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goddess kali drunkenly holds this adept's head,
as i spill all into the holy graal/kapala
​(!Kali Kaula!)

My Dance With The Goddess

8/20/2015

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The divine Sophia I have loved and sought since my youth; I have desired her to be my spouse. Ever have I loved her beautiful, radiant form." - Giordano Bruno
Raised in a Hindu home, the Goddess was always present, but her importance was subtle. At a young age, my imagination would drift into ancient lands playing in the arena of either the Mahabharat or Ramayan, they typical male "hero's journey". I would find bliss in whatever mythological adventure my imagination would invoke. Then, an Indian Guru stepped into my budding youth named Gopeshwari Devi aka Didi Ji. My lack of Hindi left much to discovery. But what I gathered was that her choice of divinity was Radha in the Radha/Krishna lila(dance). Her passion fueled a desire to better understand the feminine archetype at a time where it had appeared that the Goddess was simply a consort.   
Thereafter came Dr. Ol Doinyo Laetoli le Baaba aka Kali Baaba. Still a prepubescent, my older relatives brought this well versed/traveled mystic into our home, where he expanded the idea of the feminine through Kali. As her famous image portrays, the image of Kali over Shiva taps into the psyche with dominance over the male counterpart, something incomprehensible in the Radha/Krishna play. I was enamored with the image, not in the dominance sense, but as if She was resurrecting Him. It's through Kali's image that the power of Shakti prevailed, where I feel that limiting God to one gender is basically, limiting God. Unlike other female deities in the Hindu pantheon with dominant male companions, including Durga who was still created and further supported by the weapons of her male creators, Kali appears to outright challenge her consort with equal (if not superior) power. 

At Kali's arrival, I was still in Protestant Elementary School. To note a fellow associate's assessment, "if you weren't Christian, you were persecuted at this school". For the life of me, I could not accept the lack of the feminine in their inculturation. Unlike Catholicism, the divine Mother archetype is significantly reduced, and her importance is left solely to being a baking oven. It wasn't until Catholic High School that I regained a respect for Christianity. The nuns embodied the feminine showing a compassion for other religions expressing we're all worshiping the one, as well as supporting romantic inclinations between Palestinian and Israeli citizens fueling the need for love in a society filled with hate, akin to Romeo and Juliet.  

As time proceeded, Mother Mary fit in perfectly and was often a supplement to other feminine archetypes such as Quan Yin and Tonatzin (Catholicism attempted to usurp both). But the dark Goddess kept her intrigue and always carried a place on my altar. Flash forward to a little over 10 years with my credential schooling behind me, I had the time again to revisit my Dark Goddess where little did I know, she would take me through an adventure into the realm of the Feminine Archetypes.  
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Abhishek Singh
Flash forward to a little over 10 years with my credential schooling behind me, I had the time again to revisit my Dark Goddess where little did I know, she would take me through an adventure into the realm of the Feminine Archetypes. 
In returning to a regular meditation routine, one mantra made Her way into my life making me psychological re-live my past. Such was done to clear my emotional body as She takes you to the root of your psychological limitations. As expressed in the Siva Sutras, 2:1, "[b]y intensive awareness of one's identity with the Highest Reality enshrined in a mantra and thus becoming identical with that Reality the mind itself becomes free." In other words, a mantra is a tool that when used with intense awareness with your identity molding with the highest identity in that mantra, your identities unite. It was in reading one of Shambhavi Lorain Chopra's work that I came across the Kali mantra scripted below. It was only after practicing this for over a month that I read about the potential dangers of said mantra. But, I was already a month into the practice, so why turn back?
Aum hrim shrim kilm adya kalika param Eshwari svaha
Aum and salutations to she who is the first one, dark within her own reality, the supreme primordial feminine, who cuts through illusion to the absolute truth of existence.
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Coming out of such emotional issues, the Dark Goddess takes on a much more "calming" form. It's only when she clears our attachments/addictions do we fear Her since we don't want to lose certain ego-ic belongings. We're essentially diving into our shadow sides where we hide our negative ego and its limiting belief system. The mantra above is said to clear your life for a quick and direct spiritual evolution, potentially sending shock into your life. Perfect in the mantra for Kali, where the bloodthirsty Goddess swims in your shadow self cutting your limiting addictions.  
The Dark Goddess, who is the embodiment of the dark phase of the moon's cycle, was thus honored for her role in presiding over the mysteries and initiations of the intermediary passage between death and rebirth. - Demetra George, Mysteries of the Dark Moon (cited in Siobhan Houston's "Invoking Mary Magdelene"). 
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On this journey, another feminine archetype made her way into my life. It was as if she was continually knocking at my door and refusing to leave. She carried a one sentence "shot out" in a Drunvalo Melchizedek book, but stayed on my mind until I researched Her months later. These feminine archetypes are associated with the Isis Neter "Hator". In researching her, she left a strong sense of calm and peace that I can only describe as an enhanced form of love. In my meditations, this archetype definitely increases my dopamine levels to new frontiers. One can take it as that, simply the power of imagination. Nonetheless, I couldn't seem to figure out how such a calming energy can envelope my being when I had been doing the fiery dance with Kali (as what her mantra feels like). It was only in looking into her history that I discovered her personality of Sekhmet, a bloodthirsty warrior archetype. That makes sense. The feminine is ever changing in her cyclical nature, hence, her connection to the Moon.
Further, another feminine archetype gently presented herself, quite possible the most misunderstood figure in our written history. The gentle and magnificent Mary Magdalene carries a romantic quality. Initially, found through Tom Kenyon's work with both the Hathors and Mary Magdelene, it was researching inner alchemy (not Mary Magdalene) that I stumbled onto Her. The law of attraction at play, I appeared to attract/be attracted to different material all expressing an intimate divine feminine. As an example, I also attracted Vladimir Megre's work in the "Ringing Cedar Series", expressing a divine intimate feminine. Even more intense, invoking Her imagery while meditating brings a rush of different feelings from gut-wrenching heartbreak over the Crucifixion to the extreme love She had for Her beloved, akin to the intoxication Radha had for her beloved Krishna. 

Tom Kenyon's work, among any other Nicene Creed alternative, points to an exalted Mary Magdelene. In some, She is either an initiate of the Temple of Isis, or the Goddess Isis Herself. Much as Isis resurrected Osiris, it is presented that Mary Magdelene's work with Her beloved assisted in His light body resurrection. Often expressed as Sacred Relationship, inner alchemy dictates the "as within, so without", or the unification of the ida and pingala. Hence, in looking for an external Goddess, in whatever form She presented Herself, she always appeared to say that what I look for is within. Although, She is readily apparent for assistance.  
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Alphonse Mucha, Nature
Mary, thou blessed one, whom I will perfect in all mysteries of those of the height, discourse in openness, thou, whose heart is raised in the kingdom of heaven more than all thy brethren. -Jesus, Pistis Sophia (Book 1, Chapter 17)
It's interesting that my work with the Dark Goddess had lead me back to Christianity. Predominately to a figure that is the symbol of western feminine degradation. Like the Moon, the Goddess shows us her many faces as she wanes and waxes, but she is still ever presently the Moon. When I see pictures of Kali's foot penetrating into the limp Shiva, I see the intimate feminine simply waking her lover up from his sacrifice. The Gnostics referred to Her as Christ the Sophia with her beloved as Christ the Logos. She is the one who anointed Her beloved from Her alabaster jar. She was the one purged of Her seven (7) demons. Luke 8:1-3. Her return to prominence would be the imminent awakening of the Western world of a long lost love. Such has begun with the popularity of certain material, including the "Da Vinci Code". However, She is so much more than a bloodline or a disciple, do I dare say the equivalent of Her beloved.   
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...for thou art blessed before all women on earth, because thou shalt be the ful[l]ness of all fu[l]lnesses and the perfection of all perfections." - Jesus, Pistis Sophia, (Book 1, Chapter 19)
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    Overly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil. 

    "Samadhi/No-Mind" or the "I Am/Divine Presence" should Feel (Chit) like the Free-Falling Blissful (Ananda) Conscious (Sat​) State Post-Orgasm, Post Central-Nervous System Flush of the Body, Where the Adept simply Falls Quietly Deeper Within Themselves. A True Surrender of Letting Go, Journeying Down the Rabbit Hole.  A True Sacrifice of Egoic-Samsara, for Nirvana. 

    "It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
    -James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions
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  • Home
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