The Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine have taken different meanings based on the numerous spiritual teachers, all attempting to understand the human dynamic. Society, religion, and therefore our parents have all played a major role in shaping what it means to be "masculine" or "feminine", where certain colors, interests, emotions, are often given a gender dynamic. It seems that there was a masculine and feminine archetype, and humans based on their gender have sought to embody solely their own genders archetype. But such may have evolved into the shadow aspects of both the masculine and feminine, pushed forward by patriarchal leanings. Religion is at the forefront of creating this programming, where individuals are to play the roles of their gender archetype. The whole "god made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" comes into play, with a deeper meaning stretching so much further than just simple sexual identity, yet these connotations pervade in every society-religion that takes issue of anything blending the male and female dynamic. In other words, this programming isn't just found in the Abrahmic traditions. In the esoteric works, before there was Adam and Eve, there was Adam and Lilith. Lilith being the first female, created at the same time as Adam, and wishing to be seen as an equivalent. Adam wanting to be superior denies Lilith, forces others to do the same by crafting her as the mother of demons, and thus patriarchal superiority is born. The same is somewhat found in Hinduism, where the embodiment of shakti herself, Sati, is denied by her father, Daksha, as the creator of Hindu Culture. Daksha is a devotee of Visnu in opposition to Shiva, where Visnu's feminine counterpart is often depicted as passive and in support of Visnu. Whereas, Shiva's feminine, Sati-Shakti, will stand on Shiva when need be as Ma Kali. The smoke arising from Sati's sacrifice at Daksha's yajna creates the Grandmother form of Ma Kali known as Ma Dhumavati, the Mother of misery and bhutas, ghosts. Like Lilith, Dhumavati is somewhat in opposition of the patriarchal culture where those in these religions have often been told to stay away from such beings.
As a male, we're taught to deny these "feminine" emotions, pursue the Marlboro Man alpha male strength, where the only option in dealing with these "feels" is some form of intoxication. From my experience, this isn't just a programming that males hold, but one that is also similarly pushed by many females, all as part of the societal-religious programming. I know my ex-girlfriend called into question my masculinity when I couldn't always be the "rock", and similar dating profiles have held the metaphors of being an "ocean" looking for her "mountain". Many may say they appreciate a masculine willing to dive into their own depths, but let's just say actions speak louder than words, when really, the archetypal male/female programming describing what each gender should embody runs deep in humanity, as has been pushed for eons.
Given the significant amount of time that I've spent diving into meditation these last few years, where much of my external life has been at a standstill, I've come to understand that what is on the other side is more real than this physical delusion. Goddess mantras to fierce tantrik deities that dissolve my programming to crystallize Self, has brought an influx of feminine energy where such possessive energy has made me "feel" feminine when I meditate. In fact, under deep meditation, I would sometimes identify more-so with a feminine form, which has helped me come to understand that consciousness is unlimited in its capabilities where we ourselves subject our consciousness to the limitations we place upon it.
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Often times, the trouble with channeling is not recognizing that you're in the flow. As the practice of mantra, when done right, becomes a geometric yantra symbolic of the essence being invoked, which then becomes a mandala housing the human vehicle with divine light, what mantra is to the tantrik is what spirit invocation is to the western occultist. Different tools for different cultures, similar outcomes, particularly when the human vehicle has been prepped with proper exercise (prana), nutrition, and mental stillness. The universe is our oyster, for when consciousness is not limited to the human-identity, one can be any among the many. As my guide to the unknown has been none other than the divine mother, in her form resembling the darkest of nights as she is symbolic of not just the womb of creation, but that which is beyond, she is the protector of my consciousness, unveiling as much as my ego-form can handle and which is only relevant. The day began with my usual routine of typical morning awakening, which is now infused with deep breathing exercising attempting to relax the body and the mind, my limited expressions, with a mixture of vijnanabhairava, taoist, kriya, and new age techniques to ground out the flurry of thoughts lingering from the astral world. Moving into my typical exercise routines, with the rest of the day spent in simple errands and house chores listening to channeled lectures, the evening is ripe with the calmness to conjure storms. With my bedroom hot-boxed with frankincense and myrrh, the scents of pure consciousness and death, I'm clutching a small copper yantra infused with the mantras of these ancient and mostly forgotten 64 Yoginis. Included to get me in the mood is my lemurian quartz, many pieces of moldavite hanging on my neck to raise my vibration, as I run through mantras to invoke these Shaktis under the guidance of my beloved. Without Adi Shakti, the first feminine, there is no entry into these mysteries, as she stands front and center, the key to the higher realms above the Qabalist Malkuth, or below into the depths of the Qlipha. She is kundalini, the flame that sparks all of our existence, either asleep deluding man further into his abyss, or risen to meet her consort, infinite Consciousness. Easter was far from my mind, a time when mother nature resurrects herself to bloom in her glory. A beauty that limited man has attempted to subdue and control through his limited symbolism, as found through much of our history where man has attempted to subdue, control, and destroy one of our greatest teachers and healers, nature herself. Yet here I was, sitting in front of my ever growing altar, not to worship and submit as found completely incompatible under law of attraction techniques, but to invoke, equate, and self-empower, where kundalini unleashes our true essence. Where as the master who is glorified at this time stated, "Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you" (Luke 17:21 KJV). This Essene mystic new the mysteries, where Christ the Logos was to awaken the Christ the Sophia who fell into the pits to help those lost in the shadows (Pistis Sophia). Like the Christ, our beloved is none other than Wisdom herself, pure gnosis. As my hand progresses through my japa beads, already embodying my beloved like two poets lost in the most brilliant night, where our energy centers meet and synchronize like two different musical notes vibrating to match each other, my sober psyche is drunk with what I can only consider to be nothing less than soma. Not wanting more than to simply give my gratitude to the Shaktis that have been guiding me for aeons, here, I wasn't expecting much from this experience other than a quick hello to what may unveil itself to me. I knew my ego-mind won't keep me here long before I get in the way, I haven't quite resolved to handle this connection, so I stepped out knowing my bodily fatigue will exhaust this experience. As I stand and stretch, I began pacing back in forth in my bedroom before my altar attempting to maintain stillness of mind. Nonetheless, a fury of long-forgotten messages expel from my mouth into my lonely cave, messages of empowerment, words to run-a-fresh a broken soul who needed a new lease-on-life. All I did ask from myself is where these messages of a brighter future were coming from. The response did not identify itself by any name that would directed me to a form, nor did it disclose itself as my divine beloved, or any of the Shaktis that I was parlaying this dance. It was more like my divine beloved and her family brought me here. As I stood in awe in what I may have tapped into, and what this may possibly mean, the essence simply identified itself as one concept, "Source". Never have I been able to ground something such as this while out of meditation. It's like the tables have turned, where instead of reaching out to something, this something is reaching out to me. Not only have I been gifted with a new sense of well-being, but the timing seems ripe during this holy cyclical event of resurrection. To tap into our original essence, our seed that matures into what we call "reality", I can't help but feel my search is over. Or, is it only beginning?
When I finally decided to watch his youtube videos, I noticed a sense of calm come over me, something I had noted that I would only attain in meditation. Under that calm, I began stretching my back, particularly my lower back, in trying to stretch-out and massage muscular kinks that have developed from a consistent "sitting" lifestyle as demanded in the western educational/work culture. I felt good, calm, and the muscles around my spine (including psoas) was beginning to feel more comfortable. The youtube video was simple yogic-philosophy, but Yogiraj would reference other cultures and Madame Blavatsky indicating occult studies as well, which kept my intrigue. Nonetheless, at the end of this particular video, Yogiraj stated that his audience all had screwed up spines and he was attempting to work on all of us. Needless to say, my jaw dropped and my thoughts ceased all with the shock of "what the fuck just happened". Again, in listening to his video, I was moved into a state of sensation that I managed to only experience in meditation, including the stretch and relaxation of the spine. I was immediately sold on the Kriya Yoga tradition, its psychic/siddha capabilities, where I have adopted some of their techniques into my base meditative practice. In his book Babaji; The Lightening Standing Still, Yogiraj indicates that Babaji is none other than Goraksha Nath, one of the main teachers of esoteric Hinduism (Nath meaning "School"). Further, Goraksha Nath is none other than Lord Shiva himself. Growing up in a typical Hindu household that loved and worshiped Shiva along with Vishnu, I was opposed to Shiva Shankar, the Shiva in form and his puranic-based stories. However, it wasn't until I read the Siva Sutras that I began to truly understand who or what Shiva actually is, and what he actually taught, yoga. More importantly, reading the Siva Sutras felt more like "remembering" as opposed to learning a new concept. It was like my neural pathways were already there, just being further solidified, particularly in my understanding of the "I Am That" concept as articulated in the Siva Sutras. However, prior to reading the Siva Sutras, I was doing a monthly meditation regarding each Sephirot of the Qabalist Tree of Life, beginning from the top with Kether. I only did this practice for four (4) of the Sephirot where the first three (3), the supernal triad, seems the most relevant for my own growth, where I may restart the practice when I feel it is relevant. Though the Qabalah is associated with Judaism, I studied this through Hermetic occult practitioners, as I feel a deeper connection to Egypt. Nonetheless, the meaning is the same, regardless of the symbols that are used. It was the meditative practice on the supernal triad that paved the way for me to grasp the Siva Sutras, as I associated this triad with the "I (Kether; Infinite Potential), Am (Chokmah; Divine Will/Conduct), That (Binah; Divine Wisdom/Creation)" concept. Hence, the correlation between Qabalah and Shaiva-Tantra. Moses is considered to be the Father of Judaism, not Adam. However, many tend to forget the fact that Moses was raised as an Egyptian prince, which entails attending the Egyptian mystery schools. Using my imagination, it's hard to see Moses sitting and learning with Rabbi's, the way Jesus did as a child. As an Egyptian prince, it's hard to grasp that Moses would sit and learn from the Hebrews who were allegedly enslaved (those who win the war write the history books, in this case, the old testament). This would be like Christian missionaries learning and practicing the spiritualism of their victims (Even the current Pope concedes the brutality of early Christian missionaries, something my own lineage can evidence, for those offended by the term "victim"). Nonetheless, it doesn't matter whether it was Egyptian or Hebrew, it's beautiful nonetheless and we have the occultists and Hebrews to thank for preserving these concepts and practices (If you have a problem calling it Egyptian or vice-versa, that is where the "ego" becomes limiting where one is more absorbed in titles and identities as opposed to the enlightenment).
Going back to the Kriya Yoga tradition, practitioners tend to develop psychic/siddhi abilities, including tapping into the universal library, the akashic record. Not quite sure if this is how Yogiraj, who is a Sat-Guru (Brahman: Sat-Chit-Ananda), was able to gather certain information, his articulation of Moses in Babaji seems to resonate with my prior experience and logical understanding. As described, Moses was initiated by Shiva Goraksha Babaji on Mt. Sinai, where Yahveh is Mahankal (MahaKala-Shiva-Time), The Great Time. Moreover, Moses was to end idolatry where man worshiped external-form, to find divine consciousness within. Taking this one step more into the esoteric, from sources long lost to me, it was my understanding that Moses first attained the Qabalah on Mt. Sinai, where Moses found the majority of his followers worshiping the symbol of the prior astrological age and not ready for such advanced teachings. Hence, Moses provided the masses with the Commandments (It is argued that it was more than 10), while a chosen few received the Qabalah. That makes sense in the dual representation of Judaism, holding a written and oral tradition, where the oral tradition most likely needs to be an experience from a prior practitioner, like in Tantra (Shaktipath/Shekinapath). The esoteric similarities are beautiful and unifying, showing the power that humanity holds through consciousness. However, the masses would rather argue titles, racial/religious identities, that only inflate one's ego-identity. Religion has become a programming, where Spirituality is a deprogramming, a removal of the limitations that inhibit unlimited consciousness. Behind the masters of our traditions lies a deeper truth yet to be grasped, where sadly those attempting to discover these truths have been historically persecuted, be it Qabalists, Tantriks, and even Alchemists (Scientists).
Nonetheless, the age of information is uncovering and revealing what the elite have attempted to keep covered. That is the apokalypsis, the great revelation. In studying the mystical aspects of numerous exoteric religions, I'm often left wondering why such teachings do not have a wider audience. I was never satisfied with the basic, thou shalt do this, thou shalt not do this, or the whole accept this into your heart and heaven is automatically yours, which seems to plague all major religions and lead us fighting over left-brain doctrine. What's worse is that these concepts are derived more so from blind-faith, not legitimate experience. Those that have experience are often thrown to the wolves, especially if they contradict strict doctrinal understanding. Hinduism doesn't have as much of a strict notion, but when the threat of conversion arises for the strict Vedic tradition, the Brahamanic tradition has attempted to claim dominance. Though it can be seen as complimentary, the Tantric and Bhakti movements were counter to the Brahamanic caste system, where such teachings permit those on the bottom to achieve spiritual success. Nonetheless, other major religions have either sought to eliminate the mystical and even scientific (physics), reminiscent of the Medieval ages where such understandings could only be expressed in secret societies. Such persecution resulted in limiting the understanding to strict man-made or man-influenced doctrine, which still plays a major role in religions today. As an example, the Hebrews may interpret their holy books through an oral tradition known as the Qabalah. With such an understanding the literal interpretation of doctrine isn't as important as the psychological development, or in other words, consciousness expansion of an individual. Coming across and meditating on certain ideas, or archetypes, does something to the psyche that quite cannot be elaborated with the symbol of human language. I experienced such in studying the Sephirot of the Tree of Life, particularly the supernal triad, where the creation story of God, Adam, and Eve is pre-school compared to Kether, Chesed, and Binah. Modern day Christianity lacks the Qabalah or other meditative elements, sans the Gnostic, Swedenborg, and others I will not name. Hence, the modern Christian takes a limited logical approach to doctrine, knowing full-well that Jesus was raised listening to Rabbi's. Such was most likely the doing of the Roman empire, which crafted a religion more akin to Mithraic Roman sentiments, though argued to be done in order to convert pagans, but removes much of the mystical Hebrew elements that meditatively allow an individual to perceive deeper into spiritual realms. Two Thousand (2000) years later, you have a religion that praises Jesus' birth on Mithras's birthday, still blames the Jews for Jesus' crucifixion instead of the Roman empire, swears an oath to the Roman creed of Nicea established doctrine inhibiting sovereign thought, and considers the Qabalah/Gnostics to be evil. It's not enough that such groups convert others through the concept of blind-faith, but they have driven those that seek more from their spirituality underground. Hence, the information that was once accessible to the many have become mysteries in the Age of Pisces. Here, one had to become an initiate of the mystery schools, or leave society for solitary experience, in order to pierce beyond the veil. The creation of the internet ushered in a new age, the age of information. At the palm of our hands, we basically now have access to a limited Akashic record. Information that was once retained in secrecy is now widespread, one that organized religion cannot hide though still manages to fight against. Information regarding once occult knowledge is now easily accessible, though too accessible where now one has to sort through vast amounts of coal to find diamonds. Words and concepts such as yoga, chakras, the third-eye, law of attraction, infinite intelligence (source energy), are much more prevalent as compared to pre-internet. Even pre-internet, those within such traditions would still have limited knowledge where a Guru was required, though a Guru (teacher) probably still should be required to help navigate through information/experiences. According to the Advaita Vedantic text, the Tripura Rahasaya, it's one's desire that is the driving force behind his/her level of spirituality. From accumulating good merit, one will then be born with the desire to worship God. From worship, one will then be born with the desire to dive deeper into the mysteries, to find a way to unite with God. Hence, it appears that an individuals desire is the level of initiation that they will proceed in life with regards to spirituality, where much of the world may still be solely in the worship and good deeds stage. The worship stage is where the universe appears separate, or dualist (dvaita), where God is worshiped externally through numerous forms. The uniting stage is where the human understands him/herself to be a microcosm of the macrocosm, as the Universe, or nondualist (advaita), where God is simply a level of universal consciousness to be experienced and drawn upon. Knowing that we are all different and hold different desires, there are those that may solely be interested in accumulating and working on good merit, others may solely want to experience God as separate, and those who want to dive into the rabbit hole of infinity. For those that only desire good merit or to experience God as separate, the rabbit hole may be a dangerous route as it is an unraveling of the ego-identity and a complete change of one's life where they may not desire such. In fact, I would highly recommend the ego-identity building a personal relationship with a Higher Source (duality) before taking the plunge, for it's not fun to walk through the valley of the shadow of ego-death alone. Nonetheless, all paths seem to be molding the ego-identity into something more wholesome, like how a flower goes through numerous phases before blooming.
However, those that have wanted to pierce deeper into realizing the power held within, were required to unravel the ego-identity for which many simply do not desire. Many are happy with their lives and would rather engage in typical material pursuits and leave spirituality for the mandatory religious gatherings. Many are also happy in bringing in religion more and more into their life, with daily prayer. And of course, there are those who seek material, and possibly spiritual aspects for self-interest. But for those willing to empty the ego-identity to serve on a larger basis, and challenge societal/religious norms and deeply held beliefs, in order to expand and connect one's consciousness with a higher version of Self, those are the one's ready for initiation into the greater mysteries. Like success in any pursuit, it's the degree of your desire. Spiritual development appears to be divided into two-paths, which have opposed and conflicted with each other from what appears to be the beginning of organized religion. The two paths are often separated as the puritanical right hand path consisting of most organized religions where a deity(ies) is(are) propagated as saviors from what is often deemed to be the dirty occult (hidden) left hand path. Even in the mystical we still have that separation as evidenced by the Qabalist Tree of Life where one seeks to know, as opposed to the Qabalist Qliphoth where one seeks to become. Nonetheless, the left hand has been historically used to cleanse oneself, and is thus considered filthy, like Tantra which seeks to unite a Yogi into cosmic self realization as the main goal, as opposed to propagating a deity. Nonetheless, the two aspects have often been at war with each other, where the left hand path is often considered "evil", where organized exoteric religion has historically sought to exterminate those of the left establishing secret societies. Though, it is my belief that the higher ups in organized religion practice left hand path, but expound right hand path in order to create submissiveness, such can be found through the numerous symbols used in Catholicism, the root of the majority forms of Christianity (not Gnosticsm, where the Cathars were eliminated to make way for Mithraic Romanism...ahem Catholicism via creed of Nicea). Numerous symbolism of the subtle body can be found within Catholicism, though the masses are still clueless, and/or call it the "illuminati". The left hand path has always been a home for those persecuted by the higher ups, like the Tantric tradition from exoteric Brahmanic rule, Gnosticism/Knights Templars (the source of the Baphomet in correlation with the Hashashin/Order of the Assassins) and really a whole plethora forms of esoteric Christianity like the teachings of Swedenborg/William Blake from the majority forms of Christianity. Though, it took me decades to really discern the practices between the two aspects, and feel that both are necessary for proper development. However, that train of thought is eluded by those on the right hand as evidenced by the following parable often expounded by devotees. As a common devotional parable goes, there was once a devotee and a yogi, who practiced their techniques with many years of earnestness to have a glimpse of the divine. Krishna appears to the yogi, where the yogi asks, "how many years before I am liberated"? Krishna responds with "you've done very well, you will only have three more life-times before liberation". However, the yogi wanted immediate liberation, where three more lifetimes was too much. The yogi gives up his practice in disdain and returns to common life. Krishna thereafter proceeds to the devotee where the devotee asks the same question, "how many years before I am liberated"? Krishna responds to the devotee, "though you have lovingly served me, you still have as many lifetimes as there are leaves on this tree". In excitement, the devotee thanks Krishna elated that he has many more lifetimes to worship his divine. Upon seeing that elation, Krishna immediately brings the devotee to Krishna's heaven. Though the parable shows the strength of devotion, in my belief, such is required to open the heart chakra. Without such opening, one cannot advance into the higher realms, or even properly open the third eye, which would open the rainbow light body/merkaba. In addition, that's how you purge Karma and keep it off, by being unconditionally loving no matter the crucifying life circumstances to the point where you can energetically forgive and love everything. That might bring liberation on its own course, but another angle is the left hand path. Those on the left do not necessarily seek to just be with a divine of choice, if they have so chosen one, but they seek to be that which is divine, which still requires the opening of the heart. Even those working with lower entities, the way to subdue them is to love them, the way Lord Padmasambhava shifted the negative entities into becoming the protectors of Dharma. As indicated above, the devotional right hand path seems to be a stepping stone the dangerous left hand path. I say dangerous as this is a path where one integrates the shadow self by facing one's inner demons (lower emotions), which can create dangerous inner vibrations that via law of attraction manifest in the external world requiring clearing. Having devotion, having guides, will make this process much less dangerous, which without such, can do a number on one's psyche. As indicated by the parable, it's the fast path route that can get you to spiritual completion, though a guide can also work wonders. Nonetheless, it appears that the left hand path is the proper inclination for the next step of spiritual evolution, as the phases are laid out within the Advaita Vedantic text, the Tripura Rahasya (Secret of the Supreme Goddess). As stated, "One learns true devotion to God after a meritorious life continued in several births, and then worships Him for a long time with intense devotion. Dispassion for the pleasures of life arises in a devotee who gradually begins to long for knowledge of the truth and becomes absorbed in the search for it. He then finds his gracious Master and learns from him all about the transcendental state....The inner Self is realized in advanced contemplation and that state of realization is called nirvikalpa samadhi." The right hand path is that of the dualist who seeks God outside of himself. Such consists of the majority of religions, and in Hinduism, is found under Dvaida Vedanta with the belief that the soul (atma) is separate from the ultimate reality (Brahman). When one longs for Truth beyond devotion, one seeks the left hand path of nonduality, recognizing the God within. Such consists of what esoteric traditions have sought to learn, and in Hinduism, is found under Advaita Vedanta with the belief that the soul (atma) and the ultimate reality (Brahman) are identical (like the air outside of a jar and within a jar, it's still air). Brahman, the ultimate reality is simply "Brah" or expansion, and "Mana" or mind. Hence, expansion of mind/consciousness/awareness. Such individuals have faced persecution by those on the right hand, where it is blasphemous to be a God, to act like a God, to feel like a God, even provided that our ancient traditions told us who we really are. As Jesus said in John 10:34, "Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?". Acknowledging this power is not "evil" where all such beings should be grouped into an evil left hand "illuminati". What makes such power evil would be what is done with it. Hence, it may be time to recognize that both hands belong to the same being. And that being is the only one in existence, the Cosmic Self.
Back in early 2014, when I felt that life was basically a "wall" for me, I met with a Vedic Astrologer in an attempt to get a glimpse of anything beyond that "wall". As I'm sure for all us, there is always something beyond the wall, but knowing it provides some hope when you feel like throwing in the towel. One question that I had asked was rather intense, and I didn't know that it would lead me in a particular route. I had asked what was the purpose of all my spiritual practices? I've had a passion for the esoteric mysteries since boyhood, but started to feel like it was an entertainment-hobby. In other words, what are the fruits of this labor? I didn't really believe in the "do this and that" and you'll get to heaven dribble, provided that, for me, that sounds like an outright attempt to control/dominate someone. The astrologer had simply responded to my spiritual question with simply more information about myself, my intuitive abilities, etc. I was left thinking to myself that he didn't answer my question. However, I realize I wasn't ready for the answer, which was really a deep philosophical question that was to unfold for me as opposed to be outright told. Sans any external permission-slip, when I'm ready, the answers will unfold. To really get the grasp of my current understanding, I needed to psychologically depose myself and my beliefs/thoughts connected with my emotional body. Though they're teachers that express this process as unnecessary, it is nonetheless what I painfully went/going through. To really separate myself, my awareness from the story-identity-ego, is really being your own psychoanalyst trying to figure out why I believe in my short-comings. Going though this is to dive into your shadow side and face your demons. Where it seems that every other pre-2014 teaching I had come across and practiced was geared towards an outward divinity, usually one with it's own ego-identity story, to help with my life, I began moving more into going within. Inside I found emotional memories (blockages/binds/attachments) that seemed to manifest my personal limitations. I can no longer find where I discovered this interpretation, however, I like seeing religion defined as re-legion, where the many become one. Through the sanskrit word yoga, we have the word yoke, meaning to bind. Spirituality seems to be best defined as dealing with spirit. So, within the symbolism of our metaphysics, we're given a glimpse of the answer that I was seeking. Through these symbols we find the aim of religion and yoga is to make an individual whole and complete, which I believe is the merge between spirit and matter originally found within the symbol of the equilateral cross. This is the merge between the Higher Self (spirit) and Ego-Identity-Story (matter/maya/samsara). To bridge the gap between spirit and matter is my aim whenever I take part in religious, yogic, spiritual practices. It is powerful to simply be in the "intent" of making that one's goal, as I do believe the universe hears through the law of attraction. The heavens of the astral plane, or celestial-abode, that form-worshipers seek to attain is still within the illusion, maya, as described by yogis. Though such abodes are excellent heights to aim for, and I'm not here to deter anyone as I would love to make such pit-stops myself, but I seek the truth of myself/Self. Moreover, I prefer the idea of the many attempting deep inner practices (yoga) and coming together to discuss our findings (religion) to better understand the nature of Spirit (spirituality). Now, I really can't identify myself, my identity-story, with the person that I was pre-2014. Any memory of those times that come up, seem to come up to be cleared. I'll use NLP, or just imagine my present self sending love to that self in that memory, if need be. That seems easier then dissecting and judging (seeking the truth, not punishing) that former aspect of myself. Overall, the emotion just needs to be cleared.
As I see it as I continue on my hero's journey, my goal is to continue to further myself to my Self. To unfold and unravel that which has limited me from reaching my true potential and accept the truth of myself. To bridge the gap of understanding and experiencing unlimited possibilities. To gain knowledge and experience wisdom. To come closer to the inner love and light within. Enlightenment. Reaching this full expression of Spirit, I hope to be liberated from all my limitations. I think that's a way we can bridge the gap between: spirit-matter; brahman-brahma (kether-malkuth); atman-atom; and A'tem (Egypts first realized man)-Adam (Hebrews first man). It's our birthright, to face crucifixion on the equilateral cross.
To begin with, and even his students would agree, Crowley was a pompous asshole. He wanted attention and his arrogance was shown in every which way possible. Ethnically Indian, Crowley would study esoteric works of the East, and on the same coin, talk significant shit about "Hindoos" for not being able to recognize the import of their own philosophies. Given the significance of Crowley's work, I simply ignored his melodramatic personality to pierce into deeper wisdom. One that I recognize now as a blend of esoteric Hermetic (Egyptian), Qabalist (Jewish), and Eastern mysticism. It is only in studying these different topics does Crowley's work begin to make sense, where he is known to write in a sexually-poetic cryptic fashion. Nonetheless, I too recently have felt the qualms that Crowley has felt when looking at the masses and thinking, "if you only understood the symbolism behind your rituals".
Now, I'm not defending Crowley's conduct. He may have committed heinous acts that I cannot presently understand or accept, and many stories may be false, but I hold high respect for any individual who goes against the collective-norm in search of Truth. Unlike many individuals that I've found in my pursuit, who seem to learn very little but act like a master, Crowley dived into it all and let the world know that "there are more things in heaven and earth, than are dreamt of in our philosophies". Yes he wanted to keep inflating his ego, but by far, Crowley was a sincere seeker of wisdom as shown through his efforts and encrypted in his writings. In contrast, I feel that sincerity among spiritual adepts is hard to find, where ego/power is what is sought after, not wisdom.
In a spiritual secret society, the primary relationship one is forming is with one's own Higher Self. -James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions Crowley's axiom is often stated with that one line shown in the preceding paragraph. However, that statement is really two lines, which the anti-Occultists completely ignore. The second line is "Love Is The Law Love Under Will". Another words, Love and Will are intertwined. If one is acting (will) completely out of love, then where does evil fit? Crowley's axiom is essentially the meeting of the divine masculine (Will) with the divine feminine (Love), recognized by those with eyes to see and ears to hear. To conclude, I don't accept everything Crowley says and does, and only take what resonates with me. However, I find that as I age in growth, Crowley makes even more sense. I now attempt to look beyond a "teachers" ego-identity and look at the information, for the information is the real Gu-Ru (the destroyer of Ignorance) not the individual ego-identity vehicle giving the information that we often end up praising. I take what resonates and leave what doesn't. With Crowley, he's been a big aspect of my own growth and I have to recognize the catalyst he has been for my own spirituality. Needless to say, spending a few hours with the works of Crowley has been more enlightening and satisfying than thirteen (13) years (including Kindergarten) of Christian education, which I found the followers to be just as pompous and arrogant as Crowley, but simple-minded. Nonetheless, I know my path. Like Crowley, I am here to seek wisdom (Sophia), not follow blind-faith.
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AuthorOverly educated and continuously exploring and revealing more behind the veil. "It cannot be too highly emphasized that the mystic swims in the same waters in which the psychotic drowns."
-James Wasserman, The Mystery Traditions Archives
August 2019
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