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goddess kali drunkenly holds this adept's head,
as i spill all into the holy graal/kapala
​(!Kali Kaula!)

THE HERETIC (An Occultist's Assessment of Religious Christianity)

4/18/2019

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The Notre Dame Cathedral has quite a bit of reflection brewing among the collective. From my indigenous friends complaining how funds can easily be employed for a European monument but funds to protect nature and indigenous sacred land remain a debate, to essentially people getting annoyed stating "bigger" issues in the world, everyone appears to be vomiting some sort of issue these days. Nonetheless, it's the purge, a return to look at the way we have viewed each other, ourselves, and a constant return to look at old ways. In the U.S., wikileaks has taught me, most would rather eat-up the roughly six (6) corporate owned propaganda machine and keep their conditioned-ways of perceiving the world, then assess the actual truth. Go vote, while those you vote for slaughter the courageously honest. Give up your guns, with the police armed more than the military (look at Ferguson under Obama) and a Trump CEO-President where conservatives do not understand that running a government like a business is a dictatorship. Couch-potato liberty, so long as there is a boogey man to blame, and a neurologically conditioned sensory hungry human vessel, which has no idea how to harness the sexual-creative force, mass-media images are under the guidance of exactly how to satiate the human vessel, as well as invoke emotions to manipulate the human psyche. The early Romans knew how to use sports, creating the stadium as a way to distract the public from the failings of an empire. Your business men, your marketers, your religious spiritualists, understand Neuro-Linguistic Programming ("NLP") and the Law of Attraction at the occult level. Sheep are easily programmed, that's why some of us prefer the Goat! 
Yes, I'm in the camp that holds Notre Dame Cathedral special to me, as a student of the esoteric studies and overall, some of the most stunning art. My family visited London/Paris back around 2002, where the only main destination that I had chosen on that trip was Notre Dame Cathedral. I made my family walk to see this thing, including some of our more elderly. As like most Gothic Cathedrals specifically designed under esoteric studies, you enter the womb of the Goddess with it's many folds and gorgeous flower above the entrance. But not everyone can enter the domain of the Goddess, so you have Gargoyles protecting the premises, just as Goddess Chamunda has her bhutas. I still have a gargoyle candle holder purchased in Paris protecting my personal altar, so yes, Notre Dame is a bit more for me than a simple visit. It was a stepping stone on my development, and the memory of lighting a candle for the Divine Mother to bless the organization and all of her devotees, parishioners, and children (all that is), feels like a twist in my heart. Yes, it is a dark history, but a mystery that I loved unraveling during the age of Pisces, when one can step outside the egoic-story and see the world as a pretty cool "Game of Thrones" (The Mother of Dragons is a Dragon Herself!). Though I'll proudly admit that I'm more on the "Da Vinci Code" end, I will also suggest that the fire-burn may have been to remove certain esoteric hints. This is an organization that houses one of the largest libraries on the planet, but expects the rest of the planet to bow before one heavily edited book. ​
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"It’s her cathedral. But somehow, Our Lady has been forgotten." -catholicherald.co.uk
Given that Catholicism still holds derivative roots in the Roman traditions (Greek-Egypt, etc), where the Jesus story has been catered to follow the dying Solar God (Osiris), a natural phenomena of the Sun dying on Winter Solstice (Saturnalia) and rising again to bloom around Spring. Not all early Christians believed Jesus was crucified, not all early Christians believed Jesus actually existed (was a metaphor), and definitely not all early Christians agreed with the creator gods where the Serpent actually brought the Truth. The Roman empire understood the occult grounds of tapping into the astral realms (Yesod) to effect the material realms (Malkuth). Hence, the use of angels, "ascended" saints, and of course, Mother Mary remained in Catholicism. 

​The derivatives of Catholicism have further removed the feminine aspects, maybe due to occult reasons. As evidenced by John Dee and Queen Elizabeth, the early Anglican Church was not a stranger to occult sciences as well. In actuality, just as it is stupid not to study your business competitors, it is stupid not to study your alleged enemy. Astrology, Alchemy, and other such original sciences were practiced in both the Catholic and Angelican churches, but banned because such tools were used against each other in the push for religious dominance. Hence, demonize such tools for the masses instead of outright forbidding such practices, which would actually creates an attraction emotion, is a tactic to keep such tools in the hands of only the elite. Remember, the Catholic Church did try to control global time and astrological effects by and through the production of the unnatural and unharmonious Gregorian calendar. Some organizations exist to simply create disorder (chaos), such as the Jesuits, in order to move individuals into occult-egregore institutions and/or to push for a global ascension by and through a global "dark night of the soul". Heavens cause stagnation and indigency, Hells push evolution and growth. Creator gods teach form, to further trap you into a form (heaven), while the Destroyer gods teach you to look behind the form to the formless (Apokalpsis; Form depends on the illusion of time and space).  

Nonetheless, the feminine is a necessity for proper occult practices and spiritual development. Above the entry to the astral realms (Yesod) is the ability to harness the will (Hod; Masculine) usually conducted through ceremonial rituals which alter consciousness. Nonetheless, it is the emotional and fluid, the intuitive feeling (Netzach; feminine) which ensouls the the ceremonial rituals (Hod) for such astral workings to manifest on the material plane (Malkuth). Hence, to remove the "feminine" is to remove one's spiritual abilities, paving the way for a hierarchical control systems by and through a religious middle man system. The feminine (Binah), is an aspect of the One consciousness (Kether) as it flows into manifestation (Malkuth), subjugation of such only hinders one's abilities, and ensues patriarchal psychological conditionings embedded in both genders. Each individual holds both nadis as the ida (feminine) and pingala, (masculine), androgynous as Adam-Lilith Kadmon or Ardhanarishvara, where it appears based on the tantras, that one gender archetype tends to take the role of teaching the other gender archetype during differing yugas, as both are balanced until inner completion. In occult-spiritualists practices, such includes sexual-alchemy of using sexual hormones to shift already altered consciousness for actual gnosis-communion with the divine, which can often be mistaken as physical sexual union. Sadly, the closest state to higher gnosis the average individual may experience is that of the sexual orgasm, or the "la petit la mort" where the egoic-story and egoic-persona are "dead" for a momentary glimpse beyond the world of forms. Hence, sex has always been sacred and a means to commune with the divine. Such is found through the early Protestant group, the Moravians, where Jesus' wound from the "spear of destiny" was viewed as a vagina, while the sexually straight male and female adept could all be in courtship with Jesus, rendering many mystical experiences. Mystics such as William Blake were heavily influenced from such traditions. (Schuchard, Marsha Keith, William Blake's Sexual Path to Spiritual Vision.). The Catholic Nun is considered a bride of Christ, is she not?
A [G]oddessless religion is half-way to atheism. In the word Elohim we find the true key. Elohim is translated "God" in both Authorised and Revised Versions of the Holy Scriptures. It really ought to be translated "God and Goddess," for it is a feminine noun with a masculine plural termination affixed...If we want equilibrium instead of our present condition of unequal stresses, we must worship the Elohim, not Jehovah. The worship of Jehovah instead of Elohim is a potent influence in preventing us from "rising on the planes," that is to say from obtaining supernormal consciousness as part of our normal equipment." - Dion Fortune, The Mystical Qabalah
Constantine's intent, three-hundred (300+) years after the life of Jesus (Essene as called by the Jews, as they were Gentiles) during the times of the Creed of Nicea, is still unclear on whether he was a convert, or strategists who found a way to save the failing Roman empire. Nonetheless, the differentiation between Catholicism and Gnostic teachings/texts is quite clear, where much of Christian colorings have little to do with Jesus, but have been usurped from many other traditions. Such includes the definitions of an afterlife, where Jesus described very little. The Kingdom of Heaven (Kether; Father/Self-Realization) being within you (Tiphareth; Communion with the Holy Gaurdian Angel), where Heaven is described as having "many mansions" feels more like a multi-dimensional consciousness (Astral Realms). In addition, Constantine's vision was of the symbol "Chi Rho" which paved the way for his conversion, which actually looks more like an "x" not the "t"-sign. In fact, it would be much easier to crucify on an "x" as opposed to a "t", where the "t"-cross was another adopted symbol. Why would the Romans inconvenience themselves for a punishment, and how does a body not slide of a cross? Christian education terribly tried answering these questions. Growing up surrounded by religions, I've truly felt like the self-hating Jew in the film The Believer, where fanatical belief systems that lead to oppression will create the Aleister Crowleys and Anton LaVeys in the world. The Roman Church may have been an early attempt to usurp the traditions of two groups they did not care for, the Jewish tradition and Gnostic Christianity, in order to continue the Roman empire. Not something new, as the Romans essentially ripped/merged their tradition from the Greco-Egyptian, and further made themselves blameless as Pontius Pilate washed his bloody hands.   

In truth, the incredible history of Italy is the reason why the early Catholic Church would need to be cut-throat, as Italy was invaded from all directions and still holds an interesting history that should beg any proper historian to look into secret societies. The corporate structure of the Church influenced global economics, but yet certain positions of power breed arrogance, especially when doctrinal rule is done by religious divine right not just as a messenger, but where the leader was to be considered an incarnation of the divine. Hence, the history of the Knights of the Templars (possibly early Freemasons) who broke bread with Muslim mystical hash dealers who taught them about the idea (not the image) of Baphomet. Hash being a conduit to the astral realms (Hod; symbolized by peyote), warriors from cults including the Order of Hashashin (Assassins), Knights Templars, to the secret Roman Mithraic (derived from Persian Avesta; also found in Indian Vedas), all held secret practices where removal of such in the hands of outsiders would be necessary to continue the existence of the Church. In other words, continue to get rid of the heretics as well as any traces of their history and existence, to keep the masses eating up the religious propaganda machine. ​
On the flip-side, the Roman Catholic Church is so much more than simply a political organization seeking tithing, future generations of parishioners (anti-homosexuality), and mass-control as providing religious laws to individuals eating up punitive "blind-faith" belief systems as opposed to understanding the dynamics of karma. Though certain individuals, such as Mother Theresa, held severe racially-ethnocentric and religious superiority programming as evidenced by non-Christian witnesses, where religious threats of hell dictated her conduct, St. Francis of Assisi is well-loved globally as the truth pervaded his being and even influenced the animal kingdom. That same truth, I felt through the Sisters and Padres of my high school. I still remember President Bush (W) bringing us to war, and our celibate Sister Jan holding a picture of an Israeli-Palestine couple deep in a kiss surrounded by war, stating with pride in her face, "isn't this the most beautiful picture you have ever seen". This elderly, exquisitely gentle Sister also stated, "if we are to fight over the Holy Land, then no one should have it, God should take it away from us!". I also remember Sister Pat, though a bit on the "aggressive" end, looking at a picture of Buddhist monks deep in meditation stating, "isn't that beautiful, look at that dedication, same God, different technique".  I have found such to be true in studying St. John of the Cross, who coined the term "dark (k)night of the soul". Again, "same God, different technique". So yes, I do love the Catholic tradition and her many mysteries, as well as my Catholic family. Like Ramakrishna, I find the same gnosis in every religion that I study, including the Left Hand Path. But, there is a difference between politics and spirituality, where much of the world has yet to consciously separate the two to properly discern spiritual truths over elite control mechanisms. 
As properly articulated through Dion Fortune's masterpiece The Mystical Qabalah, we in the material realm (Malkuth) have lost out connection to our higher self (Tiphareth-Son) which links us to Self Realization (Kether-Father; Father as defined in Christian theology). In between the higher self (Tiphareth-Son) and the material realm (Malkuth) is the astral planes (Yesod, Hod, Netzach). The astral planes can be viewed as the "hollywood set" for the show (Malkuth). However, energy flows in both directions, from Kether downwards and from Malkuth upwards. As Malkuth is mainly the realm of the egoic monkey-mind, thought-forms known in the occult as "egregores" are also projected onto the astral realms, creating and further coloring concepts such as heavens and hells, when the truth is there is only "consciousness" as "awareness" observing a "play", it doesn't have to get too caught up in samsara. Nonetheless, such fears of hells and further colorings only create and bolster such "thought-forms" which then plagues the astral realms. The adept is to rise above the heavens and hells of the astrals, where many energies or concepts typically represented symbolically as humans for monkey-mind understanding may assist or hinder the adept in moving closer to Tiphareth/Thagirion, or communion with one's Holy Guardian Angel (Intellect) or Shamanic Totem Animal (Instinct). (Samadhi/Kaivalya; See Karlson, Thomas, Qabalah, Qliphoth, and Goetic Magic; Svoboda, Robert, Aghora; Kundalini II). 
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Hence, such Qabalist understandings define not just major religions, but show that religions are rooted in Indigenous Shamanism. Moreover, the size of a religion which stresses "hell" and "demons" may be adding more issues into the astral realms, which the adept may need to navigate around for proper manifestation in moving down the tree (Malkuth) and for ascension moving up the tree at least to Tiphareth. ​
Jesus himself was one such adept as shown through his time in the Judea desert, being tempted by his own issues further evoked by astral parasitic egregores. By looking for the Kingdom of Heaven within (not with Pharisees and Sadducees), one first achieves communion with one's own holy Self at Tiphareth. Such an adept who has attained communion is considered the Son of God, as such an adept can show you the way and the truth to bring you back home to realizing our true Self at Kether. Finding consciousness outside of material realms of forms, and into the formless, to identity with the space between the atoms as opposed to the atoms themselves, to realize that which perceives through me is the same One that perceives through you, a multifaceted diamond with each individual face brilliantly shining to support the One (Yin/Yang not Light vs. Dark) is what the Qabalists (Pillar of Severity/Mercy), Hermeticists, Tantrics, Vedantics, Gnostics, Sufis, and Taoists taught. 

People that have disclosed such information have been historically persecuted as it goes against religious doctrine aka control mechanisms. I face the same worry, as I still remember the looks, smirks, and comments I got from the patrons of the same Catholic high school post 9-11, something odd given my background, but not odd understanding the psychology of conditioned minds where many in the U.S think India is in Africa. Or, how about when I used to secretly wear (shamefully, intentionally hide) my Shiva pendant at my Protestant elementary, understandable since Shiva is basically a guy holding a trident with a snake around his neck. Well, my beloved Kali-Mahavidya-Sophia has taught me that the word (tongue; Goddess Vak) is mightier than the sword. Should I be seen as Frankenstein's monster, all I can remember is the pain I felt when offering tobacco at the cemetery-smashan in front of the Church of sacred Wounded Knee, remembering Black Elk Speaks, the Ghost Dance, and the words, "Hokahey, Today is a Good Day to Die!". Yes, it is the masculine Osiris that dies. But don't forget that it was through Goddess Isis that we are reborn and we bloom. Just as Shiva suffered the pain of his chopped-up Sati, so I to understand Devi Isis' pain, where Osiris' Phallus is a reminder of the Divine Masculine and of the Crucified Rose. Though, I do not believe it was Set, as the lawyer is typically blamed with the client. 
In relieving my personhood, I do wish everyone a Blessed Ishtar (Ashera for the Semitic traditions; Bhuvan-Aswari for the Tantrik; Inanna, the original dying/resurrecting Goddess) and thank you Soul-Family for helping me speak up, as I am inspirited as you speak and live your truth. We are in this together, externally and internally, for there has never been separation other than what our monkey-mind has told us. I am pushing to love more and more outside of me beyond the internal cocktail dribble of serotonin and dopamine, as I learn to accept, love, and empower what is inside of me, including my shadow self. This memorial piece was an emotional roller-coaster for me as I dig deeper into my own truth. Thank you for reading. ​

He will tremble the nations
Kingdoms to fall one by one
A victim to fall for temptations
A daughter to fall for a son
The ancient serpent deceiver
To masses standing in awe
He will ascend to the heavens
Above the stars of God

-Year Zero, Ghost
​(Geburah; Golachab)

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    Overly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil. 

    "Samadhi/No-Mind" or the "I Am/Divine Presence" should Feel (Chit) like the Free-Falling Blissful (Ananda) Conscious (Sat​) State Post-Orgasm, Post Central-Nervous System Flush of the Body, Where the Adept simply Falls Quietly Deeper Within Themselves. A True Surrender of Letting Go, Journeying Down the Rabbit Hole.  A True Sacrifice of Egoic-Samsara, for Nirvana. 

    "It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
    -James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions
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