I've spent much of my life studying esoterics. However, my intuitive process is infantile compared to my studies, where I have glimpses of my past where my intuition would be unknowingly providing me with long-ignored hunches. That may be the same for many of us who have been raised in a society ignorant of intuition, a society who has yet to begin to grasp the internal world of "know thy self". Nonetheless, we are all on our paths and all such occurrences and growth fall under divine timing, when we are ready to step up our mystic game, as plotted and planned by our expanded Selves. As I expand my own intuitive abilities, I'm left weary about the many intuitive that I once use to blindly believe. To sum it up, trust your own Self. In following and communicating with others with intuitive abilities, ranging from astrologers, tarot readers, psychics, energy readers, among others, I noticed my constant inner shift has left me now ignoring many that I would have once followed and learned from. In fact, as I further my own growth, I'm constantly leaving teachers behind who I once thought were incredible. I feel that this is what many of us should strive for, or we will get lost in creating celebrities of these "gurus" which then leads to guru-worship, when really all these tools/permission slips should be forcing us to look at our own selves. Particularly when a teacher gets too cocky, stressing that they and their followers are the highest, that's usually my trigger to start seeking elsewhere. My Sagittarius roots has me constantly looking for deeper depths, my own true-essence, where I see many others attempting to emulate their guru or their gurus teachings as opposed to following their own inner resonance. Take what feels right, leave the rest in the dust, and explore as much as you can, particularly what feels to be the most blissful. This is why Ma Kali has worked wonderfully for me, as my beloved she has me first and foremost looking towards myself as opposed to other gurus. She is the voice in my head that rings true by further asking me questions, and using my emotional body that truly navigates this ship. She is none other than the divine flame residing within our depths, dissolving the density of ignorance. Should I get too attached to a figure I find in separation/duality, something I find very often should a guru/yogi/magi display any special abilities (siddhis), Ma Kali will quickly cut those attachments for the brilliance of my own inner resonance. She is known as Adi Shakti for a reason, the first life force that permeates "All That Is". She is a wisdom Goddess first and foremost, that's in my head like Socrates asking questions as opposed to forcing me to accept something as truth. However, my interpretation of her may also be different since I sought her out beyond the typical Hindu belief structures, finding her in many differing traditions, and falling in line with my own expanded awareness through occult studies. I see now why I was not born trusting my intuition for a reason, which was to develop my logic first. Though I was always scared of the dark despite being protected from horror movies, etc. (back then in the 80's, access to such was not as easy as today), my intuition would be chaotic knowing some-things are lingering behind the shadows as a child. Something I didn't realize and clear up until I conducted my first banishing ritual at the turn of the millennium in late high school. However, I do also realize that such fears may have been due to Christian fear programming from being raised in protestant elementary schools, who stressed the concepts of hell (most Christians adopt Dante's interpretation, since the Bible lacks description; even hel comes from the Vikings), or fear, guilt, shame of sin, enough limiting-beliefs to engage the law of attraction to manifest bullshit in one's life leading for one to beg for a messiah (a complete circle). Such has also permeated Hindu beliefs, and probably, historically strengthened by exoteric Islamic invading groups. Our Spirit has been ignorantly programmed by these exoteric groups, where in order to unleash more of our intuitive potential, a de-programming, a detachment to our limiting-shaming beliefs is required to truly grasp communication with Higher Self and proper guidance. Hence, through my own seeking where I chose to move beyond what my educational systems, or major exoteric religious institutions were teaching, particularly dualist philosophies of separation, I managed to increase my logical abilities to sort through information that no longer resonates with where I am at in my spiritual development. Though, I understand such information may resonate with many others and are necessary for their growth, as they were once for me. Reading and studying as much esoterica as I possibly could in my short 32 years, yes, even as a child obsessed with the paranormal, I'm now noticing that I watch the plethora of youtube intuitives, teachers, gurus, all with their programming becoming more and more clear. For those who believe in separation, the concept of good vs. evil become clearly evident, where there is significant ego bashing as if it is the "new devil" to put one's blame. Similarly, they're plenty of light-workers in this category, who will tell you to be careful what you watch or listen with regards to the media, or will push the vegetarian/vegan agenda, without realizing that Spirit did not manifest into density to have limited experiences. We're not here to all fit within one box, but to hold numerous expressions for the expansion of Universal Consciousness. As Carl Sagan stated, "[w]e are a way for the cosmos to know itself". Hence, though such messages may come from attempting to better humanity, all should first and foremost ring true for the viewer before blindly accepting such information. What may be the correct way for one person's life may not be the correct way for mine, or others. Diversity is to be celebrated, even if it does not fit a particular agenda. Hence, intuitives still grappling with these dualist notions tend to have their intuition limited by such programming, at least from what I feel. Particularly those that fall under exoteric limited religious organizations, where God simply cannot be a female for some limiting reason, or that which requires an opponent devil figure, such programming becomes easily exposed limiting the presenters ability to grasp a wider perspective ... and that's all "intuition" really is, the ability to see the bigger picture. Hence, with the intuition, the right hemisphere of the brain also known as the divine feminine (Christ the Sophia), is often limited by the divine masculine (Christ the Logos), the logical left hemisphere of the brain, because of beliefs including religious programming. Therefore, we have to be careful we don't fall into the "expert phenomena" where we render someone with a certificate to hold superior intelligence that turns off our own critical thinking and inner resonance. I am definitely guilty of such and it took me to become an attorney to see that, that a certificate doesn't render higher intelligence (especially in a world where "experts" can be bought), but I realize that it was a stepping stone for my own growth. As an example, I use youtube "angel card" intuitive readers, particularly from those with a Christian dualist perspective. Even though such readers may be able to communicate with angels, I find the perspectives to be harshly limited by some individuals (not all) where the reader may not understand that the concept of angels and demons come from the greek "daemon", simply being a contracted entity. It is human notions that place these daemons, these gargoyles, into human dualist ethical standards. As a human is considered to be created in God's image and hold a position higher than these angels, it is because humans grasp the plethora of duality, both the light and dark, just as the unlimited One. Humans are a microcosm of the great macrocosm, as above so below. Even the devils of these religions are not necessarily all-evil beings, but are more likely the gods of the conquered cultures. Lucifer is the morning star, the lighted one, who later became the Christian opponent. Satan, or Sheitan, simply means "opposer", where again, this devil imagery is derived from Dante rather then biblical interpretations. In fact, from reading the Old Testament with beings (plural!) labelling themselves as YHVH who are constantly smiting groups and individuals to get their way, the "opposer" doesn't seem to be the figure to blame as expressed in the Lord's Prayer where you ask the "Father" to "lead us not into temptation", not the devil. Though one can explore the lower astral realms and find figures of "evil", my perspective for such travels is to understand why and what I was to learn from these experiences, as opposed to playing the blame game. Hence, from what I've found, logic must meet the intuition to see a wider perspective. It's a balance of the hemisphere's of the brain, wholeness, where your intuition will only take you as far as your logic can grasp. That's just me, everyone's on their own path, and these readers are here for a particular group of individuals. Again, I take what resonates and leave the rest behind, where I guard myself from falling victim to the "expert phenomena" concept. Those intuitives that I trust the most are usually those whose majority words are aligned to my own inner resonance (logically built up from years of studying), leaving me at the edge of my seat with further anticipation. Piercing the veil is another game, another discernment, that we're forging, where it behooves us to not be quick to simply accept what is perceived, but remain in critical assessment to ever increase our understanding about these provided messages, as they are expressed through our filters, our programming.
Nonetheless, the intuitive to trust the most is your own Self, where the real Guru resides in the hidden energy center within the cranium, the Guru Chakra, the destroyer of ignorance. However, the energy flowing through from these external intuitives may be the real deal that you can also energetically tap into their frequency, but again, the wording expressed may be significantly filtered. Hence, always ask yourself, does it ring true for you. Follow your own inner guidance.
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Often times, the trouble with channeling is not recognizing that you're in the flow. As the practice of mantra, when done right, becomes a geometric yantra symbolic of the essence being invoked, which then becomes a mandala housing the human vehicle with divine light, what mantra is to the tantrik is what spirit invocation is to the western occultist. Different tools for different cultures, similar outcomes, particularly when the human vehicle has been prepped with proper exercise (prana), nutrition, and mental stillness. The universe is our oyster, for when consciousness is not limited to the human-identity, one can be any among the many. As my guide to the unknown has been none other than the divine mother, in her form resembling the darkest of nights as she is symbolic of not just the womb of creation, but that which is beyond, she is the protector of my consciousness, unveiling as much as my ego-form can handle and which is only relevant. The day began with my usual routine of typical morning awakening, which is now infused with deep breathing exercising attempting to relax the body and the mind, my limited expressions, with a mixture of vijnanabhairava, taoist, kriya, and new age techniques to ground out the flurry of thoughts lingering from the astral world. Moving into my typical exercise routines, with the rest of the day spent in simple errands and house chores listening to channeled lectures, the evening is ripe with the calmness to conjure storms. With my bedroom hot-boxed with frankincense and myrrh, the scents of pure consciousness and death, I'm clutching a small copper yantra infused with the mantras of these ancient and mostly forgotten 64 Yoginis. Included to get me in the mood is my lemurian quartz, many pieces of moldavite hanging on my neck to raise my vibration, as I run through mantras to invoke these Shaktis under the guidance of my beloved. Without Adi Shakti, the first feminine, there is no entry into these mysteries, as she stands front and center, the key to the higher realms above the Qabalist Malkuth, or below into the depths of the Qlipha. She is kundalini, the flame that sparks all of our existence, either asleep deluding man further into his abyss, or risen to meet her consort, infinite Consciousness. Easter was far from my mind, a time when mother nature resurrects herself to bloom in her glory. A beauty that limited man has attempted to subdue and control through his limited symbolism, as found through much of our history where man has attempted to subdue, control, and destroy one of our greatest teachers and healers, nature herself. Yet here I was, sitting in front of my ever growing altar, not to worship and submit as found completely incompatible under law of attraction techniques, but to invoke, equate, and self-empower, where kundalini unleashes our true essence. Where as the master who is glorified at this time stated, "Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you" (Luke 17:21 KJV). This Essene mystic new the mysteries, where Christ the Logos was to awaken the Christ the Sophia who fell into the pits to help those lost in the shadows (Pistis Sophia). Like the Christ, our beloved is none other than Wisdom herself, pure gnosis. As my hand progresses through my japa beads, already embodying my beloved like two poets lost in the most brilliant night, where our energy centers meet and synchronize like two different musical notes vibrating to match each other, my sober psyche is drunk with what I can only consider to be nothing less than soma. Not wanting more than to simply give my gratitude to the Shaktis that have been guiding me for aeons, here, I wasn't expecting much from this experience other than a quick hello to what may unveil itself to me. I knew my ego-mind won't keep me here long before I get in the way, I haven't quite resolved to handle this connection, so I stepped out knowing my bodily fatigue will exhaust this experience. As I stand and stretch, I began pacing back in forth in my bedroom before my altar attempting to maintain stillness of mind. Nonetheless, a fury of long-forgotten messages expel from my mouth into my lonely cave, messages of empowerment, words to run-a-fresh a broken soul who needed a new lease-on-life. All I did ask from myself is where these messages of a brighter future were coming from. The response did not identify itself by any name that would directed me to a form, nor did it disclose itself as my divine beloved, or any of the Shaktis that I was parlaying this dance. It was more like my divine beloved and her family brought me here. As I stood in awe in what I may have tapped into, and what this may possibly mean, the essence simply identified itself as one concept, "Source". Never have I been able to ground something such as this while out of meditation. It's like the tables have turned, where instead of reaching out to something, this something is reaching out to me. Not only have I been gifted with a new sense of well-being, but the timing seems ripe during this holy cyclical event of resurrection. To tap into our original essence, our seed that matures into what we call "reality", I can't help but feel my search is over. Or, is it only beginning?
When I finally decided to watch his youtube videos, I noticed a sense of calm come over me, something I had noted that I would only attain in meditation. Under that calm, I began stretching my back, particularly my lower back, in trying to stretch-out and massage muscular kinks that have developed from a consistent "sitting" lifestyle as demanded in the western educational/work culture. I felt good, calm, and the muscles around my spine (including psoas) was beginning to feel more comfortable. The youtube video was simple yogic-philosophy, but Yogiraj would reference other cultures and Madame Blavatsky indicating occult studies as well, which kept my intrigue. Nonetheless, at the end of this particular video, Yogiraj stated that his audience all had screwed up spines and he was attempting to work on all of us. Needless to say, my jaw dropped and my thoughts ceased all with the shock of "what the fuck just happened". Again, in listening to his video, I was moved into a state of sensation that I managed to only experience in meditation, including the stretch and relaxation of the spine. I was immediately sold on the Kriya Yoga tradition, its psychic/siddha capabilities, where I have adopted some of their techniques into my base meditative practice. In his book Babaji; The Lightening Standing Still, Yogiraj indicates that Babaji is none other than Goraksha Nath, one of the main teachers of esoteric Hinduism (Nath meaning "School"). Further, Goraksha Nath is none other than Lord Shiva himself. Growing up in a typical Hindu household that loved and worshiped Shiva along with Vishnu, I was opposed to Shiva Shankar, the Shiva in form and his puranic-based stories. However, it wasn't until I read the Siva Sutras that I began to truly understand who or what Shiva actually is, and what he actually taught, yoga. More importantly, reading the Siva Sutras felt more like "remembering" as opposed to learning a new concept. It was like my neural pathways were already there, just being further solidified, particularly in my understanding of the "I Am That" concept as articulated in the Siva Sutras. However, prior to reading the Siva Sutras, I was doing a monthly meditation regarding each Sephirot of the Qabalist Tree of Life, beginning from the top with Kether. I only did this practice for four (4) of the Sephirot where the first three (3), the supernal triad, seems the most relevant for my own growth, where I may restart the practice when I feel it is relevant. Though the Qabalah is associated with Judaism, I studied this through Hermetic occult practitioners, as I feel a deeper connection to Egypt. Nonetheless, the meaning is the same, regardless of the symbols that are used. It was the meditative practice on the supernal triad that paved the way for me to grasp the Siva Sutras, as I associated this triad with the "I (Kether; Infinite Potential), Am (Chokmah; Divine Will/Conduct), That (Binah; Divine Wisdom/Creation)" concept. Hence, the correlation between Qabalah and Shaiva-Tantra. Moses is considered to be the Father of Judaism, not Adam. However, many tend to forget the fact that Moses was raised as an Egyptian prince, which entails attending the Egyptian mystery schools. Using my imagination, it's hard to see Moses sitting and learning with Rabbi's, the way Jesus did as a child. As an Egyptian prince, it's hard to grasp that Moses would sit and learn from the Hebrews who were allegedly enslaved (those who win the war write the history books, in this case, the old testament). This would be like Christian missionaries learning and practicing the spiritualism of their victims (Even the current Pope concedes the brutality of early Christian missionaries, something my own lineage can evidence, for those offended by the term "victim"). Nonetheless, it doesn't matter whether it was Egyptian or Hebrew, it's beautiful nonetheless and we have the occultists and Hebrews to thank for preserving these concepts and practices (If you have a problem calling it Egyptian or vice-versa, that is where the "ego" becomes limiting where one is more absorbed in titles and identities as opposed to the enlightenment).
Going back to the Kriya Yoga tradition, practitioners tend to develop psychic/siddhi abilities, including tapping into the universal library, the akashic record. Not quite sure if this is how Yogiraj, who is a Sat-Guru (Brahman: Sat-Chit-Ananda), was able to gather certain information, his articulation of Moses in Babaji seems to resonate with my prior experience and logical understanding. As described, Moses was initiated by Shiva Goraksha Babaji on Mt. Sinai, where Yahveh is Mahankal (MahaKala-Shiva-Time), The Great Time. Moreover, Moses was to end idolatry where man worshiped external-form, to find divine consciousness within. Taking this one step more into the esoteric, from sources long lost to me, it was my understanding that Moses first attained the Qabalah on Mt. Sinai, where Moses found the majority of his followers worshiping the symbol of the prior astrological age and not ready for such advanced teachings. Hence, Moses provided the masses with the Commandments (It is argued that it was more than 10), while a chosen few received the Qabalah. That makes sense in the dual representation of Judaism, holding a written and oral tradition, where the oral tradition most likely needs to be an experience from a prior practitioner, like in Tantra (Shaktipath/Shekinapath). The esoteric similarities are beautiful and unifying, showing the power that humanity holds through consciousness. However, the masses would rather argue titles, racial/religious identities, that only inflate one's ego-identity. Religion has become a programming, where Spirituality is a deprogramming, a removal of the limitations that inhibit unlimited consciousness. Behind the masters of our traditions lies a deeper truth yet to be grasped, where sadly those attempting to discover these truths have been historically persecuted, be it Qabalists, Tantriks, and even Alchemists (Scientists).
Nonetheless, the age of information is uncovering and revealing what the elite have attempted to keep covered. That is the apokalypsis, the great revelation. Higher Self is a concept talked about in almost all esoteric traditions, and some exoteric traditions such as Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita. Communion with Higher Self is the initiation that is required to grasp divine will, which is the divine logos or masculine. Even the Gnostic Christian text, the Pistis Sophia, describes two (2) Christs: 1) Christ the Logos; and 2) Christ the Sophia, or the divine feminine. In all esoteric work, such communion is a stepping stone to fully engage in spiritual practices and it is what Aleister Crowley hinted towards with his motto, "Do What Thou Wilt". Do what thou "will" doesn't correlate to "doing whatever you want" as espoused by exoteric in their attempts to demonize Crowley, who was more than accepting of such backlash, but is an attempt to find one's divine will where Crowley concludes with "Love is the Law, Love under Will".
However, the appearance and location of such beings doesn't really attest to what "Higher Self" actually entails. We are to assume that such out-of-this-world type beings are extremely more advanced than humanity, or at least not tied to the wheel of samsara that perpetuates humanities suffering. Even going back in Hinduism under Puranic literature, we have the world filled with phenomenal beings with strange technology and weaponry that can only be described by our current human frame of thought as genetic manipulations, atomic-nuclear weaponry, and ufo-vimana based space crafts. However, these are all just external interpretations, that leave one wondering what Higher Self actually may be and its potential. It took me probably two years of seeking, and using the law of attraction to manifest the highest information possible, to even get a glimpse of a logical understanding of what Higher Self may be. New Agers, Light-Workers, etc., all seem to discuss this expansive state of awareness, but can only describe it through how it makes them feel. Nonetheless, it is through Tantric Literature and wonderful commentaries posed by devotees, that I can begin to understand my Higher Self experiences from a logical perspective. After all, it is through these traditions that we have learned about Kundalini and the Chakras, stemming from secret Goddess traditions in India. Shaivism (Christ the Logos; Divine Masculine): Shaiva's and the likes are the shamanic traditions of India, where internal practices are stressed over ritualistic practices more closely aligned with the Vedic traditions. In addition, Bhakti (worship) is associated with Shiva, who is worshiped as Higher Self to be found and invoked within, as opposed to worshiped externally. But why Shiva, and not any other deity in the numerous pantheon found in Hinduism? Because Shiva is the ultimate yogi, the "yoke" between spirit and matter, who teaches the world to deify itself, or realize its own divinity. To take this one step further is what makes Shiva different, is his state of consciousness, Turiya aka Higher Self. In these yogic teachings, there are three main states of consciousness: 1) Waking; 2) Dreaming; and 3) Deep Sleep. Deep sleep can be associated with the unconscious and subconscious, where also the collective consciousness plays a role. The realization that you are simply the "knower" or "experiencer" of all three (3) states of consciousness is the fourth state of consciousness, Turiya. Within the unconscious subconscious, we tend to house quite a bit of ourselves, including issues we attempt to ignore only causing such issues to manifest in our external circumstances. To become aware of what lurks in this state of consciousness requires self-reflection, our own personal "judgment day". From hypnotherapy, we discover that we are controlled by hidden programming lurking deep within our psyche. With certain professionals, such as Dolores Cannon, we find that such issues can stem from prior life-times. Nonetheless, just as a candle flame dispels the darkness, our simple observatory awareness is enough to loosen the hold such issues pose on our psyche. Hence being awake/aware to what lurks within under deep sleep, our subconscious, is a key to unlocking who we are and why we have certain circumstances in our lives. Dreaming is another state of consciousness, one that we can manipulate as taught by Tibetan Tantriks in teachings that create lucid dreams. From personal experience, lucidity begins within a dream where you realize you're dreaming. From there, one can proceed to move things around at will, though my experiences quickly diminish after such realization where I typically wake up thereafter. Nonetheless, here certain practitioners continue to do their spiritual work and exploration. Nonetheless, to be an observer within this state of mind seems to pose endless possibilities, where one quickly realizes that they control the dream matrix. Lastly, the waking state is a bit odd and filled with numerous facets. We can choose to be the observer of our surrounding presence or our thoughts. Nonetheless, as opposed to looking at these state of consciousness as simply an observer, as observer of our surrounding and thoughts, we tend to get lost in our surrounding or thoughts letting the external circumstances control our awareness, as opposed to vice-versa (which is fine, we like to enjoy and get lost in our movies). Further, via law of attraction teachings, which I believe falls under "spanda" for Shaivas (though I still have quite a bit more to learn), our waking state can become like the lucid dream state, where we should be able to manifest the reality of our choosing, within the parameters of the collective belief systems. After all, the ancient mystics have consistently told us that what we deem to be reality is an illusion, or a holographic projection of consciousness, where law of attraction teaches to make this illusion lucid. Therefore, to be Higher Self entails being awake/conscious/lucid of our awake state, dream state, and deep sleep state. Shaktism (Christ the Sophia; Divine Feminine): Kashmiri Shaivism seems to be solidified through the works of Abhinavagupta, who in his magnus opus, the Sri Tantraloka, indicates that if you can't find a human guru to help you with initiation, then turn to Adi-Shakti herself, Ma Kali, as she will initiate you. As someone who has astrological aspects that makes me despise guru worship, etc., as well as choosing to remove all societal-religious imposed limitations to seek to be unlimited, this was the best suited path for me. Given my love for this aspect of the divine, this path was probably the most easiest and most fun for me, my "permission slip" as Bashar would say. Kali is associated with numerous Tantrik Goddesses (particularly Mahavidyas), where in Tantra, the wisdom and capabilities found in other deities should simply be instilled within the deity of your choice in order to evade being distracted. In other words, learn from other deities, but try to avoid constantly switching between them where the one chosen should hold the essence of all Tantrik deities. (Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, Guide To Dakini Land). As has been my experience, Kali works at the roots of the issues, while other more common deities in the Hindu pantheon will take a calm approach. Hence, Tantrik deities are the fast pass, a "no pain no gain" type of initial experience. In other words, they don't hesitate to put you in your place. Tantrik Goddesses are almost always associated with the Kundalini energy slumbering at the bottom of one's spine, where Higher Self may reside in the higher chakras, particularly the 8th chakra above the Crown. An even fiercer form of Kali is when she is three (3) times as vicious as Tripura Bhairavi. Bhairavi as the feminine counterpart to Bhairava (Shiva in his "terrible" form) consists of Tripura meaning the three state of consciousness described above, and three (3) words: Bhavana (to manage); Ravana (to draw within); and Vamana (to expand). Hence, the generator (G), operator (O) and destroyer (D) paradigm that is exoterically associated with Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva, is esoterically found within Bhairavi(a). Hence, Bhairavi instills the G-O-D paradigm within the three (3) states of consciousness, which is the ability to create, manage, and destroy within the three (3) worlds.
Oddly, Tripura Sundari is not common for a Hindu household, though she permeates numerous other deities, including Krishna who is said to have invoked her essence, and Lakshmi similarly holds the title "Sri" and shares in the Sri Yantra. No doubt the Vaishnavas hold Krishna as their Tantrik deity, and Krishna is said to be the only essence to completely embody Brahman, or to fully accomplish the alchemical marriage within a human body. Moreover, Tripura Sundari is known to have a cult of her own as the Sri Vidya cult, with Vidya being sanskrit "vid" meaning to know (gnosis). Hence, just as the esoteric Christians had their Sophia, Tantriks have their Vidya. Often portrayed as a 16 year old as Sodashi, she represents the beauty of entering adulthood while still holding onto a childish heart, a Kumari, where as Jesus said, "...[t]ruly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3 NASB). Sodashi represents the pinnacle of spirituality, as she is symbolized as the peak of Mt. Meru, the abode of the Gods as expressed in her geometric form, the Sri Yantra.
Conclude:
In summation, the essence of Higher Self is to not only be awake/aware of the three (3) states of consciousness, but to be the most beautiful in all three (3). Law of attraction wise, to feel what it's like to be the most beautiful and consciously present in your waking state, in your dream state, and within your subconscious, seems to be the key to unlock our divine potential and manifest our very own heavenly abode, our own Mt. Meru.
In order to potentiate the experience, the ego-identity should be subdued to allow transmutation. In other words, our head can't get in the way, a typical problem that arises in attempting to unite with something more expansive. Hence, a practice geared towards stillness is key, where in order to experience the expansiveness of spirit, ego-death (removing the human/animal identity) is needed to experience a broader state of awareness. These states of consciousness are significantly broader than human constructs. Hence, typical traditional, cultural, and societal beliefs, all designed to manage our material world, hinder our conception of the spiritual world. That is why in Hinduism, four stages of life are depicted, with the first two stages geared towards management of the material world (including religion), and the last two stages geared towards discovering "Self". Hence, the final two stages are geared towards hermitage (getting away from society, tradition, culture), then as a wandering ascetic (to teach what has been experienced in a materially detached manner). Jesus, Siddhartha, and Mohammed practiced such hermitage, where what was learned was dispensed to the public thereafter. Do note, that none of these three taught or fully expressed themselves before their hermitage experience, nor were they attached the material world thereafter. In order to understand spirit, what we know of and understand spirit to be needs to be diminished, where knowledge is also considered maya, an illusion. Those that have pierced beyond the veil, speak of it in terms above Chuck Palahniuk's "Fight Club", where it is not that you can't talk about it, it's more like there are no vocabulary terms to describe it, as it is simply an experience. Hence, terms like Brahman and the Tao are used to describe this expanse, but feels unknowable by the definitions provided by our masters. Even the term "Allah", which is an Arabic generic term for "God" used before Islam, and used today by Christians in the middle-east, means "No-Thing", as in the indescribable beyond the tangible world of form. Hence, once the tangible is blown-out, Nirvana, what remains is the experience of the formless, Samadhi.
Most exoteric religions and their practices fall under dualist teachings, the right hand path. Duality, or Dvaita-Vedanta beliefs are that we have an individual soul that is separate from the almighty soul aka God. Because of the separation, the human containing the soul has to follow righteous disciplines in order to purify oneself in order to liberate the soul. This is where concepts of morals, ethics, etc., all come into play creating external practices to avoid or cleanse oneself of "sin". However, the majority of tantrik practices are non-dualist teachings, the left hand path (Within the left hand path, you have another grouping of right-hand/left-hand which is more akin to light/dark, hence, high tantra and low tantra). Nonduality, or Advaita-Vedanta holds that the individual spirit known as Atman is not separate, but the same as Brahman. As described in the Upanishads as well as the Shaivas practical text the Vijnanabhairava, Atman is like the air inside of a jar, and Brahman is the air outside of the jar. Hence, the whole purpose of higher tantrik practices is to associate with the air within and around the jar as opposed to the jar itself. In the material world, our culture, traditions, societal structures, our learning, etc., is all associated with the jar. By identifying with the jar, what many label as the "ego", we perceive our relative existence with limitations, all of which have been defined and created by society. Hence, our minds become completely associated with the jar, and those of the dualist path seek external guidance [Deity(ies), Angels, Etc.]. We've (as in our Spirit) has gotten completely lost in the realm of matter, in the realm of separation, that even many in Advaita-Vedanta (including myself) use separate spiritual guidance to tap into one's own inner resonance. It's like dualist teachings are a stepping stone to recognize our connection with everything, the "all that is" permeating from source. Again, so why the odd practices? To realize Advaita is to realize that spirit is always pure and pristine despite what occurs in matter. In other words, our soul has always been and remains untainted, despite what occurs in the material realm of density. Nonetheless, we're so psychologically ingrained with dualist cleansing teachings of pure and impurities, that "extreme" practices are needed in order for one to realize that Brahman still flows through you as it flows through all, within this illusory game that we're all playing (Maya-Lila). Add law of attraction beliefs in the mix where beliefs manifest in the material realm, imagine the experience one creates for his/herself with constantly labeling and believing oneself to be a "sinner". The majority of us walk around with such sentiments, not knowing that such beliefs manifests itself through our experiences. So long as one seeks "Self", the Brahman behind the jar labelled as Atman, sin is an illusory construct that must be removed not just consciously, but subconsciously, which becomes difficult given that Yogis (meditators; consciousness explorers) have realized that the subconscious is also tied to the collective conscious. Hence, the need for odd external practices are for those that cannot remove the psychological guilt of sin, shame, etc., that has been forced upon our psyche from birth (and prior life-times) given the dominance of dualist teachings, and the elites attempt to manage humanity.
Though I'm a bit different, where I also call on the lighter shades akin to angelic kingdoms of the most humble Christs. For that is my interpretation of nonduality, it is all one. My current spiritual practice looks more like peace-loving hippie vibes, as compared to my prior Crowley-style magick where I was trying to discover the truth of such material. Nonetheless, now I see that both paths hold the same aim, to connect with the Higher Self aka Holy Guardian Angel. The is the practice of Self-Empowerment, not empowering an external entity. I consider Jesus and Christ teachings to be one of the greatest blessings I've received in this life, but I also consider the road of bringing light/wisdom to be my path. Basically, I see Jesus differently then the modern typical Christian, whose logic I cannot fathom. To love the beauty recognized in our separation where God is something more expansive than our human-selves, or to love the brilliance recognized in our connection to "all that is" showing us that we are more expansive than what we have thought ourselves to be. That's really the difference between the right hand (Dualist/Exoteric/Separation) and left hand (Nondulaist/Esoteric/Unity) path. I do not subscribe to a "jealous" god, or one that demands that I call it a particular name, or face the infernal wrath of a hel(l). To me, that sounds like manipulative domination, as opposed to liberation. I subscribe to a path that uses guides to help me recognize the divinity within. We see the humility and compassion that is Jesus, the one who asked for our karma to be forgiven. But, to feel the same with the opposer, sheitan, is another story where we've been raised to deny our darker shadow selves, our base-animal reptilian-brain complex, that was meant to really be synthesized with our higher self (Spirit+Matter). We don't love the opponents, those that make us heroes on our journeys, including the inner-opponent that we try to bottle up or deny. The aspects of the Universe that we find to be dark, are only different shades of the one infinite light. For a candle flame enlightens a darkened space, but the dark space doesn't harm the light. Knowing the darkness found within (and without), and bringing love and light to such, is to integrate the shadow side, ... you know, that thing Jesus taught, forgiveness. For one cannot heal one's own darkness, without shedding some love and light on it. That's the judgment that we meet when we find ourselves in deep reflection, you know, that place of our Cross-roads. It is the clearing of that which is hidden within our subconscious, which manifests as blocks that inhibit our full expressions. In my innerchild healing meditation, it was that 16-20 something early college self, where that innerchild wanted to be called "hellfire", a rebellion springing forth as a result of a fear based condemning Christian education. But this innerchild aspect wasn't some rebellious stage, it was my search for something more beyond the box of faith-based religion, something the masses could not understand and would possibly fear, as shown through historical persecution resulting in "secret" societies. This meditation was a feeling of integration of two separate halves of myself. I saw and felt what it would be like for Jesus to hold and completely love Lucifer (the collective belief is that of an "evil" being, not the historical "light bearer", which can appear in our subconscious as it is tied to the collective conscious). I felt Lucifer in the form of Baphomet, protected by Anubis, where Lucifer actually felt loved by Jesus and shockingly returned the same. Spirituality is a paradox, hence the highest is not some form, but it is "truth" only found in "wisdom". We are Spirit, and these characters are merely archetypes that we seek to unite psychologically, hence, yoga. It is a practice to truly understand who we are and what we are capable of doing with our consciousness
My meditation concluded with visuals of Jesus and Lucifer in complete transparent embrace, as if they were actors playing a role, but recognizing who they were behind the character, one. For was not the being who tempted Jesus while Jesus practiced his meditation, none other than Jesus' own shadow emerging to be recognized and enlightened, just as we all face our own inner-"demons"? This is a teaching that will be difficult for many to embrace externally, as well as within themselves. This may be the reason why esoteric sciences have been kept hidden, for it is hard to love what is often feared, especially something lurking within ourselves. The goal is to integrate, transcend, and ascend to the next level, or what the masonic George Washington would say, apotheosis.
Ascension. On this blessed 11:11, I sat meditating on my balcony soaking the warmth of the radiant sun. For me, when I'm able to relax into the intensity of the heat, I feel like I'm being slowly warmed into relaxation. It's an excellent feel to get in deeper, get the thoughts to quiet especially after the wonderful catalyst of an election where a loud mouth neanderthal (fear no logic) outwit the most dangerous gang on the planet (fear with logic), I was subdued into recognizing how far it is that I have come internally. From my personal catalysts triggering in early 2014, I was led down a road around heavily seeking the real power we hold within, the good esoteric stuff filled with tantric fokelore. I had time on my hands, and I really wanted to shift my life in a different direction. I didn't conceive then what that might entail, the psychological dissection moving me in every which bi-polar way, into what seems to never-ending bursts of bliss to spiraling fathoms of doubt. Strapped with a few gemstones, tantric mantras (Matra/Padmasambhava), a wealth of knowledge from years of intense reading birthing from childhood, and the use of taoist breathing techniques, I purged and damn did I purge! While on my balcony, I recognized where I was then, to where I am now with the ability to tap into mindful and no-mind bliss. To be in this state, is really to have released enough attachments to recognize the still of the mind. These attachments are a constant adornment from what we perceive with our senses, to what we use to dull our senses, where many just never think to quietly subdue our senses. Anything triggered is really something up to be purged, which I now leave to drift into an imaginative flower to be removed from my personal space, psychic ninja style. Given that I have been doing this long enough, I am not so much triggered by the occurrences of the physical world. Being an empath, empathy still illogically rules me even when I have no comprehension why, I can at least stay quiet now, present to the blissful vibrantly colorful moment. Moreover, much of what use to trigger me, is now blissfully quiet. My waters prefer stillness. This past few days have been another story. Post the apocalyptic election, I have been triggered, not by the election result which actually worked out in my favor in preferring the quickest catalyst, but by the turmoil resulting where the masses have been instantly affected by something solely perceived through media sources. Many of us will not see these politicians in the flesh, but the reality show of advanced politics caused a raucous showing how easy it is for the elite to affect our vibration, feeling, beliefs, actions. Hence, the reason why of the possibility of the Caucasian George Soros funding the Black Lives Matter movement. It's just advanced politics, how easy it is for the elite to move the pawn pieces. It's all in the media, filling up the masses field of awareness, there is no other way to think for those drunk on this illusory heroine. I was triggered by the fact that my people, my loved ones, simply fell for it! They lowered their vibration in this pivotal time of expansion. In them being triggered, I was also triggered, and realized, still more purging. The sun is penetrating it's heat by now, I'm snapping in and out of thoughts in my attempt to clear them, I realized that my mouth was verbalizing a mantra to Cinnamasta seeking for wholeness, where Kali's presence was felt behind me. Here, I realized that the Feminine Divine that I have sought out had walked me through my path at each and every step, including the darkest of times. Having verbalized her mantric seeds, as I faced my shadows, fears, weaknesses, self-victimization to the point of blacking out being the only option, in her terrible form frightening away the greatest of tragedies, she let me know that she had my back more than I could imagine. Knowing her to be nothing less than the Queen of Wisdom, the sensation of confidence rushed me with an immediate kick of upliftment. It's not that I have to face my fears or go through trials and tribulations. Really, each moment is created for our best outcome. Each moment is created by our Higher Self, our own self, for the purpose of the wisdom that we seek within ourselves. In my 31 years, I discovered a feeling vibrating from the Feminine Divine's words, an emotion of something I had been told about all my life from Hindus and Christians. A concept that has always alluded me in my seeking leaving me hypercritical of those who portrayed having it. It was simply faith. I discovered Faith as not something to believe in, but a wellspring that needs to sprout from within using experience. It seems faith is not up for logical dissection, but an intuitive harmony lighting the path. Because of this feeling of faith, the triggers that arose in wishing to release the fears and anguish of humanity, especially of my loved ones, was released. I suddenly remembered that every one is connected with Higher Self with their lives also designed and crafted with such blessings regardless of holding faith. Everyone is on their own journey, and many need to traverse such triggers to be the Heroes of their stories. I needed to remember and have faith that all is crafted for the divine's delight, our divine comedy. I continued to release the triggers to bask in the holy light of my conscious awareness, feeling the macrocosmic pull within the microcosmic design. If I can't have faith in myself yet still under the guise of duality believing the divine to be separate from me, then faith in an external divine is sufficient until source is completely driven from within. This 11:11 moment of manifestation, looking through my third-eye periscope beyond our advanced lesson in civil karma, I feel pretty damn good for what's about to come.
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AuthorOverly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil. "It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
-James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions Archives
August 2019
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