Back in early 2014, when I felt that life was basically a "wall" for me, I met with a Vedic Astrologer in an attempt to get a glimpse of anything beyond that "wall". As I'm sure for all us, there is always something beyond the wall, but knowing it provides some hope when you feel like throwing in the towel.
One question that I had asked was rather intense, and I didn't know that it would lead me in a particular route. I had asked what was the purpose of all my spiritual practices? I've had a passion for the esoteric mysteries since boyhood, but started to feel like it was an entertainment-hobby. In other words, what are the fruits of this labor? I didn't really believe in the "do this and that" and you'll get to heaven dribble, provided that, for me, that sounds like an outright attempt to control/dominate someone.
The astrologer had simply responded to my spiritual question with simply more information about myself, my intuitive abilities, etc. I was left thinking to myself that he didn't answer my question. However, I realize I wasn't ready for the answer, which was really a deep philosophical question that was to unfold for me as opposed to be outright told. Sans any external permission-slip, when I'm ready, the answers will unfold.
To really get the grasp of my current understanding, I needed to psychologically depose myself and my beliefs/thoughts connected with my emotional body. Though they're teachers that express this process as unnecessary, it is nonetheless what I painfully went/going through. To really separate myself, my awareness from the story-identity-ego, is really being your own psychoanalyst trying to figure out why I believe in my short-comings. Going though this is to dive into your shadow side and face your demons. Where it seems that every other pre-2014 teaching I had come across and practiced was geared towards an outward divinity, usually one with it's own ego-identity story, to help with my life, I began moving more into going within. Inside I found emotional memories (blockages/binds/attachments) that seemed to manifest my personal limitations.
I can no longer find where I discovered this interpretation, however, I like seeing religion defined as re-legion, where the many become one. Through the sanskrit word yoga, we have the word yoke, meaning to bind. Spirituality seems to be best defined as dealing with spirit. So, within the symbolism of our metaphysics, we're given a glimpse of the answer that I was seeking. Through these symbols we find the aim of religion and yoga is to make an individual whole and complete, which I believe is the merge between spirit and matter originally found within the symbol of the equilateral cross. This is the merge between the Higher Self (spirit) and Ego-Identity-Story (matter/maya/samsara).
To bridge the gap between spirit and matter is my aim whenever I take part in religious, yogic, spiritual practices. It is powerful to simply be in the "intent" of making that one's goal, as I do believe the universe hears through the law of attraction. The heavens of the astral plane, or celestial-abode, that form-worshipers seek to attain is still within the illusion, maya, as described by yogis. Though such abodes are excellent heights to aim for, and I'm not here to deter anyone as I would love to make such pit-stops myself, but I seek the truth of myself/Self. Moreover, I prefer the idea of the many attempting deep inner practices (yoga) and coming together to discuss our findings (religion) to better understand the nature of Spirit (spirituality).
Now, I really can't identify myself, my identity-story, with the person that I was pre-2014. Any memory of those times that come up, seem to come up to be cleared. I'll use NLP, or just imagine my present self sending love to that self in that memory, if need be. That seems easier then dissecting and judging (seeking the truth, not punishing) that former aspect of myself. Overall, the emotion just needs to be cleared.
As I see it as I continue on my hero's journey, my goal is to continue to further myself to my Self. To unfold and unravel that which has limited me from reaching my true potential and accept the truth of myself. To bridge the gap of understanding and experiencing unlimited possibilities. To gain knowledge and experience wisdom. To come closer to the inner love and light within. Enlightenment. Reaching this full expression of Spirit, I hope to be liberated from all my limitations.
I think that's a way we can bridge the gap between: spirit-matter; brahman-brahma (kether-malkuth); atman-atom; and A'tem (Egypts first realized man)-Adam (Hebrews first man). It's our birthright, to face crucifixion on the equilateral cross.
Overly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil.
"It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
-James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions