A Gift From The Queen Of The Universe; Ma Bhuvanesvari

Before my meditation, I felt it was time to visit a new Mahavidya. I went through some mantras dedicated to less familiar Mahavidyas, and found that Ma Bhuvanesvari's mantra felt the most dissonant like it was triggering me the most. I settled for her mantra, quickly glimpsed over her description expressing ruler of the universe, red skin, and her association with wealth. I've been seeking mostly the fiercer forms of the Mahavidyas, where wealth and abundance pales in comparison to spiritual awakening. Nonetheless, having visited Kali, Tara, Chinnamasta, and Ma Dhummavati, I felt myself ready to experience the material world again. 

While the fiercer Mahavidyas readily make their presence known, either through the passionate sensation that is enough to slighly boil my blood or simple playful visions, I guess that's what I was expecting in pursuing another Mahavidya. There was none of that and only an immediate sensation of expanding unconditional love. Ma Bhuvanesvari invoked the presence of Mother Mary, of Quan Yin, the compassionate queen of the universe, to the point where I probably now consider them to be the same essence. It is humbling and heart-expanding to feel the presence of the divine mother. As a mother unconditionally loves her children, so does the mother of the universe unconditionally love as well. As we become adults, the love that is sought is often conditional, where love only arises conditioned on an event. It is the love of parents which is the closest to unconditional love that we can feel in the material plane, and so we have the divine mother to remind us of that on the spiritual plane. 

With Ma Buvanesvari, I felt myself feel loved like never before in my current memory. It was a love that was conditioned solely on my existence, for that same love spreads out throughout the whole creative universe. This was an expansive love effecting more than just my emotive sensations, where my physical body similarly responded with the ability to breathe higher into my lungs, with my spine stretching/cracking around the upper chest, back, and neck area. 

Just as a righteous Queen will look at her kingdom with compassion, so does the ruler of the universe. As I was in the void of meditation, I received a phone call from an elder aunt. This aunt's home has been the spiritual fortress where crooked relatives would go to get straightened up. Her home is where we would hold our spiritual gatherings, where my Uncle is considered the spiritual elder. Hence, this aunt would be a perfect representation of Ma Buvanesvari. Given the age of my aunt and uncle, I feared something terrible had happened and immediately called back after missing their phone call. However, it turns out, my aunt simply wanted to give me an unexpected late birthday and early Christmas gift. She wanted to pay for my flight to and from Standing Rock, ND. 

In my phone call with my aunt, I felt accepting that money wasn't right. My family has done much and continues to do so, I should be repaying them. However, the urge to fight over the gift quickly diminished in me, as I was still gloomy from meditating. It felt like in accepting this gift, I was also giving a gift, a gift to my relatives with the ability to feel the joy of giving. I know it means a lot for them to give me something special. This feeling of graciousness is probably better than any material gain, and is probably the true wisdom to be gained from acquiring wealth and abundance.

Immediately afterwards, I returned to my meditation and realized what had just occured. The timing couldn't be more syncronistic. Here I was invoking the ruler of the universe, the divine Mother, who is associated with "material wealth", and she couldn't even wait until after my meditation to let me know how much she loves me.