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goddess kali drunkenly holds this adept's head,
as i spill all into the holy graal/kapala
​(!Kali Kaula!)

The Breath of Siddhartha, Jesus, and Mohammed

8/30/2015

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Last night, I was thinking of fellow spiritual colleagues and their adventurous travels to mystical lands. At first, I thought it was odd and egotistical hearing "I've been to this sacred land" and "I've studied with this guru". Basically, it lacked depth. I started getting flashbacks to the film Eat, Pray, Love, that took me over three sessions to complete and left me thinking, "whatever".  Are these individuals looking for something deeper within themselves, or are they simply looking for a path distinct from the time driven socio-economic structure we're all born into? Simply, are they searching for another lifestyle not rooted in stressful competition to support our desire for incessant consumption. I couldn't help but remember a comedic yoga video found online representing the current state of the western commodity based exercise program. 
In this assessment, I realized my own arrogance. I would love to have the mystical pilgrimages to foreign lands, sitting at the feet of enlightened gurus in India, getting lost in the bliss that is the Temple of Dendera, climbing through the terrain that is Machu Picchu. Moreover, there's not much difference between studying the works of Yoganada-ji, the Hathors, or following the adventures of Drunvalo Melchizedek and David Hatcher Childress. So, using my initial negative assessment as a mirror, what was it that I was attempting to reflect back to myself?
In truth, most of us appear to be remedial with enlightenment. We're still trying to figure out who we are. Definitions of a simple creation or an evolution doesn't quite appeal to understanding the soul, especially when the mystics teach of a much closer link to God. That's my interest in treading a spiritual path. But even after all these years of studying, if anything, I feel I may be still  just scratching the surface with my limited understanding and possible experience with the "I Am" presence.  But, what would separate me from the average seeker who searches the world for mystical truth/experiences? How do I place myself among the ranks of our highly cherished gurus and masters that we honor in each of our societies?
Aleister Crowley appears to ask the same question in his work Mysticism, where he compares three individuals dominating our collective spiritual intellect: Siddhartha (Buddha), Mohammed, and Christ. In common, each individual had "disappeared" only to return with insight. Siddhartha left for the forest, Mohamed left for the desert cave, and Christ had solitude of the desert. Crowley further addresses that even in indigenous populations, an average individual will often leave the village for the wild, and return as a great medicine man. From all these individuals, only Siddhartha recounts his steps and practices of what occurred in solitude. Another words, what really occurred, aside from their teachings, that caused the awakening of these individuals and can we do the same? 
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Crowley further addresses the precincts of yoga where he expounds his extreme methods of practice. Extreme being in addition to the traditional postures, breathing, etc., he would cut himself every time a thought arose. However, more akin to what may have been the above masters setting, one of the major keys appears to be limiting all possible stimuli creating a fortress of solitude. As Crowley suggests, "the greatest intelligence is shown by those of solitary habits". 
It is by freeing the mind from external influences, whether casual or emotional, that it obtains power to see somewhat of the truth of things. -Aleister Crowley, Mysticism (Book Four).
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Going back to my logical dreamings of last night, I pictured Mohammed in a cave prior to his collaboration with Gabriel. In the cave, I saw nothing more than rock surroundings and a sunlit entrance. Then I pictured Christ fasting for forty days and forty nights. I was immersed in the sandy sunlit desert with no other stimulus. I really attempted to immerse myself in these fantasies like Einstein in his imagined laboratories. I would quickly become bored by the changeless surroundings leaving me to my thoughts. However, when seeking answers, we must first pose a question and then listen in the stillness of mental silence for the answer to what we seek. 
I found myself psychologically struggling with this idea of extreme solitude. In fact, I was getting imaginary flashes of being stuck in a straight jacket in an empty white walled room. There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. You're faced with the predicament of exploring the only avenue that you have, your self. As an introvert who needs space, solitude, and room to thrive, I know how easy it can be for the negative ego to begin to tear you away. In the western world of accomplishments, where yang energy of "do this, do that" dominates over its feminine counterpart, one can easily get distracted by what one thinks is a "purpose" in our lives. Taking, not a moment, but a sabbatical of reflection can easily lead to guilt of not doing. Even in considering the doing, all kinds of limiting beliefs may arise, including not being good enough, fear of the unknown, etc., among the plethora of sensations that make us feel human. By saying human, I'm not alluding to a positive quality, but qualities that appear to afflict each and every one of us. Again, I can only compare this to being in a straight jacket fighting with oneself. 
However, with the lack of stimuli, no goals for the future and the past being simply the past, what are you left with other than your breath. This also appears to be the only solution to the straight jacket scenario, accept, relax, and surrender (Assuming you're not Houdini). In relaxing, your breath becomes deeper and more calm, associated with your natural state of being. You're no longer irritating yourself fighting the jacket and are forced to deal and understand your predicament. Therefore, it appears that it was in the depths of their own consciousness once cleared of time (past experiences, future goals), cleared of all logical impressions of the moment, did Siddhartha, Christ, and Mohammed prevail leaving them only with their breath. 
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In summation, we often find ourselves grasping for something beyond our self, such as a mystical adventure, a guru, a secret mantra, and they are valuable tools in their own right and have furthered my own discovery. However, in the light of the three masters above, greatness seems to be achieved by diving into the depths of oneself, dealing with ones psychology, and closing our senses to the objective world and subjective interpretations thereof. Only then does it appear that we become the subject of idolatry among men worthy of espousing illumination. For which, only then does the seeker become that which is seeked. 
They'll go to sacred sites.
Yeah, and on pilgrimages.
They'll read books.
They'll look to other people.
But in the simplicity of each breath, it's occurring right under their noses!

-Panache Desai, Discovering Your Soul Signature
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    Overly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil. 

    "Samadhi/No-Mind" or the "I Am/Divine Presence" should Feel (Chit) like the Free-Falling Blissful (Ananda) Conscious (Sat​) State Post-Orgasm, Post Central-Nervous System Flush of the Body, Where the Adept simply Falls Quietly Deeper Within Themselves. A True Surrender of Letting Go, Journeying Down the Rabbit Hole.  A True Sacrifice of Egoic-Samsara, for Nirvana. 

    "It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
    -James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions
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