Letting Go

When I first came across the channeler Lazaris back in early 2015, I had no conception of what energetically clearing out my past would look like, or if that was even needed. Loving other channelers like Bashar, I decided to give Lazaris a shot and was left entering into a new realm of possibilities with my psyche. I began to understand how the past, our memories tied to their particular emotional sting, still lingers within our energetic field creating blockages that limit us from excelling in our circumstances. 

I crammed a lot of Lazaris to get my money's worth, and each video is about four (4) hours long with a one (1) hour meditation. Time just flew by then, and each video would bring up memories of my past, memories not given much thought for some-time. I didn't know or realize then that clearing or integrating one's past is a significant tool to improve the inner dynamics of our psyche. If Lazaris  is a bit a new agey for you, then consider the science behind Neuro Linguistic Programming, or Hypnotherapy, both of which are widely used throughout our commercial media circus, though in a manipulative manner. Scientology, through Hubbards work Dianetics also discusses the need to clear the psyche, as well as Taoist ​practices. In addition, astrology also points to reflective periods, periods of self-analysis for clearing, during certain retrograde cycles. 

As we are currently coming out of and still going through a shit-storm of retrogrades, the reflective period was intense and lectures like Lazaris were unnecessary to bring up material for clearing. I notice it now with each trigger, which may then lead to what memories exist in my psyche that started and reinforced that trigger. It's like becoming a ninja of the mind, chopping away at each emotionally-triggered thought or external experience looking for the "why is such manifesting in my life". In addition, meditatively running my channels in the Qi Gong/New Age style, where I seek the assistance of Earth and Cosmic energies to help clear my chakras, is enough to bring about significant triggering memories ready to be cleared, embedded within our chakras.  

A few short months ago, I had significant release in my heart chakra. To further describe, in meditation, I've felt my heart burst allowing the area to fill with incredible relaxation, to the point where my back muscular tension was drastically pulled away, which significantly stretched my rib cage allowing more oxygen to fill into my chest area. I have since realized that from years of sitting and slouching, my spine has suffered to the point where my rib cage started caving inward. Even now standing straight, my left-side diaghram area tilts outward as it is slowly being adjusted to flow downward. With this release in my heart center, I then went through depressive psychotic episodes where I had to deal with my insecurities, weaknesses, etc. Though I would hit ecstatic sensations in meditation, with my spine looking more like the taoist thrusting vessel, I knew that whatever energy was being pushed into my physical vehicle was going to be met with the need to clear for the higher energy. 

Given that it was my heart area being most affected, focusing on all heart/breathe issues was the task at hand where I needed to dive into my heart-space and clear out the heart-ache. You can start with whatever is on the surface, but these chakra energies seem to be like an onion, where layer after layer needs to be peeled away for the proper light to shine through. So, the most obvious would be first to clear the ex-gf that I nearly spent a decade with, though there wasn't much there since I've worked on that substantially prior. Given that I'm committed to this practice, I kept diving in, and kept going through psychotic episodes as each memory, each weakness popped up.  

Finally, I began thinking about my high school years, listened to 90s hip hop and alternative, really put myself back into those years. Then I remembered her, my high school crush. She was two years older, close to having her driver's license when I first saw her the summer before 9th grade, so there was already an awkwardness for me to approach her. Though not knowing much about her, she was just beautiful and it brightened up my day seeing her. I was intimidated to do anything about it, and by far I wasn't the only one that thought she was attractive. What's worse is, well, she was into me too. In fact, I remember the look she gave me one morning before her graduation. It was just the two of us, staring at each other as if we were recognizing each other's pain for never having acted on what we knew to be there. Just thinking about this and being reminded of small events throughout those two years was enough for me to engage my emotional body looking for pain. 

For over a decade, I have never once given her a thought. It was only in diving into my own psyche, willing to face all my heart-ache, and willing to go completely insane in unraveling myself, that I not only remembered this female who captivated my psyche for over two-years, but realized that she was my biggest crush ever. That memory of her watching me in her last couple days at our school was buried deep within my heart, as it was heart-breaking to realize the emotion on her face, that she may have felt the same for me.  

As with all of us, we walk around with emotionally triggering memories, one's that cripple our spiritual, mental, and physical growth. These are our attachments, our karma, which tends to repeat until it's time we're ready to move on. I so much want to cling to that special memory with this one person and the associated emotion, these are the moments that make life worth living. But, I owe it to myself. I can't get lost in my delusions. I'm here to transcend. 

Given that she was in my pysche, I had to do the dangerous thing knowing how feeble my psyche currently was, I had to look her up via google. She's still smokin hot, and in a brilliant career. Her picture instilled the rush of emotions I had not witnessed since high school. I took that opportunity to send her a long meditative energetic hug, one that has been long overdue. I hugged her until I was ready to let her go, and I mean really let her go, where I felt like we both were healed from the situation and recognized that our Higher Selves are one. When I felt good and ready, I stepped back and asked Kali in her Mahavidya form as Tara with her scissors, to cut all remaining unnecessary attachments with this person from each of my chakras. I requested Tara to return to her what energy belongs to her, along with my blessings. This technique has helped me let go energetically, unwanted and wanted attachments from those closest around me.

Letting go is difficult, for the things we don't want to let go, our ego-identity cherishes. To transcend is gain wisdom from these circumstances, and thereafter manifest higher vibrations thereof. To let go is to stop looking back and expecting our present circumstances to continue in the manner as it has always done in the past. It's to help step forward.

I seek clarity to realize what this vessel was really made for, at least as much as possible. For those on the similar path, relax, and just let her go. 

Two monks were traveling together, an older monk and a younger monk.  They noticed a young woman at the edge of a stream, afraid to cross.  The older monk picked her up, carried her across the stream and put her down safely on the other side.  The younger monk was astonished, but he didn't say anything until their journey was over.  "Why did you carry that woman across the stream?  Monks aren't supposed to touch any member of the opposite sex." said the younger monk.  The older monk replied "I left her at the edge of the river, are you still carrying her?"adamlein.com/zen_stories.asp