In moving into and working with the Qliphoth, though it was known to me from prior teachers, it appears to be the case here as well, where the Universe has provided numerous road maps for ascension. In other words, I really don't see a difference between the Right Hand Path ("RHP") and Left Hand Path ("LHP"). Though one may take you into "presence", the other more like a "void space" or "awareness" looking away from itself, these two seem to complement each other. In order to play the game, you are part of the One, where any forms of separation appear to be another reflection of yourself. It's the One getting to know the One through the duality of separation.
In climbing the tree of life, the goal for every adept appears to be returning before the fall of man. In other words, returning to the state of Adam-Lilith Kadmon, or humanity's original Godhood. The adept oscillates and harmonizes between the dual poles of the tree of life, the pillar of severity and the pillar of mercy, to balance and harmonize something within oneself. Too much of competition/war (pillar of severity) can lead to the hells, especially if such is not balanced with love (pillar of mercy).
In reaching the abyss (Daath), as I was following a Western practice, I invoked Jesus for assistance. Despite my efforts, no assistance was provided. I was forewarned about angels not assisting earlier. Reaching for Padmasambhava brought me back to "presence" where I can observe the events from the observer state. Same applied when walking through the hells of Golachab. Though, I was initially shocked at the existence of a "hell", it made me question what was meant when a "god" can send a being to heaven or hell. Moreover, I'm left sadly pondering if people who hold such belief systems can actually end up in such a pit. I'm not too eager to dive back in and find the answers. As a devotee of Kali, she walked with me by my side removing all fear, as I simply just wanted to look, and rush out of it. I can handle the images of serpents devouring me as I can perceive it as a movie, but watching people burning in Hell raised too many questions. For now, rather than ponder and engage the monkey mind, "presence" is the goal. The goal is pushing for inner completion, or an attempt to resolve as many issues as possible to anchor in "presence" of the kingdom of heaven (Kether).
As noted above, Jesus did not assist. This was quite disappointing, especially afterwards with numerous people taking to youtube expressing Jesus was near them. That led me to think, are they talking to the "formless" Christ consciousness, or are they talking to a historical Jesus? In moving through the abyss, the adept is essentially Jesus, Siddhartha, Mohammed, and many others attempting to move into the kingdom of heaven (kether). It was only later I realized, Jesus didn't have a "Jesus" to reach for assistance while he was in the desert. While the adept walks through the abyss, like Jesus, it is the adepts own Will that must push the adept into the next sephirot and actually enter the Supernal Triad, or fall back into the shell of the tree of life, Qliphoth. Here, the adept has no assistance, and must face his demons. In other words, here, you have to be like Jesus. Like Shakti meditations, where you invoke Shiva to harness Shakti, I'm left worrying about individuals who practice the Qliphoth without an ascended master whose moved into Kether. Yes, strengthening the lower self is a goal for such practices, as I have found significant lower gut/pubic clearing, in addition to being strengthened. It was like years of being punched in the stomach were finally being healed as I was finding strength within myself. Nonetheless, the goal of the adept is transcendence, as has been stressed by Asenath Mason (Temple of Ascending Flame). This is not "light" versus "dark" or "good" versus "evil", but harnessing, and actually loving, the completeness of the human potential.
As the ritual required a Goetic demon, I was expecting something out of a horror movie. Truthfully, all this demon needed was to remove me out of "presence", as I had started each ritual with advaita meditations. In addition to being thrown back into "personhood" where the monkey-mind may have its way with me, I realized that all this demon did was remove "hope". The removal of this veil forced me to see what lurks under the feeling of "hope", and of course, the Sitra Ahra is the unconscious. Hence, significant clearing using other methods should be done prior and after to ensure the psychology of the adept. My blog shows numerous individuals that I've used to clear issues, where I have relied on Lys Campbell's Akashic Reboot and other techniques, Panache Desai's numerous energy work including kundalini awakenings to help the adept clear out each chakra, in addition to numerous youtube transmissions (Steve Nobel; Ellaeenah Jadefire) to clear such issues.
Reaching for the supernal triad was not an issue, as I have already significantly studied this aspect using the Right Hand Path. In addition, the first sephirot after the abyss is Binah, the Mother Goddess. If anything, that's the sephirot I would have failed, as why would anyone leave the Divine Mother. Nonetheless, the supernal triad was again, harnessing the aspects of "I Am That" coming down the tree of life and "That Am I" in moving up the tree of life, I would opinion. Though another issue arose in concluding the ritual. I will invoke beings so long as I'm in control, hence, many of the invocations I had no issue. Nonetheless, some invocations required signing a book, particularly with Lucifer who made an appearance after I had simply glossed over the invocation. My first instinct was to flip that book around and make Lucifer sign my book, not an act of arrogance, but this is what I would expect in seeking sovereignty. Lucifer tended to drift away as I stared into his trident, where I then asked myself, is Lucifer the same as Shiva. Though the image and its energy drifted away without me acknowledging his book, I looked at the trident, a typical tantrik tool, and wondered if the trident represented the Hindu G-O-D aspect of generator, operator, and destroyer and the ability to harness it, something inherit within all humans. (See J.R. Picken, Ph.D, M.D., Creator Protector Destroyer).
Though I waited for some days thereafter, the concluding ritual was an invocation to Kali to essentially activate the chakras located towards the back of the skull. Kali represents Binah, along with other Mother Goddesses including Goddess Isis. Here, I would recommend the work of Elizabeth Lund (House of Idems), who personally helped clear away what I kept at the back of my mind. Ms. Lund is another spiritual scientist who has anchored in "presence", probably what I would consider a Bhairavi outside of an ashram. I am living evidence that a team should be utilized, where I've used the law of attraction not to attract wealth, romance, etc. (though I will after I'm satisfied with my seeking and locate new passions), but the best teachers. In fact, I think what Ms. Lund did for me last year, is similar to what practicing the Qliphoth did for me, where it made me feel good at first, which then sent me under the safe covers of my bed sheets for a good two weeks while I let it all out.
My greatest passion in life, was to unveil the mysteries of spirituality, the occult, etc., which gives me a deep appreciation for global cultures. Hence, I had to jump off the Qliphoth. Nonetheless, I probably had over a decade worth of studying, and it wasn't until I had internal nudges, personal tarot readings, etc. to provide me with guideposts. Such includes seeing repeating signs such as angel numbers, the Eastern 108 reminding me of "presence", and 144 or 441 which seems to be constantly repeating for the past few months on almost a daily basis. Moreover, in over a decade of remaining at my residence, birds never landed on my balcony. This year, my balcony appears to be a bird sanctuary. There's even a pigeon who decided to lay two (2) eggs in-between two of my plants during my ritual, and watching the Mamma pigeon who doesn't seem to be scared of me, is now one of my highlights. Nonetheless, pigeons represent coming home, as described in Ted Andrews, Animal Speak.
As I felt this ritual push my boundaries, it was easily tolerable so long as there was adequate time to purge. Sensitives have significantly developed, but I can tell I still have some psychological straightening to conduct, as I return to "presence" by and through my settled on teachers. Nonetheless, as with all of my practices, I'm left wondering why I chose to go against the grain in terms of what spirituality I practice. The vast number of youtubers saying Jesus was with them, left me wondering if I actually was the "bad guy". For example, invoking the Egyptian Deity Set was an eye-opener, where after a few minutes of feeling his energies I think to myself, "holy shit, this guy thinks like me". Set is just curious, where he is constantly presenting different perspectives, something necessary as lawyer. Nonetheless, his curiosity keeps him out of conformity, and not conforming to societies norms are considered weird. But yes, I was left feeling, "am I the devil", "am I the bad guy", for the mere fact that I'm quite curious about what lurks in the dark. Even if I walk the Qliphoth relatively sane, I will still be considered "bad" for the mere fact of practicing this. As the youtubers I follow were all providing some incredible energy work, the words they were presenting were "light" versus "dark", where I felt a significant amount of shame arising not knowing whether it was the resulting issues from practicing the Qliphoth, or simply being metaphorically brought back to my Protestant Elementary School Church. Especially having a different understanding of Lucifer now, who may have been the Poseidon archetype of Atlantis, a water deity banished to the subconscious, the light versus dark polarization may be done for me.
Nonetheless, one of my favorite channelers, Story Waters, provided me with the message that I needed, found through an email blast sent over the past weekend. Story Waters being one of favorites, as when he channels, so does his audience.
As long as you reject that which you do not understand, as long as you do not seek to open yourself to the viewpoints of that which opposes you, you will be polarized. You will be only half of what you are. The awakened one is one that loves all. And that is to love the all inside of yourself. And that is one who flies and falls, goes left and right, up and down, heavy and light, dark and light. One that knows that they are the whole palette but understands equally that within that palette they are human...
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Overly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil.
"It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
-James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions