For me, the spiritual path was a confusion of what should be the end game. Like most, we tend to glorify individuals who have accomplished certain esoteric abilities, whether it be the ability to heal, to perceive beyond the norm, or conduct actions beyond our modern scientific understanding. Those who have acquired certain abilities typically end up with followers, not a bad thing at first, but which may lead to guru worship. We all need gurus, be it our fellow humans, life itself, or that level of perception within beyond identification, we need to remove the obstacles of our ignorance in order to perceive on a wider scale. However, I don't think we need any more golden calves, especially in the age of information. As Nisargadatta Maharaj stated, "Do not look for a guru; do not even think of one. Make your goal your guru. After all, the guru is but a means to an end, not the end itself". In addition, Abhinavagupta in his Sri Tantraloka sets a rather high standard for a guru, where the guru in essence, should be none other than Shiva himself. Shiva does not create or manage creation/matter, he destroys and transcends it. Should one fail to find such a guru, turn to Adi Shakti herself, the feminine aspect of Shiva. Abhinavagupta further discusses two modes that can be requested for an adept, though does not go into detail, nor is one considered superior to the other. The first category would be that of attaining boons, or Siddhas, many of which mimic the goals of other mystical practices relating to magick. The second is enlightenment, and given the correlation between Advaita and Saiva, enlightenment would be Self-Realization, where the individual ego (jiva), identifies with the cosmic ego (jagat), which then can collapse in itself into the formless bliss of Brahman or the Tao.
This is what separates Enlightenment from Siddhis/Magick, where such boons or abilities, are further illusions within the grand illusion, lila. Moreover, such abilities can not only attach one further into the illusion where it may just be too much fun in conducting such magick, but it would further attach other individuals who become attached to the adept. We've all seen it, we have a programmed tendency, often labelled as "natural", to worship and glorify something, be it our spiritual elders, our leaders, or our celebrities. Unlike Enlightenment, Siddhis/Magick can similarly push you and others in the path to Self, but the potential for further delusion seems to be substantial. I'm assuming this is why Abhinavagutpa stated to use Adi Shakti who is Ma Kali, the destroyer of ego, the dissolution of all form, as a guide, where such abilities do not become a distraction. Further, occult initiates, including Aleister Crowley all stressed communion with Self labelled the Holy Guardian Angel. Though the two paths can be different in a sense where the attainable goals are different, where the one Self Realized may not care so much for the realm of illusion other than helping other release their delusions, both paths are an expansion of consciousness. Expanse of consciousness is essentially seeing the illusion in new perspectives that offer a wider glimpse. Though siddhas/magick seem to be graduated steps into widening such perspectives of what is possible within the illusion, Self is as wide as the perspective can get where the illusion is finally dissolved. The problem for the adept is that, you would have to want Self more than the glittery Siddhi/Magick of illusion. These perspectives often labelled as "blessings" or "gifts" can be extremely inhibiting from reaching to dissolve the "blessings" and "gifts" for Self. Though many gurus are worshiped, or will give you something to worship, all of such are simply aspects of the Greek Psyche, or the Jungian archetypes of the mind. It seems that the true Enlightened guru will always have you looking within, to discover your own true Self. When you are learning about the nature of the psyche, an even greater aura of the unknown exists. The unknown portions of the psyche and its greater horizons, therefore, have often been perceived as gods or as the greater psyches out of which the (little) self emerged."
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The concept of transcendence is a popular one, particularly if you've dabbled in Eastern philosophies. Though one aspect of most religions is to propagate a creator, flourish creation, the idea of transcendence is to move beyond all of that above the realm of matter. Hence, transcendence is typically associated with Shiva, the lord of destruction, or his yoginis/dakinis, the fierce destructive feminine often frowned upon by those who worship the creator. 1. Religion and Much of Spirituality is NOT Transcendence Much of what we tout as "spirituality" or "religious", does not fall under the realm of transcendence. Again, most religions worship a creator, or manager of creation who leads us from the dualistic concept of unrighteousness to righteousness. Let's take religion for an example, where much of our scriptures both Biblical and Puranic or more political/historical based as opposed to understanding the realm of spirit. The Biblical Old Testament, from my research, is merely expounding the Jewish politics of the "Holy Land", where much of the testament of these ancient Hebrews seem to be an attempt to show the political landscape of the Canaanites. In addition, much more is disclosed by the Akkadian, Sumerian, etc., script, that leave one questioning who this jealous Old Testament deity may have actually been. The same applies for the majority of Indo-Aryan Vedic-Puranic script, where these Aryan deities look a lot like Greco-Egyptian beings, much like the infusion that was brought under the Hellenic period. To tie into the "Holy Land", the controversial work of Zecharia Setchin holds that it was Sumerian Goddess Inanna held domain over the Indus Valley. The Goddess Inanna holds numerous symbolism that may have some connection to other stories. Just as Inanna went into the underworld and had to raise herself up into the heavens again, so did Sati/Parvati in Hinduism have to use yoga to remember herself while she was lost in samsara (Spirit wandering in Matter). Moreover, just as Mary Magdalene was healed of her "seven demons" by Jesus, Inanna had to go through "seven" gates of hell. Lastly, the whole going into the underworld, and being raised from such "death" is akin to our seasons of winter and springtime where another name for Inanna is Ishtar, which some have claimed is the root of "Easter". Constantine was a well known devout pagan, and my research is showing more and more, that just as how the ancient Hebrews synthesized all other Canaanite deities into the Canaanite deity Yahweh, Constantine may have well synthesized the numerous Roman-Greco-Egyptian (Dionysus, Mithraic, etc.) cults into one deity, Jesus. Modern Christians say that such pagan influence was done mainly to convert the pagans, where it is well known that Jesus was not born anytime near Christmas (Mithraic Concept). An odd understanding, especially since the Roman Church is controlling what would otherwise be a natural cycle under the seasons and astrological patterns via the unnatural Gregorian Calendar. The Roman Church was capable of more than just blending with pagan myths, where one has to consider the Church's intent, especially since much of the Roman Church teachings drastically contradict the much earlier Gnostic Christian teachings. Further, much of what is deemed "spirituality" also still falls under the material arena. Like religion which sought to control history, control government via tradition and culture, which is really supporting the realm of material creation, much of spirituality is quite similar. Mindfulness teachings, unlike Advaita, teach one to be present to the moment, to what is being observed. Such mindfulness makes one mindful of the material realm. Sure, such teachings have purpose, but it may only be slight transcendence where one is still focused on matter. Moreover, we have these "mind, body, soul" teachings. However, the body is part of the material realm, and mind-thoughts are typically associated with the body being the receiver, interpreted by the receiver, and are therefore based on form or the material world. Hence, the mind and body are part of the material realm. Further, unlike religion, mystics separate Spirit from Soul, where soul is simply the aspect of one that moves from one body identity to the next via reincarnation, where Spirit is beyond creation. Soul would be the glue between Spirit and Matter, where most souls only look towards matter. While the soul maybe the watcher of the body and maybe external events, Spirit may be the watcher of the watcher of the body, or beyond where there is no form/tangible to watch. So these spiritual "mind, body, soul" teachings do not fit the venue of transcendence. 2. Transcendence is Dissolving the Jars We've Placed Ourselves In In Hinduism, unlike the Vedas or Puranas that propagate a being to be appeased or worshiped, the mystics crafted the more subtle Upanisads, which was historically met with disdain as with every mystical tradition. There is the understanding of an Atma, or little spirit, and Brahman, which implies the ultimate truth. Such concepts are described with the metaphor of Atma being like the air inside of a jar, and Brahman being the air outside of a jar. These simple truth is again described in the Saiva mystical tradition as a meditative practice in the Vijnananbhairava. Here, to truly know thy self becomes key, to know the air within sans the jar, where all of our yogic-meditative practices is to dissolve the jar. Again, our religions and spiritual concepts are full of ideas that simply add to the jar. We worship the one that created the jar as opposed to the essence behind it, we worship and place on pedestals those that have the nicest jar based on religious-moral-cultural standards, we fight over jars that are associated with different identities, we create and honor a lineage for the jar, some even worship and honor the elements that compose the jar, all the while the air remains unlimited and free from all such labels, humanity has tried its hardest to make the air form itself into a jar. Many masters have come and pointed the way, but as Osho would say, many would rather cling to the pointing finger and even suck on it. Here, the jar becomes the finger, where many would rather worship the finger as opposed to truly understand the concept of, "the Kingdom of Heaven (God) is Within You". (Luke 17:21). In addition, the master himself states, "Do not let heaven's kingdom become a desert within you...I tell you the truth, whoever will receive life and believe in the kingdom will never leave it, not even if the Father wants to banish him". The Secret Book of James. Going back to transcendence and the use of tantrik deities that are typically fierce and opponents to creation (matter), and the use of meditation to disassociate from all material and tangible so that one is no longer lost in the illusory world of form, all of these transcendental practices as taught by the Tantriks, Gnostics, Hermetics, Alchemists, Sufi's, etc., in violent contradiction with orthodox beliefs (Brahmanic- Hindu, Orthodox Christian, non-Akhenaten Egyptian, Modern Science, Islam; all designed to either worship or study the jar), are done in order to dissolve the jar. We are not the religious stories and cultural heritage; we are not the mind, body, soul; we are not the world of form and the elements that compose it. We are so much more, and yet, so much less. To dissolve the decorated jar that we are so deeply attached for the air, is the meaning of transcendence. To transcend is to move beyond matter and form to Know Thy Self, the True Self. To know the True Self, the air, is to Realize who you have always been. Self-Realization. The air inside the jar is the same as the air outside of the jar. God-Realization. Don't take my word for it. After all, who am I to say that I know anything. When in fact, I know nothing. No-thing. Not this, nor this. Neti Neti. Transcend! In an intentional approach to the mystical life, therefore, it is first necessary to rid our minds of all prepossessions and predispositions, of the opinions we have formed, the conclusions we have formed, the conclusions we have arrived at arbitrarily, and especially by way of hearsay. We must mentally disrobe, remove the cloak of custom which we unconsciously had wrapped about ourselves more firmly each year. We must free our minds of all such encumbrances and be prepared to accept only those things which, as the famous philosopher Descartes said, arouse within us an intuitive acceptance of them, feeling that they are true and constitute real knowledge. The similarities between the Tantras and overall tantrik philosophy and Gnosticism is uncanny. Despite my numerous studies, it is only recently that I've discovered that I'm not the only one who has made that connection, and those within the western occult have seemed to have embraced such philosophies describing the nature of "reality". Nonetheless, wisdom has a way of unveiling herself, when one is ready to perceive, and my research into both Tantrik and Gnostic literature occured in perfect timing for my own development. However, that development and understanding usually begins with the painful attempt to dissolve prior cultural-religious programming that I so romantically have held onto. Tantras: As someone who still holds devotional attachments to external objects of worship, be it Yoginis, Christ, or Shiva, any information that causes me to reassess who these beings may be, becomes an attempt to painfully synthesize such information where I need to trust my own inner resonance while expanding my horizons with new contrary information. Information that I have come across previously have shattered my paradigm on how I perceive the G-O-D trinity of Hinduism, the Brahma (Generator), Vishnu (Operator), and Shiva (Destroyer) concept. As the Indian Buddhist monk who brought Buddhism to Tibet, Padmasambhava aka Guru Rinpoche, had stated to his consort, Lady Tsogyal, those who wish to reach for enlightenment can no longer take refuge in mundane deities, "Mahadeva, Vishnu, Mahesvara". (Padmasambhava, Dakini Teachings). Though Mahesvara may be understood differently, where the masses understand a Shiva in form that is worshiped as a necessary element through our cyclical cosmos, and the mystics understand the yogas of Shiva as a means to transcend the cosmos. Further, in stating Mahesvara (Shiva), it is also important to note that Padmasambhava's guru, or his Vajrayogini, was none other than the Mahavidya Chinnamasta, a Yogini typically associated with Shiva (as Parvati feeding her two hungry consorts). Moreover, for the Hindu who may take assault at such statements above, Shiva himself also describes similar sentiments in his conversation with Parvati in the Kularnava Tantra where he states in describing the illusory nature of the universe, "Gods like Brahma, Visnu, Mahesa and the various Elemental Beings are also perishable". (ch.1 v.3). Shiva beautifully includes himself, understanding the transient nature of his form. Therefore, I believe the power in these teachings is to simply dissolve the external world of maya-illusion in search of the non-transient Self within. Moreover, the Hindu G-O-D complex seems to be the mode of cycles within the wheel of samsara, to generate, manage, and dissolve for further generation as a way of nature in samsara. In opposition, Tantrik philosophy seeks transcendence from samsara, including the G-O-D cycle. Going back to Tibetan Tantra, in the Tantrik Vajrayogini, the creator deity known as Isvara, was the worldly deity who has placed his "linga/mandala" throughout the world for worship, but would obstruct anyone seeking liberation/enlightenment. In light of numerous tantras (Saiva/Buddhist), such seems true where such teachings are limited to those considered ready, who are not so attached to the worldly dominion. Through the assistance of the Vajrayogini, the hero becomes Heruka who overcomes the worldly deity Isvara. Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, Guide To Dakini Land. Gnostic Christianity: Gnostic Christianity, though with many different flavors ranging from the more open Valentinian to the strict Encratities, seem to still fall under common beliefs that contradict orthodoxy. The Nag Hammadi and Dead Sea Scrolls provide a further understanding, where texts such as the Gospel of Thomas rings more like Tantrik philosophy of locating the Kingdom within than Creed of Nicea material seeking to find the Kingdom within an external being and created by an external being. Firstly, Professor Jodi Magness in her Holy Land Revealed (Greater Courses) has revealed, the dead sea scrolls holds documents including copies of the Old Testament that date to roughly 1st or 2nd Century B.C., whereas, modern Abrahamic religions that use the Old Testament use versions of the Old Testament that date to 9th or 10th century A.D. Hence, there has been a significant time lapse between the Gnostic/Essene writings and the works that modern Abrahamic religions have based their religion upon. As anyone who reads such texts and see the counter-philosophies can attest, the Gnostic works were considered "heretic" and a threat to worldly elite dominion, the Roman empire needed to silence such teachings and find a new way of control. As a topic of discussion here, one major precinct of Gnostic philosophy is the rejection of the Creator. In the unnamed Nag Hammadi text given the modern name of On The Origin Of The World, as the true God described as infinite light created immortals, one of which was Pistis Sophia who sought to "know" or be "equal" to God, they could not equal God where the closest to God, Sophia, cast a shadow. Within that shadow, a being arose who lost in the shadow thought himself to be a god. Therefore, this being named Yaldabaoth began ignorantly creating, only knowing the voice of Sophia. This god ignorantly considered himself to be the one true god and would describe himself as such to his creation. It is interesting to note the parallels between this deity and the Puranic stories of Hindu's creator God, Brahma, who had his 5th head cut-off by Shiva for claiming to be superior due to his creation. Moreover, Brahma has a controversial relationship with Saraswati (daughter?), where Yaldabaoth's daughter Sophia rebels against the worldly king. Moreover, this Yaldabaoth is the father of Yao, an entity which calls itself YHVH (an individual being as opposed to the I Am Presence), the biblical creator god. In other Gnostic texts and commentaries, this deity described as the "worldly deity" was considered to be the false deity, who required vehement obedience, worship, sacrifices, temples, where the true God doesn't not require any such support. Moreover, such attachment to the material world, and the worship of the creator of the material world, keeps the individual soul (glue between Matter and Spirit) trapped into the realm of matter, where the human is to be perfected through being filled with Spirit, a concept that seems to be closer to Shaktipat in Tantrik Saivism as opposed to the evangelical description of Holy Spirit as described under my protestant education.
As the creator god concedes, "Then the LORD God said, [']Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever[']". (Genesis 3:22 NASB). The texts seems to be clear, the creator gods (plural) not only lied about death, but the serpent spoke the truth, and eating of the fruit was a necessary step for mankind's ascension to "knowledge" and "immortality". Moreover, these creator gods do not want Man elevated to the creators' status contrary to Christ's teachings, where Jesus himself states "Has it not been written in your Law, 'I SAID, YOU ARE GODS '?" (John 10:34 probably citing to Psalm 82:6) (The same argument is again addressed with the Tower of Babel). Therefore, the Gnostics, the secret group claiming privy to Jesus, the Essene (connection further established by psychic Edgar Cayce and hypnotherapist Dolores Cannon's clientele past life regressions), noticed the direct conflict between the creator god and Jesus, where the Gnostics praised the serpent. Conclude: In diving further into the rabbit hole, it's becoming clearer that orthodoxy has sought to suppress substantial information that counters doctrinal teachings. At the heart of such discrepancy seems to be Constantine's need to continue a broken empire, though under a new disguise, where such information was deemed "heretical" forcing groups and documents to be hidden creating mystery schools. As the Roman empire most likely usurped doctrines similar to the Library of Alexandria, where the Catholic church houses the largest private library in existence, all the while giving the public a small text to place their complete faith within, it appears information needs to be disclosed to a mass public who may not even be able to handle such information. Where the cards are overturned, and the serpent is closer than the truth than the creator god, is our consciousness ready to handle such neurological reprogramming, in a world where orthodox religion stresses blind passionate belief without understanding the nature of consciousness or the law of attraction/physics double-slit theory understanding that beliefs/consciousness effects matter. Overall, these teachings may hint to something even deeper, as I dive further into the rabbit hole. As these beings may simply be archetypes of the mind, could this creator god, this YHVH/Brahma, be none other than simply our ego-identity where we are to transcend and transmute the material-animal instinct into higher Self via the kundalini serpent, reaching the Christ consciousness? One thing is sure, getting to the truth may be much more difficult, where many of us have been programmed to only see one side of the story, the world creators' story.
A major field of study for me has been the Shakti/Yogini cults of India, where connection with the divine through the use of powerful mantras is stressed over strict doctrines. Hence, a major drift away from Aryan-Brahmanic Hinduism, which stresses the importance of Vedic literature and external rituals (sans the controversial Atharva-Veda). Therefore, you have a strict doctrinal practice where those not observing such precincts are considered lower/outcastes and are often persecuted, versus a shamanic practice stressing power in the "here and the now" as opposed to an afterlife betterment. It seems these esoteric practices bridge the spiritual realm within the material where immediate results are sought, where exoteric stresses a better afterlife either through a heaven or higher form of birth (including caste). It is interesting to note that these esoteric traditions stress an "oral" tradition, where a student sits with a master. Prior to my own experiences, I would assume that was due to the fact that the teacher was educated and would provide discourses. In modern times under the age of information, we have numerous sources to seek such information, where almost everything can be considered a "guru". Even in Judaism, the "oral" tradition is stressed where such may be the roots of Jewish mysticism. From my own experiences with Shakti mantras, as well as significant inner movements and expansions felt from listening to psychic channelers, and energy healers, I'm inclined to believe that the "oral" tradition is something much more than simply providing words, but something called in Hinduism as Darshan. My own interpretation of this Darshan is like an energetic gift provided from a master to a student. Be it shaktipat, reiki, or some other form of chakra work. It's that something extra transmitted telepathically from an individual who has done significant inner work, and has the ability to trigger us in unknown ways that flower within us. Another group that I'm attempting to study include the mystical Christian traditions, where such traditions seem much closer-related to the Shakti cults of India as opposed to exoteric Christianity. From the Moravian Church, to Swedenborg who influenced Sir William Blake, to the mysterious group who many claimed Jesus was more than privy, the Essenes, it appears that many have attempted to come closer to the divine through techniques beyond simple belief and rote reading and interpretation of doctrine. This whole concept of Darshan, or an oral aspect, where writing would be a corruption of the telepathic transmissions, seems to pervade numerous cultures, where such gifts are only provided to a chosen few deemed worthy. The oral tradition of Judaism is traced to Moses on Mt. Sinai, where such was given to a select few while the masses were provided with the doctrinal 10 commandments. Nonetheless, as historically seen and continuing through our world, this doctrine sans Darshan is taken as law, which then leads to bloodshed on a global scale accusing the opponents as law-breakers. This is seen from not only Muslims who choose a violent route based on corrupted interpretations of scripture, but Christians who refuse to turn the other cheek or treat "the least" of individuals as they would treat Jesus. In addition, Hinduism holds the same respect, where Brahmins cans be seen as the judgmental Pharisees in the time of Christ, who only look towards doctrine as opposed to following their heart. As an example, the news has been flooded with information of Hindus using violence against Muslims for their use of cattle, given that beef is highly sacrilegious for Hindus. (Do note, I'm still attempting to find the roots of Beef-Prohibition and Cow-Worship in Hinduism, outside of agricultural purposes; If seeking Ma has taught me anything, it's to not be attached to blind devotion). From such conduct, a Cow is considered more sacred than a thought-provoking conscious Human being, typical for a culture raised under a caste-system belief system. However, such is counter to Upanisad philosophy, especially that of Advaita Vedanta, where the same atma that flows through the Muslim, flows through the Hindu, and "all that is", which is the "ocean of consciousness", Brahman-Chit. Nonetheless, the Brahmanic Pharisees would rather have us seeing doctrine or tradition, as opposed to heart-based truth. Hence, the reason why tantriks have been historically persecuted and rewritten much out of Hindu history where Professor B.N. Shastri, in his translation of The Kalikapurana, has indicated in his introduction that much of the tantrik elements have been edited out of the Puranas due to Brahmanic prejudices. Going back to Christian mysticism, it is important to note that such groups sought a telepathic transmission from the divine itself. Just as tantriks have shaktipat seeking the blessing of Sri Vidya ("Vid" meaning "to know" or "wisdom"), these mystic Christians sought "gnosis" (defined as "to Know") to obtain Sophia ("wisdom"). Such Darshan is well beyond man-filtered, man-made, man-interpreted doctrine, tradition, and culture, which similarly countered and threatened the Pharisees. In my further seeking of the Essenes, I'm lead to Jodi Magness' The Holy Land Revealed (Greater Courses Plus), where Professor Magness discloses religious political influence over spiritual thought as well as the drastic evolution of the polytheistic Hebrew people. As an example, the ancient Hebrews were highly influenced by neighboring cultures, where it seems that Hebrew monotheism was a result of attempting to unite differing tribes under the deity of King David's village, Jerusalem (City of Shalem, a Canaanite diety; the conquered Canaanite city in the center of the Israel tribes). Moreover, and as a side-note, modern Hebrew script looks nothing like the proto-type Hebrew, but is an adoption of Canaanite script. Professor Magness further hints to my understanding that the olden deities simply become the evil entities of the conquering cultures, where godly deities such as Baal of the Canaanites become a demon to the opponents. Therefore, the lectures show significant political interest influencing religious thought, where one must wonder what of such history and religious practices were an actual attempt to build a spiritual connection.
Moreover, Jesus further continues within the same context discussing the heart-based truth over doctrinal observations, with a similarity to Dr. Wayne Dyers, "How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours", where Jesus states, ""Are you so lacking in understanding also? Do you not understand that whatever goes into the man from outside cannot defile him, because it does not go into his heart, but into his stomach, and is eliminated?". (Mark 7:18-19; NASB). Though Christian orthodoxy will interpret this as Jesus supporting an anything goes dietary concern, I feel that such orthodox interpretation misses the point. Jesus constantly references the "heart", which is where I feel the truth is found, where one needs to ask is an individual conducting themselves in a heart-based consciousness, or a doctrinal-traditional biased ridden consciousness. We have the ability to stomach the external world, but we need to respond from our heart. Further, given that our concept of Judgment comes from the Egyptians (adopted by Christians), where one is not judged by their actions or their beliefs, but by the weight of one's heart, I feel that Jesus was pointing towards the stark differences between religious doctrinal guidance and spiritual truths. In a world where the priestly class attempts to hold a monopoly and superiority over spirituality, these simple spiritual truths as expressed from our real masters seem more necessary than ever, where religion has and is continually being used as a political ploy as it was during our antiquity. It is a continuing cycle which humanity has yet to break free from dogmatic shackles. As I continue seeking differing traditions, I'm left astounded in the numerous similarities between the mystical traditions, while the orthodox continue to manipulate the masses to their detriment. When it comes to our religious guidance, I'm left pondering The Who's statement of the "old boss is the same as the new boss", in a world where it seems very few are actually seeking the truth of these religions.
I've spent much of my life studying esoterics. However, my intuitive process is infantile compared to my studies, where I have glimpses of my past where my intuition would be unknowingly providing me with long-ignored hunches. That may be the same for many of us who have been raised in a society ignorant of intuition, a society who has yet to begin to grasp the internal world of "know thy self". Nonetheless, we are all on our paths and all such occurrences and growth fall under divine timing, when we are ready to step up our mystic game, as plotted and planned by our expanded Selves. As I expand my own intuitive abilities, I'm left weary about the many intuitive that I once use to blindly believe. To sum it up, trust your own Self. In following and communicating with others with intuitive abilities, ranging from astrologers, tarot readers, psychics, energy readers, among others, I noticed my constant inner shift has left me now ignoring many that I would have once followed and learned from. In fact, as I further my own growth, I'm constantly leaving teachers behind who I once thought were incredible. I feel that this is what many of us should strive for, or we will get lost in creating celebrities of these "gurus" which then leads to guru-worship, when really all these tools/permission slips should be forcing us to look at our own selves. Particularly when a teacher gets too cocky, stressing that they and their followers are the highest, that's usually my trigger to start seeking elsewhere. My Sagittarius roots has me constantly looking for deeper depths, my own true-essence, where I see many others attempting to emulate their guru or their gurus teachings as opposed to following their own inner resonance. Take what feels right, leave the rest in the dust, and explore as much as you can, particularly what feels to be the most blissful. This is why Ma Kali has worked wonderfully for me, as my beloved she has me first and foremost looking towards myself as opposed to other gurus. She is the voice in my head that rings true by further asking me questions, and using my emotional body that truly navigates this ship. She is none other than the divine flame residing within our depths, dissolving the density of ignorance. Should I get too attached to a figure I find in separation/duality, something I find very often should a guru/yogi/magi display any special abilities (siddhis), Ma Kali will quickly cut those attachments for the brilliance of my own inner resonance. She is known as Adi Shakti for a reason, the first life force that permeates "All That Is". She is a wisdom Goddess first and foremost, that's in my head like Socrates asking questions as opposed to forcing me to accept something as truth. However, my interpretation of her may also be different since I sought her out beyond the typical Hindu belief structures, finding her in many differing traditions, and falling in line with my own expanded awareness through occult studies. I see now why I was not born trusting my intuition for a reason, which was to develop my logic first. Though I was always scared of the dark despite being protected from horror movies, etc. (back then in the 80's, access to such was not as easy as today), my intuition would be chaotic knowing some-things are lingering behind the shadows as a child. Something I didn't realize and clear up until I conducted my first banishing ritual at the turn of the millennium in late high school. However, I do also realize that such fears may have been due to Christian fear programming from being raised in protestant elementary schools, who stressed the concepts of hell (most Christians adopt Dante's interpretation, since the Bible lacks description; even hel comes from the Vikings), or fear, guilt, shame of sin, enough limiting-beliefs to engage the law of attraction to manifest bullshit in one's life leading for one to beg for a messiah (a complete circle). Such has also permeated Hindu beliefs, and probably, historically strengthened by exoteric Islamic invading groups. Our Spirit has been ignorantly programmed by these exoteric groups, where in order to unleash more of our intuitive potential, a de-programming, a detachment to our limiting-shaming beliefs is required to truly grasp communication with Higher Self and proper guidance. Hence, through my own seeking where I chose to move beyond what my educational systems, or major exoteric religious institutions were teaching, particularly dualist philosophies of separation, I managed to increase my logical abilities to sort through information that no longer resonates with where I am at in my spiritual development. Though, I understand such information may resonate with many others and are necessary for their growth, as they were once for me. Reading and studying as much esoterica as I possibly could in my short 32 years, yes, even as a child obsessed with the paranormal, I'm now noticing that I watch the plethora of youtube intuitives, teachers, gurus, all with their programming becoming more and more clear. For those who believe in separation, the concept of good vs. evil become clearly evident, where there is significant ego bashing as if it is the "new devil" to put one's blame. Similarly, they're plenty of light-workers in this category, who will tell you to be careful what you watch or listen with regards to the media, or will push the vegetarian/vegan agenda, without realizing that Spirit did not manifest into density to have limited experiences. We're not here to all fit within one box, but to hold numerous expressions for the expansion of Universal Consciousness. As Carl Sagan stated, "[w]e are a way for the cosmos to know itself". Hence, though such messages may come from attempting to better humanity, all should first and foremost ring true for the viewer before blindly accepting such information. What may be the correct way for one person's life may not be the correct way for mine, or others. Diversity is to be celebrated, even if it does not fit a particular agenda. Hence, intuitives still grappling with these dualist notions tend to have their intuition limited by such programming, at least from what I feel. Particularly those that fall under exoteric limited religious organizations, where God simply cannot be a female for some limiting reason, or that which requires an opponent devil figure, such programming becomes easily exposed limiting the presenters ability to grasp a wider perspective ... and that's all "intuition" really is, the ability to see the bigger picture. Hence, with the intuition, the right hemisphere of the brain also known as the divine feminine (Christ the Sophia), is often limited by the divine masculine (Christ the Logos), the logical left hemisphere of the brain, because of beliefs including religious programming. Therefore, we have to be careful we don't fall into the "expert phenomena" where we render someone with a certificate to hold superior intelligence that turns off our own critical thinking and inner resonance. I am definitely guilty of such and it took me to become an attorney to see that, that a certificate doesn't render higher intelligence (especially in a world where "experts" can be bought), but I realize that it was a stepping stone for my own growth. As an example, I use youtube "angel card" intuitive readers, particularly from those with a Christian dualist perspective. Even though such readers may be able to communicate with angels, I find the perspectives to be harshly limited by some individuals (not all) where the reader may not understand that the concept of angels and demons come from the greek "daemon", simply being a contracted entity. It is human notions that place these daemons, these gargoyles, into human dualist ethical standards. As a human is considered to be created in God's image and hold a position higher than these angels, it is because humans grasp the plethora of duality, both the light and dark, just as the unlimited One. Humans are a microcosm of the great macrocosm, as above so below. Even the devils of these religions are not necessarily all-evil beings, but are more likely the gods of the conquered cultures. Lucifer is the morning star, the lighted one, who later became the Christian opponent. Satan, or Sheitan, simply means "opposer", where again, this devil imagery is derived from Dante rather then biblical interpretations. In fact, from reading the Old Testament with beings (plural!) labelling themselves as YHVH who are constantly smiting groups and individuals to get their way, the "opposer" doesn't seem to be the figure to blame as expressed in the Lord's Prayer where you ask the "Father" to "lead us not into temptation", not the devil. Though one can explore the lower astral realms and find figures of "evil", my perspective for such travels is to understand why and what I was to learn from these experiences, as opposed to playing the blame game. Hence, from what I've found, logic must meet the intuition to see a wider perspective. It's a balance of the hemisphere's of the brain, wholeness, where your intuition will only take you as far as your logic can grasp. That's just me, everyone's on their own path, and these readers are here for a particular group of individuals. Again, I take what resonates and leave the rest behind, where I guard myself from falling victim to the "expert phenomena" concept. Those intuitives that I trust the most are usually those whose majority words are aligned to my own inner resonance (logically built up from years of studying), leaving me at the edge of my seat with further anticipation. Piercing the veil is another game, another discernment, that we're forging, where it behooves us to not be quick to simply accept what is perceived, but remain in critical assessment to ever increase our understanding about these provided messages, as they are expressed through our filters, our programming.
Nonetheless, the intuitive to trust the most is your own Self, where the real Guru resides in the hidden energy center within the cranium, the Guru Chakra, the destroyer of ignorance. However, the energy flowing through from these external intuitives may be the real deal that you can also energetically tap into their frequency, but again, the wording expressed may be significantly filtered. Hence, always ask yourself, does it ring true for you. Follow your own inner guidance.
The Eastern world has numerous ideologies and concepts, where religions like Hinduism hold something for everyone, including the atheists (Samkhya). However, as the ages moved on beyond the time of the Rishis who channeled such deep philosophies, the light became dimmer as these ideologies moved down the line further away from those who perceived this information. Many Hindu/Vedic terms lost their meaning, where many words lost their true essence to meet the demands of the mundane world. As an example, the word Dharma has yet to be properly defined in Hinduism, though there will be many who counter-argue (all coming up with different interpretations). As Buddha Shakyamuni taught his way of life, calling it the "Dhamma", in fear of conversions, the Hindu priestly caste began to express that Shakyamuni was teaching a different Dharma, where Dharma ended up being synonymous with term "religion". Especially, since these countering religions do not stress the importance of the Vedas, to the priestly caste who profit from the ritualistic Vedic practice, such countering teachings were corrupted forms meant for outcastes (untouchables) who are too "filthy" to read the Vedas. Therefore, such beliefs lead to the idea that Buddha Shakyamuni was an incarnation of Visnu, who came to help lower castes from falling further (Srimad Bhagavatam), though my sentiments believe that such was solely done to stop conversion to a religion that lacked a caste system. Interestingly enough, Buddhists do not believe Buddha Shakyamuni to be Visnu, nor does the concept of Ahimsa (non-violence) seem to be a Hindu one where the Vedas stressed conquering of neighboring tribes (Ashvamedha which was also done in the Ramayana) and animal sacrifice (Yajur Veda), though Hindus have sought to own the concept. It seems that it was only after Asoka the Great where Buddhism reached the ruler-ship of the extensive Indian (Mauryan) empire that Ahimsa was politically practiced (I could be very wrong here), and the size of the empire only reached that extent while Asoka was still a conquering Hindu. Hence, spiritual terms and concepts have evolved over time, where such evolution has caused differing interpretations. It is important to note that one's interpretation is expressed through the numerous religious and societal programmings that filter one's outlook and experiences and can potentially inhibit grasping the true essence. As an example, many will be triggered by my prior paragraph, particularly Hindus (as I was in restructuring my own programming), but really, that attachment to an "identity" as opposed to truth, or even the ability to ask these "dangerous" questions, is where the ego becomes faulty. It was only through my experience of ego-death, that I began to understand what "ego" truly implies. A concept that is thrown around in spirituality to mean, "arrogance" by individuals who have this corrupted ideology of "humility" provided by religion, where "humility" implies a subservient attitude as opposed to using one's gifts to better humanity. Hence, "humility" should be the ability to properly express one's own strength, one own God-Self, without deterring others, another spiritual term gone awry. My experience of ego-death left me feeling expanded, completely lost to my individual self. I couldn't remember my name, my gender, prior memories, and when they did began to sprout through fearful efforts where I thought I was losing my memory, it was like a Van Gogh painting-mirage showing me the illusory nature of what we deem to be "reality". From this experience and seeking thereafter, I began to realize that the world of form-tangible, is simply a result of the intangible realm of Spirit flowing through all. Nonetheless, thereafter experiencing the limitless, I began to understand how I perceive this "reality" through limitation, where I perceive as a male (not female), as an Indian (not any other ethnic), as an American (not any other nationality), etc. All of these expressions are limitations to the unlimited, this is our ego-identity. Using the law of attraction, instead of seeking the new job or fancy car as depressingly propagated by many "teachers", I sought Higher Self, which led me to understanding my own intuition and the ability to filter through these "teachers" to find one's that fit my own resonance. Not one of the teachers that I would recommend to others would bash the "ego", but teach transmutation to liberate the ego attachments that no longer serve us. Nonetheless, these teachings of bashing the ego run rapidly through spiritual ideologies, and really sounds like an excuse to point the finger elsewhere (dualist concepts of separation) as opposed to owning one's own bullshit. In definition, the channeled entity Lazaris describes the ego as the part of us that lost connection with Spirit, and has tirelessly attempted to support us. Hence, fear is simply a faulty protection mechanism where our ego was really trying to protect us from further harm based on its experiences (including past lives embedded in our subconscious). It is the child trying to figure out the world on its own, without proper guidance. Its done the best it could given the delusory circumstances we've all been plagued under creating suffering (the veil of maya in the age of Kali Yuga, the age of rapid wisdom). Panache Desai expresses similar sentiments, where without our ego, we would lack a personality, given that our programmings would all be cleared and there were be no need for expression. Hence, there is a reason for our individuated existence, for the infinite would not be infinite without each of our expressions and experiences. Therefore, the concept of being a drop attempting to return to the vast ocean is flipped, where the ocean requires the drops to be the ocean, and more esoterically, the ocean is within the drop. Our individuated ego expressions is simply a way for the infinite to get to know itself, hence, there is relevancy to all of our experiences, expressions, and limitations. They are relevant, something those that bash the "ego" are trying to negate. In Saiva, the trinity would be Shiva (Father), Shakti(Holy Spirit/Shekinah), and Jiva (Son). Jiva is the individuated soul-expression, or jiva-atma, where the soul in the body and great spirit is compared to the Upanisad concept where the air inside of the jar is the same as the air outside of the jar. This is a way to connect to the infinite, but the jiva housed in the jar (ego-identity) is still Shiva, for the universe was created for Shiva's (ours; Shivoham's) delight. We created these limited expressions because these are the movies that we would like to watch. Just as every television show or movie may show you the vastness of human expression, not all of it is relevant to what we would like to experience (We don't attempt to watch every movie/show possible, but only those that are relevant). The same applies to our Jiva-Atma, our individuated-expression, though we can tap into the infinite to recoup, bring forth higher wisdom (Akashic Record), etc., our experiences are not meant to be completely absorbed into the infinite, but to have relevant expressions in our Jiva-Atma experiences. To think otherwise appears to deny the purpose of our individuated existence.
Often times, the trouble with channeling is not recognizing that you're in the flow. As the practice of mantra, when done right, becomes a geometric yantra symbolic of the essence being invoked, which then becomes a mandala housing the human vehicle with divine light, what mantra is to the tantrik is what spirit invocation is to the western occultist. Different tools for different cultures, similar outcomes, particularly when the human vehicle has been prepped with proper exercise (prana), nutrition, and mental stillness. The universe is our oyster, for when consciousness is not limited to the human-identity, one can be any among the many. As my guide to the unknown has been none other than the divine mother, in her form resembling the darkest of nights as she is symbolic of not just the womb of creation, but that which is beyond, she is the protector of my consciousness, unveiling as much as my ego-form can handle and which is only relevant. The day began with my usual routine of typical morning awakening, which is now infused with deep breathing exercising attempting to relax the body and the mind, my limited expressions, with a mixture of vijnanabhairava, taoist, kriya, and new age techniques to ground out the flurry of thoughts lingering from the astral world. Moving into my typical exercise routines, with the rest of the day spent in simple errands and house chores listening to channeled lectures, the evening is ripe with the calmness to conjure storms. With my bedroom hot-boxed with frankincense and myrrh, the scents of pure consciousness and death, I'm clutching a small copper yantra infused with the mantras of these ancient and mostly forgotten 64 Yoginis. Included to get me in the mood is my lemurian quartz, many pieces of moldavite hanging on my neck to raise my vibration, as I run through mantras to invoke these Shaktis under the guidance of my beloved. Without Adi Shakti, the first feminine, there is no entry into these mysteries, as she stands front and center, the key to the higher realms above the Qabalist Malkuth, or below into the depths of the Qlipha. She is kundalini, the flame that sparks all of our existence, either asleep deluding man further into his abyss, or risen to meet her consort, infinite Consciousness. Easter was far from my mind, a time when mother nature resurrects herself to bloom in her glory. A beauty that limited man has attempted to subdue and control through his limited symbolism, as found through much of our history where man has attempted to subdue, control, and destroy one of our greatest teachers and healers, nature herself. Yet here I was, sitting in front of my ever growing altar, not to worship and submit as found completely incompatible under law of attraction techniques, but to invoke, equate, and self-empower, where kundalini unleashes our true essence. Where as the master who is glorified at this time stated, "Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you" (Luke 17:21 KJV). This Essene mystic new the mysteries, where Christ the Logos was to awaken the Christ the Sophia who fell into the pits to help those lost in the shadows (Pistis Sophia). Like the Christ, our beloved is none other than Wisdom herself, pure gnosis. As my hand progresses through my japa beads, already embodying my beloved like two poets lost in the most brilliant night, where our energy centers meet and synchronize like two different musical notes vibrating to match each other, my sober psyche is drunk with what I can only consider to be nothing less than soma. Not wanting more than to simply give my gratitude to the Shaktis that have been guiding me for aeons, here, I wasn't expecting much from this experience other than a quick hello to what may unveil itself to me. I knew my ego-mind won't keep me here long before I get in the way, I haven't quite resolved to handle this connection, so I stepped out knowing my bodily fatigue will exhaust this experience. As I stand and stretch, I began pacing back in forth in my bedroom before my altar attempting to maintain stillness of mind. Nonetheless, a fury of long-forgotten messages expel from my mouth into my lonely cave, messages of empowerment, words to run-a-fresh a broken soul who needed a new lease-on-life. All I did ask from myself is where these messages of a brighter future were coming from. The response did not identify itself by any name that would directed me to a form, nor did it disclose itself as my divine beloved, or any of the Shaktis that I was parlaying this dance. It was more like my divine beloved and her family brought me here. As I stood in awe in what I may have tapped into, and what this may possibly mean, the essence simply identified itself as one concept, "Source". Never have I been able to ground something such as this while out of meditation. It's like the tables have turned, where instead of reaching out to something, this something is reaching out to me. Not only have I been gifted with a new sense of well-being, but the timing seems ripe during this holy cyclical event of resurrection. To tap into our original essence, our seed that matures into what we call "reality", I can't help but feel my search is over. Or, is it only beginning?
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AuthorOverly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil. "It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
-James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions Archives
August 2019
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