) and God's Adversary (Temple of Ascending Flame; I trust Asenath Mason's philosophy and guidance) are both alive and well within me. Nonetheless, as the introductory quote attests to further fear preaching, when current light-workers on "Team Jesus" preach, I would suggest to Minorities to remember the song by The Who, Won't Be Fooled Again. Do understand, that not all light-workers are under this dualist mentality, as these spiritual terms are willy-nilly thrown around without proper definitions, it is up to the adept to have proper discernment in assessing a healer, teacher, etc., as I personally will not go to just anyone for help where I need to develop some trust and understanding with a Teacher. I have heard more than enough webinars of Theta-Healers thinking they are better than Shamans because they can talk to God (another voice in their head) essentially labeling everyone they don't agree with as "evil" as this is the "Team Jesus/Anti-Guru" camp. You can't be you're own Guru when you have so many layers of the monkey-mind to dissolve to actually see the wider perspectives. Talking to a voice in your head (separation) and Self-Realization are not the same thing, where these psychics like to brag on how they get all the information on their own, that they don't need to study books or other teachers, all the while looking philosophically dull and overtly racist as they push and capitalize another eurocentric belief system. At least these Westerners are no longer capitalizing on yoga, all the while talking shit about my lineages traditions, gurus, etc.
The person who made the above comment, I've crammed a lot of their work-product since 2017, so getting the healing is one thing. However, discernment is extensively required with any teacher who is not Self-realized. Nonetheless, "as within, so without". These teachers are also my mirror, where I have to shed a couple layers by and through being triggered by the above comment and then drafting this blog piece. I had forgotten about my elementary friend who was essentially "burned at the stake", where I had to shed a couple of tears for the mere fact that she had to live through such an experience. This sweet little girl, another introvert, defended herself in honor of her sister, and ended up red and crying by the end of the class. I may not have wanted to continue living most of my life, but as a professional representative (and just myself), people have needed me simply to just understand their perspectives, so I see my importance in just being around as much as I don't want to be here. Offering a differ perspective, with no fear, with no need to hide behind any mask. I'm not trying to hide my "twilight". If anything, I didn't want to be persecuted, harassed, and killed, as Christians have historically and continually shown to us. I mean, they are still cutting/burning trees to print your mind-control materials, as missionary's and right-wing governments have typically worked together (and far-left wing, Jesuits, sheep are whipped from both sides to herd them in line). Again, secularism my ass. You cannot separate the Church and continual mass-extinction of indigenous people.
In journeying through my own path, in facing my own abyss of Daath, I'm constantly reminded that I need to stand on my own two-feet, as the above-expressed quote is just one of many light-workers going on an anti-Black bender. Angels help you create something shiny, Demons help you see through horseshit, hence, they can ruin the light-worker's false "grace" of "ignorance is bliss" by showing you the truth of your happy delusions in samsara. Worse, your own demons only show you the truth of your own self, whereas those projecting those issues externally, are only afraid of looking in the mirror.
Light-workers, spiritual communities, etc., are only continuing reminders to myself that the adept has to do this work for his or herself, and no one else can do it for the adept. In crossing the abyss of Daath and moving into and beyond the supernal triad, there are no more saviors as there are no more gods. You can be an agenda for the light, you can be an agenda for the dark, but at some point, the adept may wake-up to the fact that there is no separation between the viewer and viewed, the person looking at the mirror and the mirror. You are what you perceive. You can either point the finger, or you can get over your limited-self. The qliphoth is a dangerous path as it can immediately bring in the most intense dark-night of the soul, as the adept has invoked many archetypal beings meant to help liberate the adepts delusions for transcendence or egoic coloring. The adept must face their own beasts and forge their Divine Will by Ego-Death. Initiators and guides are utilized along the path of Self-Recognition, such as the original Light-Bringer. This is not a practice that closes at the end of the ritual, but something that must be watched as the adept proceeds forward. In other words, I'm not afraid to admit, the adept burns, as we ought to.
I want to redefine "Twilight". TWILIGHT, the original language of the Witches/Goddesses as spoken of in the tantras, is the ability to see someone's darkness, and Still Love Them, still shine on them. A lesson while walking through the abyss, "Father, forgive them, for they (g)now not, what they do!".
Overly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil.
"It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
-James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions