In Hinduisim we have a saying, "when the student is ready, the teacher will come". Since I was a child, so many alleged teachers have stepped into our family households. We've had brilliant Vedic practitioners, devotional monks, fundamentalists (from numerous religions), and sometimes a few esoteric oddballs that don't seem to fall into a category. Overall, even if the "teachers" had some legitimate teachings, I was really turned off by spiritual car salesman pitch. Because of my refusal to submit to any particular teaching, mixed with the desire to know that there is more out of life, out of spirit, I can feel that I've been divinely guided. In my search for higher truths, or beliefs that are more-in-line with spirit, I've since realized the Universe herself is my teacher.
I've had a natural inclination to devote to a divine entity upon walking this earth. Hence, our ancient spiritual stories ring true in my heart. My search is for the highest, which I felt as a child was Shiva, our Transcendent Lord. It was not until I seen a woman standing on my guy, that I had to realize that there is always another level. Nonetheless, reaching for the great Divine Mother of Illusion, Mahamaya, the Goddess known as Kali, the space/time fabric of our Universe, to help me seek wisdom has been the only main submission for me.
Though I still seek "gurus", and revel in numerous teachings crafted by humans, I cannot submit to one guru, one philosophical concept, one community. Though I also have a natural inclination to despise hierarchy and authority figures, as depicted in my astrology chart, my path is to follow my own resonance. I seek the blessing of my divine Goddess, and from there, I follow each of my intentional seeking moments with a synchronistic pull. Instead of following one teacher and going step by step, I simply follow my own inner feeling into what seems most spiritually elating. Hence, though with numerous teachers, I follow my own path in sorting through what's out there.
In doing this work without a set guru, a set community, a set boundary spiritual system, I've realized that it's painfully lonely, emotionally debilitating, and psychologically chaotic, but I see results. I'm not recommending this route for others, where it's much safer to walk a path that already has some guiding footsteps. In fact, even my path has many much older footsteps, it's just that I'm choosing which direction without care to my sanity.
I've since realized that I could have fallen off the deep end psychologically with the practice that I've done. After all, most people live their life never giving a second thought to having a "shadow side", and what could possibly be hidden in such depths. I've recognized that having devotion to a divine entity was my saving grace, who was able to cut through the dark vines to help me gain clarity when consciously lost in the dark.
In following my own inner feels, in my lack of submission, I feel deeply accomplished differing from other spiritual individuals who cite to other individuals for guidance. I mean, I do that too, but only when it feels right with my own inner resonance which I make sure I churn with analysis. If a guru tells me to stay indoors during a lunar eclipse without rationale, I'm the type to say fuck that, and invoke the moon as I have done written in a prior post.
Given that my practice is all about trial and error, the numerous synchronicities, the substantial changes both physical and within my psyche, as well as having the ability to tap into somethings that don't feel like my own identity but higher, all I can say is the Universe is the greatest teacher. When you allow her to be, when you're ready, she will be your greatest Teacher. Given the Universe is the illusion we see, she provides you with teaching in many ways, for those with eyes to see and ears to hear. Stay true to your inner resonance, be guided by what feels right for you.
We need to love our diversity. We're not all meant to wear the same shoes, and walk the same path. Regardless of what differing path we walk, we're all in this Universe together. We're all just trying to discover the truth about ourselves, about our spirit.
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Overly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil.
"It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
-James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions