The full moon of October 16, 2016 feels like one for the records. My morning are normally spent fighting off thoughts, an attempt to keep mental serenity so I don't blow my fuse early in the day. However, this super moon, I woke up with clarity and and blissful sensation of emptiness inside. Like a still pond of water, there were no typical ripples to create waves of delusion. I was knowingly still, calm, refreshed, a feeling that I hoped would appear for me every following morning.
At that time, and based on some miscalculation, I had believed the full moon to have past on the prior Friday. I found out I was wrong on my nighttime drive home, riding out into the massive luminous moon beautifully shimmering, surrounded by dark clouds attempting to hide her glory. A moon like none other that I've seen, I yelped at her first sight. She was massive to the point where I had questioned her existence, or if she was just a painted illusion somewhat like the civilization bubble shown in Jim Carrey's "The Truman Show".
The past two weeks post the massive full moon was an energetic roller coaster. I've been completely exhausted, the tank feels like it's burning low-grade gasoline, another sensation which has been foreign to linger this long. Nonetheless, my emotional body seems to be completely untied to the energetic roller coaster. The thought-emotional body is interrelated, where our emotional body will often dictate the level of our thoughts. Hence, the concept "don't make decisions when angry". But, I'm clear. The waters are still. Though my consciousness may take a dabble into the doubtful depressive moments, the air above the stench is luxurious.
Though still exhausted, I feel free, flexible, flowing, and my intuition has been given significant upgrades. My meditative visuals and abilities are expansive as I explore new avenues of human/spirit potential. Triggers arising from day-to-day activities are logically noticeable, but almost emotionally irrelevant like my emotional body has better things to do, like linger in the blissful presence created in each moment. Visits from hummingbirds, baby hawks flirting in a busy parking lot, to continuing signs and synchronicity all beg for my attention as I place more importance on vibrations as opposed to actions. Colors of nature are lit, like moving from VHS to HD. I've never seen such luscious greenery from plants and trees that I thought I once knew.
In early 2014, I had asked a Vedic Astrologer, all my searching and practicing, what is it for? That was a question only I could answer. Now, I feel the distance of the individual who has asked that question, to what I am now. All my spiritual definitions and outlooks have changed. I no longer feel tied to my body, or a persona, but realize the expansive all encompassing nature of Spirit, of consciousness.
With joyful dedication to my practice to the divine Mother, probably my One main Guru among many teachers, in an attempt to recognize and remember my Self, I've become emptied, I've purged many delusions, I've shifted and strengthened my spine, I've dived into the most brilliant philosophies felt more intuitively and meditative techniques meant to awaken dormant faculties, I become something I can only define as truly me. Brahman, Bhairava, Tao, Nirvana are no longer philosophical concepts, but are places I consciously call home. For once, finally, my question of the divine's existence is unquestionable and it is easily recognizable within me, where I go for effortless worship. For once, I feel truly blessed.
All such practice is for nothing. Though my external circumstances currently appear not much different than my 2014 predicament, it's as though I'm being prepped for a planetary shift in consciousness. I feel like I am one of many on this route, light-workers is the label, to solidify the change. The theatrics of the absolutely awe dropping 2016 including the panama papers, gravitational waves, oppressed groups uprising including the Dakota Pipeline protests that look straight out of James Cameron's "Avatar" film, government/whistleblower disclosures, which is all moving towards the catastrophe of an election where one can only grab some popcorn and watch the drama unfold, 2016 is one for the history books.
And it's not over. It's only just begun.
Overly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil.
"It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
-James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions