In my early college years back at the turn of the millennium, it bothered me to take courses on philosophy only to find that much of the lectures revolved around free-will. Having read certain philosophers outside of course material, I took a different perspective and understanding of each of these great thinkers insights. However, with an Eastern background, my answer to free-will was always "karma". Though we have the ability to make choices, such choices are causes that will have an effect. Bentinho Massaro defines free-will as akin to the third density, or third chakra. The third chakra is the solar plexus that seems to embody the individuals identity. Of course, an individual identity is composed of different choices based on free-will. The third density is compared to the lower densities, particularly the second density that is the sacral chakra. The second density would be compared to the animal kingdom, particularly animals that are solely driven by base desires: to eat, to procreate, to sleep. The human is different in that questions began to arise beyond eating, procreating, and sleeping, where humans dabble in thought seeking for more. Though compared to the animal, insect, and plant kingdom, humans seem to have a stronger grasp of holding the ability to make choices. Humans are driven by more than simple base desires where humans have created culture, art, science, etc. Nonetheless, beginning in 2014, I started thinking about the concept that what seems to be real, is merely an illusion. When taking our mass into a subatomic outlook, we are more space than mass. Moreover, information is floating around that we're only about 10% human, with the remaining 90% being microbes. In asking questions in attempting to discover what we really are, I started having fascinating ideas that have only lead me further down the rabbit hole. My initial college assessment of free-will was to view such choices under the laws of karma. In studying astrology, and having my own reading where a Vedic astrologer eerily predicted the exact date my finances would start to change, it seems that much of our free-will is already predetermined by what is written/reflected in the stars. Even after studying the different astrological archetypes, whenever I see a close one act a certain way, my response is now "typical Virgo looking to serve" or "the Aries needs to get his name out there", etc. So, do we really have free-will, when although we may be blind to the astrological energies and think we're acting out of free-will, but we somehow end up acting out of our typical nature that's already structured? Taking it a step further, I started having ideas of how easy it would be to control a human provided the correct technology. Imagine if you had a remote to someone's bodily chemistry, if you wanted someone to fight, all that would be necessary is to his the anger button releasing the bodily chemicals that get an individual heated. Same thing with hunger, sensuality, etc. All you would need is the ability to control certain chemicals within an individuals body to get him/her to act accordingly. It would be like playing a game of "sims" where you create a small society and control the characters daily functions. When you take a look psychologically at most people, it seems that the majority are acting accordingly to these bodily chemicals. Advertisers play on this human weakness with images of delicious food, sexuality, and even prestige. In addition, when taking a meditative look at the plethora of human feelings, we're told things like "not to act out of anger". Under meditation when you are analyzing your thoughts, you'll find that such analysis travels into your daily routines. If one is angry, you can take note that the thoughts will be similarly based on anger. If one is happy, then the thoughts carry an uplifting flare. However, the point is that the "thoughts-feelings" seem to tag-team each other and somewhat direct our action. With astrology showing some aspects of our personality and life-experiences as predetermined, and our "thought-feelings" being dictated by our bodily chemistry for which most humans typically submit too, do we really have free will? Thinking in terms of legality, our "thought-feeling" structure would seem to hold each human under duress to create certain life experiences. Though we have the option to fight against duress, is it really a fair battle? Let's take it a step further. Most of the way we think and perceive the world is based on cultural perspectives, mostly given to us by our parents. For example, children are not born racists, but the external perspective and beliefs given by authority figures have the ability to instill hatred within a budding child. Racism is an obvious example, but the same applies with culture, religion, politics, etc., beliefs and theoretical concepts that children grow up willing to defend at all costs simply because their parents instilled those belief systems. Again, are we acting under free will, or acting under someone else's definitions of the world that is embedded into our (sub)consciousness. I do not remember any of these concepts described above in any of my philosophy courses. Then again, such professors also had to get an education in philosophy where they are trained to see philosophy in a certain light, which is then again pushed onto the future generation of students. Again, where's the free-will even in the philosophy courses. Under the yogic traditions, calming the monkey mind and controlling the sense are keys to liberation. With the assessment above, I can see why. With a clear head irrespective of emotions, we have clarity. With the senses under control, particularly the bodily chemistry and its desires, we finally have the ability to make choices out of free-will, a liberation. Like what Sri Yuketswar said to his student Paramahansa Yoganada, it's only on certain realizations that one is able to opt-out of one's astrology, particularly the negative aspects. That's just it, most of us don't realize that we're not the ones making the decisions as we typically don't dive deeply psychologically and ask ourselves the "why" for certain desires.
From continuing my studies and insights, I can see why individuals like Carl Jung sought the ancient texts, setting him aside from his western counterparts. Overall, maybe mastering the senses and monkey mind is the reason for third density (solar plexus) free-will, human evolution beyond the animal kingdom.
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Mediation Experience: I went in for my nightly meditation post drafting my prior post on how the "Enlightened" do not worship "mundane" deities. Under my meditation, I noticed my ego-identity didn't take kindly to the idea of leaving Krishna (Vishnu) and Shiva. In fact, I don't think I'll ever be able to fully in this ego-identity. As I am further mediating, attempting to switch from "I Am" body presence-awareness to "I" surrounding-presence awareness, to "Emptiness" non-awareness, running my channels, and moving my feeling sensation from body-feeling to attempting to feel the empty-space surrounding each of my atoms, I tried to end up thought-free but messages kept coming through. (My own or beyond, I don't know?). Nonetheless, I had to write thereafter. Brahma/Generator: Do not be fully satisfied with creation where you may mistake it as perfection and stop creating, that is why Brahma as creator is not worshiped. Brahma is your root and sacral chakra, which are associated with metaphorically grounding and creating within fertile soil. Transcending Brahma would be to recognize my own ability to manifest properly through my lower chakras. Such would be the law of attraction teachings, which I'm going to call "Nature-Realization" because it is recognizing the laws of nature (Vedas). (Other teachers call it "Law of Attraction" or "Self-Actualization). The Buddha said "thoughts create reality". So this would be the First Jewel of Buddhism, keeping the company of good thought. SANGHA. Mastery over Brahma. Vishnu (Krishna)/Operator: Vishnu is the "Higher Self" and "Krishna" is the avatar of that "Higher Self. Vishnu is properly managing what has been created by Brahma. Transcending Vishnu (Krishna) would be to love all creation. Vishnu is the solar plexus and the heart chakra. The solar plexus is our "free-will" to make choices, so such choices should be made from the heart, as in compassionate. Follow Krishna's playful example. The spoken word of Krishna in the Bhagavad-Gita describe most eloquently the Second Jewel of Buddhism in following one's own heart as "divine will". DHARMA. Mastery over Vishnu. Shiva/Destroyer: Shiva is the ability to transcend a situation. To transcend is to destroy a prior concept by simply moving beyond it. Shiva was the most difficult for me provided he is my favorite masculine archetype. Nonetheless, in meditation, I sensed ..."what do you think I represent, you're suppose to transcend me". The feeling was of a great congratulations and feeling of significant release. Under the tradition of Shiva (Saivite), yogis do not worship Shiva in form (Hari; Name given to Vishnu) but as the formless (Hara) symbolized as the Lingam. Moreover, recognizing Shiva as myself, as "awareness" seems to be the gist of yogic (unification) philosophy/experiential meditation. Another words, I am these archetypes and I need to be "aware" of that. I am Brahma (Generator), I am Vishnu (Operator), and I am Shiva (Destroyer). G-O-D. To accept that I am G-O-D, is a crazy pill to swallow and one my ego-identity needs to resolve. However, as the teachings of tantra describe, in identifying as "Awareness" you're identifying yourself as the "Higher Self". The "Higher Self" (Turya) according to the Siva Sutras is the master of being "aware" during three "witnessing" states of consciousness: 1) Waking; 2) Sleep; 3) Deep Sleep. In Advaita Vedanta, Shiva is "Awareness" and Shakti is "Witness". The dance between Awareness-Witness, God-Goddess, Yin-Yang, Masculine-Feminine, Divine Will-Divine Love, we seek to find a balance, harmony. This would be the Third Jewel of Buddhism. Like the Tao, words cannot truly describe, enlightenment. BUDDHA. Mastery over Shiva. As a "witness", mastery over "awareness". Realization of Self and Nature. Conclude:
For transcendence: I take refuge in the Three Jewels. SANGHA. DHARMA. and BUDDHA. (P.S. My definitions of the "Three Jewels" are different from main stream.) Meditation: Bentinho Massaro has offered one of the most brilliant, but simple, techniques aimed towards Self-Realization. Simply put, take 2-5 seconds throughout your day to take a few breaths and clear your head. Bentinho Massaro tells his audience to do this technique over 20 times per day. Shiva-Shakti: From the ancient Hindu stories, the Puranas, we are given a glimpse of the story line of Hinduisms deities. Though these texts were prepared hundreds of years after the Vedas, they were prepared for the laymen to better understand the complexities of Vedic philosophy by describing the play of the Gods and Goddesses. Shiva is associated with the Vedic entity known as Rudra, meaning destruction. From destruction, the new may sprout and with better understanding (transcendence). The Goddesses in Hinduism are all different aspects of Shakti. With Shiva, his Goddess/Shakti consort is Parvati who is the calm form of the fierce Goddess Kali. From my own viewpoint, Kali is the Goddess who assists in helping cut attachments (karma) that keep us from spiritually accelerating, more particularly our ego-identity. Kali is also defined as Mahamaya, the great illusion. Hence, we have the dance between Shiva-Shakti where we constantly attempt to transcend our vices through better understanding. Lingam-Yoni: All concepts of yoga are derived from Shiva, particularly in his teachings to his consort Parvati. However, unlike traditional Brahmanic culture, Shiva is associated with the "dirty" aspects such as the panchamakara. Sensuality is included, hence, the symbol of the Lingam within the Yoni. Though the western world takes the limited obvious symbolic interpretation, which can lead to the opposite goal of tantra (transcendence), yogis crafted a higher interpretation which is readily discovered in non-dual teachings (Advaita Vedanta).
Awareness: Under the Siva-Sutras; The Yoga of Supreme Identity, Shiva is defined as consciousness. To be clear, it's not Shiva-Consciousness in the way people say Christ-Consciousness, or Buddha-Consciousness, or Krishna-Consciousness. Shiva is simply "consciousness". Consciousness defined is basically a subject viewing an object, or a subject having an "awareness" of an object. This awareness is simply viewing without thought. Often times, we view objects with our personal filters that create opinions, etc. However, this awareness is clear of thought and simply aware. The meditations provided above are to assist in helping reach that awareness state of mind. Moreover, Shiva's forehead is often adorned with a mark, a tilaka, which is also often found drawn on the Shiva-Lingam. In defining Shiva as consciousness, particularly seated at the third-eye, it makes sense to view the Lingam as the aroused pineal gland, or the third-eye. Neti Neti: In Advaita Vedanta, there is the concept of Neti-Neti, meaning "not this, not that". Neti Neti is an attempt to discover who you really are, or Self-Realization. Essentially, I cannot be my surroundings as they are constantly changing and are separate from my body. I cannot be my body since that too is constantly changing and shifting through time. I cannot be my thoughts since that is always changing, especially with a shift in mood. I cannot be my name or other things that I associate with my identity, since much of that seems to be defined by external circumstances and similarly changing. So then what am I? Going through the practice of "I am not this, I am not that", yogis have discovered that they are simply "awareness". Under Advaita Vedanta, identifying your(s)elf with simple awareness will bring you closer to finding your true Self, your Higher Self or Atma/Turya. So then, what are all these objects placed within my field of awareness? Realize that the Self is the self-contained mirror projecting and manifesting this world. -Tripura Rahasya; The Secret of the Supreme Goddess Witness: The Lingam, a symbol of awareness, is often found seated aroused within a Yoni. The Yoni is symbolic of the feminine consort of Shiva, or Parvati/Kali. Again, Kali is the Mahamaya, or the great illusion. Hence, the Lingam-Yoni is essentially "Awareness" aroused within the "Illusion". In other words, all these objects that one is aware of, is simply an illusion. What keeps the illusions going is desire, hence arousal. Every circumstance that we are aware of, we become a witness. Too witness an event is essentially to record through memory. However, much of what we witness is filtered through our own experiences leading to thoughts, opinions, and beliefs, which are all subjective. Just as you can have 12 individuals witnessing an event, you will similarly have 12 different stories as the event is seen through different eyes. Hence, to witness is essentially to construct a story-line, a theater, or a play (Lila). Siva is absolute Awareness, without any form. Sri Tripura is Sakti (energy) and Witness of the whole. -Tripura Rahasaya; The Secret of the Supreme Goddess Conclude: To identify yourself with "awareness" as opposed to the story-line is a mastery in non-dual teachings that leads to Self-Realization. It's like watching a movie that has you on the edge of your seat. When finally a climactic scene is about to expire disclosing a pivotal moment within the film, the film shuts off. During the time it takes to reset the film to the correct position, the scene is no longer the same where the viewers emotional attachment no longer lingers as much. To identify with "awareness" is similarly to unplug from the story-line and an attempt to locate and understand who you are behind the scenes of your life, your true Self. Your Higher-Self is the aspect of you beyond space and time, which writes the main themes for all of your past and future lives and experiences. When Krishna showed his true essence to Arjuna in the battlefield which led to the Bhagavad-Gita, he was showing Arjuna his Higher Self (past, future lives, and the self-luminous light behind it all), just as each of us has a Higher Self (before unity). As Krishna held Self-Realization, he showed us the possibilities of what can occur under Self-Realization, though within the limitations of the collective belief system. Our Father. In the Christian tradition, the Father represents the Source, or that which is beyond the Source. It is the ultimate, which I rather like to consider as Brahman or ParaBrahman. In Advaita Vedanta, Brahman is the "all that is" and that which is beyond "that". It is the unfathomable infinite, that which is aware of each point of interest, pure consciousness or what may be beyond that. Our crown chakra is our access, our portal, to the infinite. Who Art In Heaven. To access the divine, or that which relates more to spirit than matter, yogi's often place their seat of awareness, their consciousness, at the third eye. Placed between the eyes, at the center of the head, placing one's awareness at this point creates a "mindfulness" state of being where one is aware of being within the body. Given that this is where most meditative work occurs, this seat can ripe-fully be called heaven. This is where sits your Higher-Self, your Atman, you spirit free of egoic/karmic biases/attachments. And, there is no difference between Atman and Brahman. Hallowed Be Thy Name. In certain cultures, the belief that to completely speak nothing but the truth is to have the ability to manifest everything you want. Quite possibly a fable to show the difficulties of honesty/transparency, nonetheless, it adds to the fire that fuels mankind's desire to know the truth. To know the truth of "all that is", the "infinite-one", is the sacred path of all of our traditions, including science. The throat chakra is essentially wisdom. It is our seeking for not only the truth of our Atman, but the truth from all our experiences that lead to beliefs that limit ourSelves. From what we discover, we speak the truth of our wisdom. Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done, On Earth As It Is In Heaven. The Kingdom is in reference to the infinite-one, that which is "all that is". The statement is in obvious reference to bringing forth the domain of the infinite-one into our relative reality. Essentially, it is requesting a blessing into our existence. The "Will" of the infinite-one or Brahman, which is the same as your signature Atman, is attempting to accomplish its goal. However, what the "Will" is, is found in the heart chakra. Following your heart, following your bliss, is following the Will of God. It is the way to bridge Heaven and Earth creating "Heaven on Earth". Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread. Christians use "bread" to signify something called Manna, food which fell from the Heavens to feed the Israelite's in their time of need. Hence, it is simply requesting the Infinite-One to provide us with nurturing substance to keep us sustained. At the solar plexus rests our inner Sun. Much like the Sun enlightens our environment, our inner sun assists in lighting our ego identities and experiences. Here, we request the energy and strength through "bread" to not only sustain our daily lives, but to choose the "Will" based on love-heart and truth-throat so that we do the "Will" of our Atma, and not that strictly of the lower sacral and root chakra. And Forgive Us Our Trespasses As We Forgive Those Who Trespass Against Us. The sacral chakra is the home of our creative abilities. From the One came Two. From the One was created Two. The One as "subject" finally created an "object" for it to have "awareness" and have an experience. From the creator, creation is constantly creating, creating new life, creating new experiences, creating beauty, creating relationships. However, sometimes such creators will trespass onto another creator's creation. Trespass being defined as intentionally moving onto another's rights in a non-consensual way. When such occurs, beliefs are created triggering all sorts of bodily chemical emotions that can lead to anger, frustration, hate, etc. Forgiveness is asking for clearing such emotions from our energy field. And Lead Us Not Into Temptation, But Deliver Us From Evil. It seems that almost all of our problems are based on beliefs of "lack", especially lack of our basic needs (shelter, food, hygiene). As a plant is properly nourished by grounding its roots within the Earth, so does the abundant Universe/Earth/Elements provide for us through our root chakra. Given that we carry the belief of a "limited" Universe, or the belief in "lack", we create all sorts of root chakra issues. It is our seat, our support, and if we're not properly supported and have lack of love, lack of necessities, lack of passion, etc., such can lead to the development of negative emotions that can lead an individual into "temptation" or "evil". Anything to be "temptation" or "evil" would be something that "opposes" the love-heart and truth-throat of the Atman. Amen. From the infinite, you are born. A point of interest for the infinite to perceive a version of reality. From that perception, the infinite gains wisdom by seeking the truth of itself. Love is the key for such discovery and the path, the Dharma, our duty. From the infinite we are nourished and blessed with the ability to create within our abundant Universe, our Heaven on Earth. So let it be.
Although we look towards the law of attraction to manifest the tangible materials we believe will bring us happiness, the real goal should be to feel whole and complete within oneself, recognizing your self as a Creator. At that heart of all of our wants and desires, ranging from the material objects we wish to have, to the relationships we wish to manifest, to the health we wish to acquire, are they not all to make us FEEL a certain way? Let's take a look at tangible material objects. We may wish to have a certain car either for practical purposes, aesthetic appeal, or social status. In fact, much of our longings for material objects tend to fall into those categories, such as clothing, etc. But dive deeper and realize why you wish to have such belongings. There are things we need (practical), things that hold artistic qualities that give us a sense of beauty (aesthetic), and those that place us into a category based on societal definitions (social status). Though objects are not necessarily solely subject to one category, they all create a different emotional appeal, a different FEELING. We are manipulated by our external circumstances to create those FEELINGS, though we have the potential to create such with our own imaginations. Close your eyes and let your imaginings take you to a life of an abundance of whatever possessions you desire. The FEELING of enjoying such material is more important than the actual object or external circumstance. In diving into that FEELING you trigger your emotional vibration, which then, though somewhat subject to the illusion of time, is rippled throughout the cosmos. Holding onto that FEELING is another battle, where societal induced definitions of lack are triggered. Such definitions include, a sense of worth, where you may feel unworthy of the material objects you wish to possess. For example, in the extreme masculine Western world of "yang" of "do this, do that", we often hold the belief that we need to work for the things we want, we have to fight for it. Such is true, only if you believe it to be so. Another words, as a surgeon with steady hands pierces into the inner depths of the physique, so you must also pierce into your own psyche and deconstruct/reconstruct your inner psyche, your belief system. Doing so will increase your vibration, or should I say, your ability to FEEL into your desires. Hence, master your thoughts, especially if they trigger an emotional response. Relationships are another aspect subject to many of our manifestations. You know the whole adage of "people only value you as much as you value yourself". Yep, "as within, so without". We so much place our emotional construct, our ability to love, on external circumstances. Before we love ourselves, we try to get others to do it for us. The feeling of falling in love is often associated with external stimuli, but that's just it, it's a stimuli felt within the emotional body that can be conjured up with our own imaginings. It's easy to compliment the beauty of others, but we can often neglect our own selves. One of the brilliant techniques that I have come across for overall health has been Mantak Chia's taoist technique where you focus on each body part, each organ, all the while smiling into that area. In fact, science has shown that the very act of manipulating your lips to make a smile triggers your emotional body despite your mood. In other words, before we attract the optimal relationships, we need to be able to treat our own selves they way we desire others to treat us. Use your own imaginings to create the desired relationships, FEEL into it, and own that FEELING for yourself. Allow yourself to dive as deeply as possible into that FEELING and dissect any belief system, any obstacle, that forces you to deny that FEELING. Therefore, the saying of "to best get over someone, is to get under someone" is completely not in line with these teachings, where such understanding will seem to attract the same type of relationships. Loving your self and being completely whole, not the "better-half" as typically described in a two-person relationship, is the key to manifesting the ideal relationship. Though I can't quite confirm the truth of this as of yet, especially since the clearing process and loving thy-self is not necessarily the easiest for someone with a Black Moon in Aries, at least I know now what needs to be done. Though I have noticed people around me being seemingly much nicer, something odd in my line of profession. The ability to FEEL into my imagination has been a long tedious process. I've used many teachers to assist in this area, such as Lazaris, Bashar, Abraham-Hicks, and Bentinho Massaro, all of which through their lectures have made me face early memories of where I felt minimal, lack, self-loathings, etc. Such emotional structures trigger the law of attraction vibrations. Going through the law of attraction is a form of self-healing, when one decides to continue with this path. It's a form of Karma clearing, with Karma being "thought forms that keep you stuck in your manifesting capabilities". (definition from Nithyanandaji though reworded). It's the ability to stay in a lighter emotional body when your thoughts can trigger beliefs of lack. It's trying to imagine the desired possessions, the relationships, the spiritual wisdom, all the while having the attacks of a negative belief or ideal that inhibit your manifestation progress. Again, such limiting beliefs are embedded onto our spirit through external stimuli, including Karma/Attachments that we've brought forth from past lives. It's our external circumstances that dictate our lives, when it really should be our inner sanctum. In doing this mental clearing, I've noticed the things that I've chased after would not necessarily have made me the most happy. The high ranking job, the numerous possessions, the relationships, the spiritual power (siddhis), through the use of my imagination and taking note of how I feel, I can tell what option will make me happier. For example, I no longer fantasize of a large mansion dream home, but feel the most blissful in a small home lost in some serene natural environment. I no longer dream of having the high ranking job as someone in my profession would strive for, but feel that abundance needs to be redefined as "having the ability to do whatever I want in each of my moments". As much as I have emotional baggage left to clear to manifest my happiest reality, including clearing the belief that I have emotional baggage, it's time we stop letting our circumstances, our external reality, our society, our exterior relationships, dictate how we FEEL within and stay non-attached to our external stimuli. The emotional gift that loved ones give to us, the inner feeling of excitement we get when obtaining our desired possessions, we should be able to own that FEELING for our self without conditions on any external stimuli and raise such FEELINGS on command, even during the darkest of nights. We should own that for our selves, that there is greatness in our own "being" not necessarily "doing" and we are completely worthy of the abundantly blissful life being the Creators that we are. The law of attraction is more like the "law of manifestation", through your vibration, through your FEELING, you create. Realizing this about yourself is part of Self-Realization, of the age-old question beginning from the time of self-awareness, "who am I?". So, imagine your abundant life full of adventures, love, nourishment, inspiration, confidence, bliss, and ever increasing enlightenment and FEEL into it! Imagine what if FEELS like to be more and more enlightened, prosperous, abundant, and let that trigger out into the universe and ripple down your crown chakra to be absorbed into your complete being, your complete reality. Don't let anything outside of you or within you hold you down from reaching your true Self, your Higher Self. FEELING is everything. True happiness cannot be found in things that change and pass away. Pleasure and pain alternate inexorably. Happiness comes from the self and can be found in the self only. Find your real self (svarupa) and all else comes with it. -Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, I Am That
The reason I raise sexuality is because the Goddess energy appears to carry a sexual undertone. When contemplating different Goddesses, I feel a different sensation. Kali is passionate and rigorous, Hathor is complete joy and bliss and love, Quan Yin and Mother Mary are nurturing, and Mary Magdalene is like falling/being in love. So here, I would like to address Kali provided that I have been chanting her mantras for over a year with phenomenal success. Her presence is vicious with the reminder of her loving presence when you need to have that memory. Provided that She is the benevolent consort of Shiva known as Parvati who acts as an intermediary between devotees and Shiva, she is also the love and bliss of Hathor who will tear shit up in the most bloodthirsty way as Sekhmet. She is the terrific and the terrible. So this was Tuesday, October 20, 2015. I had a great day, was full of energy, got some exercise, and was just full of bliss given the new insights I have been obtaining. It was the day after Kaalratri, which is dedicated to Kali, under the nights of the Goddess tradition of Navratri. The incense was lit whenever I had the chance, I had light meals, it was like walking on air. I began my evening ritual meditation where I set myself up in position with certain gemstones and begin focusing on my breathe. When fully relaxed, I grounded into the Mother Earth, pulled in energy from the Cosmic Universe, and let my Chakras light up and release whatever is holding me back. Go back into the mindfulness of my breathe for a few moments, and the mantras began. Unlike most mindfulness practices, if my mind drifts off to areas worth exploring, I proceed with those thoughts instead of the whole "when you see the Buddha on the road, kill him". I saw myself as a child wrapped up in Mother Kali's bloody arms. I was also getting images of my biological mother holding me, and just sensing the passion and love that the feminine was providing. With Kali, provided that she is nude, her bodily warmth was the perfect place to rest. As a child, she proceeded to breast feed me. The milk absorbed was felt throughout my body, like pranic jet fuel. As she is the great nurturer, the Mother is known to provide all the nutritional sustenance needed for an infant. As a child, I felt complete. However, as an adult, well, we'll just say it gets a bit odd from here. Provided that I am a grown straight male in a society that has overly-sexualized the female breasts, the visionary inner child was obtaining pranic bliss, while the grown male sitting in meditation was feeling the sensations of arousal. Now, in terms of sensations, breathing deep is pulling in prana to fill our body, like placing gasoline in an automobile. However, sensual arousal is like setting that gasoline/prana on fire. Kundalini energy, which is prana in motion, carries with it strong erotic tones meant to be mastered in the inner world. Needless to say, it took the meditation to a completely different realm.
Provided that human destruction is not my interest, the imagery was at first very disturbing. Nonetheless, in moments of doubt, I would have flashes to Parvati, which was reminder of the Goddesses constant change of nature. The destructive qualities have a purpose. As Kali or the masculine Kaala is associated with "time", without time there is no death or birth, and here She is devouring that illusion. She is the one to assist in the transcendence of our attachment to these illusions, including our attachment to the illusion of time that so dictates our lives.
Through my awareness, I was able to shift my perception between the masculine and feminine while the parties were intimate. The sensations were ecstatic and led to a climactic event that sent wonders up my spine. Oh how I wish to stay in that moment, but I must proceed with our illusory "reality". The session ended about 10 p.m. and I didn't fall asleep until midnight knowing I had a long work day ahead of me. Between 10 p.m. and 12 p.m., I just kept having quick flashes of insight regarding the "I Am" presence, the nature of "reality", etc., but it was happening so quick that I was unable to assess each and write them down. Moreover, I think my logical mind may have forgotten much of the information received in that time frame. However, I guess you can say that I was "downloading" information that may unfold as I continue on this path. All I can conclude with is that I feel blessed knowing that Her presence is stronger than ever.
Ma'at is symbolized with the "feather of truth, balancing scales, her All-Seeing Eye, her throne, the gates to the underworld and her faithful guardian, the dog". (Andrews, Munya, The Seven Sisters of the Pleiades). In balancing the scales, Anubis would place the subjects heart on one side, with the other side containing Ma'at's feather. One interpretation as pointed out by Munya Andrews is that "[t]o be light as a feather meant one was unburdened by sin and therefore exonerated in death". (Id, citing to Walker, Womens Dictionary of Symbols and Sacred Objects.)
The concept of Judgment in both its exoteric and esoteric meaning as found in modern culture come from Egypt. The scales and sword of Lady Justice are a derivative of Ma'at's scales and feather of Truth. As recorded by the scribe Thoth and assessed by the ruler of the afterlife Anubis, Ma'at's scales adjudicate whether an individual has followed the Truth of her own Heart. That is your Judgment Day.
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AuthorOverly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil. "It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
-James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions Archives
August 2019
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